What do you 'do' with your toddler?!

[idag]

Sorry everyone but basically need some reassurance that I am not a bad mother. Or maybe I am....

My 21mo DD is a normal healthy, happy, cheeky toddler. She sleeps through and has one 90 min nap at lunchtime. I have been feeling guilty about how much telly she watches, approx 2-3 hours throughout the day (not all at once but in short bursts) She is never watching it on her own, we are there with her on our laps and more often then not it is on in the background while she plays or does other things. We go to lots of groups and activites, at least once per day, and we also go to the park most days and to visit Gran, do art etc. she is also happy to play by herself for 30 mins or so.

Basically, I want to know how other mums fill the gaps in between eating/sleeping/going out without resorting to the telly? It seems to be a very loooooong day when it is just me and her but I feel guilty for putting the telly on- do you think she watches too much? Sometimes I just can't face getting the paints out for the 3rd time that day and just want to sit on the sofa ( as am pregnant again- v early)

Sorry for the rambling xxx

That sounds like my days, although I never get paint out at home - I leave that to playgroup!

I have just 3 year old twins so slightly older, but they have only just started to enjoy watching telly. We have it on quite alot, but they never, ever sit still to watch it and are always playing, chatting at the same time.

You do loads with your dd, if I were you I wouldn't worry at all. I remember with my first ds finding the days really long. For me now, having other kids to fetch from school, take to clubs etc really breaks the day up. But with only one, there are no such interludes.

Be kind to yourself, you're probably really tired and need to sit on the sofa!!

x

Don't beat yourself about it, I must be an horrific mother if your experience is the measuring stick!
I remember when pg with dc1 telling my mother " no dummies/tv as babysitter def not" and all that jazz! Let me tell you that lasted 5 mins and by the time dc3 came along, the tv is on pretty much all day, however, I would like to add very quickly before all the haters come on, just because tv is on all day,lt doesn't mean dc3 watches it all day.

My days are the same as yours OP, a good healthy mix of different activities....we have a chalkboard where we practice shapes and numbers, we go to the park , we go to nannas but some days we do bugger all but watch a whole day of mickey mouse and handy manny, and maybe have a play with the dolls house.

You are the best judge of what constitutes a jam packed full day for your child, not all the people that bang on about how much time you spend on x y and z....

And besides, as much as I would like to say it was all down to me, it was actually mickey mouse clubhouse that gets the credit for my toddler knowing how to ( and understand) count to ten and know what shapes are what

Best get social services called for me

Don't worry about it too much your days sound way more fun than mine..........playdate maybe? :)

baking
"helping" mummy do the housework
stories
playdoh
listening to music and dancing
water play (best nearer to bed and bath)

Oh Good Lord! I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself idag! I really do!!

There is nothing wrong with a bit of telly - on my days off my 20 month DS and I flick between CBeebies and ITV1 (This Morning, Loose Women etc) until we're ready to go out and play. I would go insane if I had to 'distract' him every second of the day.

As it is, we have a nice chilled morning in front of the TV, he plays with his cars, we read books, we have cuddles, then we go out in the afternoon to the park, to meet friends for coffee, soft play, shopping etc etc.

He is a very happy little boy and I am a very happy mummy - and that is the important thing.

We really need to stop being so hard on ourselves - happy mummy = happy baby

xx

You sound like you are doing loads. I've been caught in that trap too - ended up spending loads and loads of time out of the house, just to try to cut down on tv!!!

Pretty soon you'll be able to play pretend tea parties with her, etc, which isn't messy and she will love doing.

Also - get a play doctors set. Then you can lie down and get her to take your temperature, blood pressure etc. This is a personal favourite of mine.

You are being waaay to harsh on yourself. I know the feeling of thinking you're not doing enough but you really are doing loads. you seem to have a good mix of time with DD and time playing on her own I think it does them good to play on their own, and a good opportunityfor you to have a sit down with a cup of tea!

For my own sanity I only plan a max of 1 thing for morning and 1for afternoon eg. Going to post a letter, go the supermarket, painting etc. And often the TV is on in the background the rest of the time. Don't worry about the TV, they seem much more educational than I ever remember as a kid And my DD (2.5) has learnt all her colours from Balamory = bonus!
I would recommend a den made of blankets over a couple of chairs. My DD plays for ages in there for ages with her teddies, teaset or just hiding from me!
You are soooo not a bad mother, the fact that you worry about it is proof enough :-)

Sounds like you are doing great.

If you want to cut back on telly ever then just plan more visits to friends (well that's what I do!).

Then she can play with/alongside other toddlers and you can chat to other Mums.

Days get a lot shorter once you have two, so perhaps you should enjoy the calm before the storm!