3yo dd bored of toddler group - don't know what to do!

[maxmissie]

Have been taking my 3.5 year old dd to a parent and toddler group for about 3 years - also take her 18 month old brother. We go once a week and my ds really enjoys it. However my dd really does not enjoy it anymore and is getting bored and also very clingy whilst we are there.

This has started in the last few months and I think stems from her being the oldest child by at least six months - all the other 3 yr olds started pre-school in Sept so I think she feels she has no-one to play with as the other kids are younger and alot of the toys are aimed at younger kids. She is not the most confident child but once she makes friends she is fine.

My dd already goes to nursery two days/week and although I did consider sending her to a different pre-school when she was 3 on the morning we go to toddlers, in the end I decided not to as I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before she starts school in Sept.

However now don't know what to do - it doesn't seem fair to continue making her do something she really doesn't enjoy but on the other hand ds does like it so don't want to deprive him. I've tried the pre-school but they have no spaces. I could stop going to toddlers until my dd starts school and then just take ds but part of me wants to keep going for ds and also for myself as it gets us out of the house, which is needed during the winter months!

Any suggestions/advice would be gratefully received. Thanks.

PS might not come back to thread for a while as am working this afternoon.

If she doesn't really want to play, could you just take a colouring book and some crayons for her and she can sit quietly and do that, and join in playing if she wants to?

We were in a similar position - ended up spending more time with the older one at toddler group than the younger one! We ditched the toddler group in favour of another group which seems to suit them both. Does your local SureStart centre offer anything else? Local churches often do groups, or ask your HV what else is around.

Otherwise get together with friends with similar aged children, and you'll still get the company and to leave the house.

Is there a particular friend of hers that you can arrange to meet there? My dd2 is the same age as yours and is outgrowing our toddler group too, She hangs on to my legs and doesn't get involved in play until her "best friend" arrives when she whizzes off happily.
DD1 used to go the term before she started primary school, when dd2 was 18 months ish - but I did have to take stuff for her to do - sticker book, colouring, story book etc to keep her occupied.

Thanks for replies, will try taking some stuff for her to do, hadn't thought of that. Had thought about trying to find another group to go to so will look into that as well.

Pretty much all of my friends with kids of a similar age either work on the days I am at home or their kids are at pre-school as well! Will work something out somehow, once the weather gets better we could always alternate toddlers one week and outdoor stuff the next.

We ended up being very selective which ones we went to- the favourite had craft and play dough, three separate rooms and loads and loads of toys. Just about managed to keep going til the summer hold before dd started in reception. Not easy after three in most groups though

Yeah, try another group, or maybe something different altogether?

I used to go to a music group with both kids that worked well. It was aimed at the older one and the younger one could join in too . Now older one is at nursery every morning I go with just younger one- to her age group but essentially the same thing.

Also, sometimes the older ones do play well with the younger ones with a bit of encouragement- are there any Mums with younger ones who you could pair her up with (can you help him/her/go play with him/her?!). Perhaps she is not quite old enough to do this- just thinking of my 2 year old who nicks my 4 year old's friends!- who seem to be quite charmed by her!

Is there any way she can go to the same nursery three days a week, or are they full? She might prefer that - it also allows her to get to know the other children at nursery better.

Have you considered sending her to nursery 5 mornings a week? It would get her (and you) into the morning routine for when she starts school in September. That would give you time with your DS and still spend time with the two of them on the afternoons.

Thanks for all the replies, went again today and dd was a bit better, got her to play by herself for a bit, with me a bit and mostly with ds. She did say afterwards that she'd had a good time but didn't want to go anymore as it was too busy!

Think I am still going to look for some other alternatives, so can alternate each week.

I could send her to nursery three days a week but don't want to as it would mean she would either miss a day home with me or with her grandparents who look after them one day a week, also can't really afford it!

Can't send her five mornings a week as she's at a private nursery so she has to go whole days, she would have less time with me and it would be impossible to work around my job.

Think when ds gets to this age will book him in for a morning at the nearby pre-school, which I should have done with dd but there aren't any spaces.