Quiet, whispering 7 year old

[nusooze]

I have a daughter who is confident, very capable and I would say pretty intelligent. She speaks normally at home and when out socially in peoples company that she knows but at school she speaks EXTREMELY quietly and whispers to people (adults and children alike) when in new social situations. It is getting worse as time goes on. It's as if she is trying not to be "there" and almost invisible. She is extremely tall and skinny for her age and I wonder if this has anything to do with it.

HELP! I boost her confidence when i can and tell her how fantastic she is doing but it is getting worse instead of better.

I can't help - sorry! But am here to say that I also have a DD like this at home so I'll be watching for any tips too.

It is really frustrating, especially as some of my family members think she is rude and I end up defending her and also trying to pep talk her at the same time.

If I were you I would popher into some private singing lessons....singing teachers have the best techniues for getting kids to dare to use their voices.

If she really couldn't bear to sing...even in private, then Yoga for kids. Yoga is all about body control...its relaxing and helps them deal with worries...whilst at the same time teaching them a certain strength and grace.

Both would boost confidence.

I think I might be asking for some professional advice either through the teacher, school nurse or the GP. If she doesn't get some support at this stage it could develop into selective mutism.

An educational pyschologist could give the teacher strategies to help her feel more confident about speaking at school.

Try really hard not to pressurise her to speak more loudly but reward her quietly afterwards if you feel that she's made an effort in a difficult situation. That should help to reduce her anxiety while boosting her self esteem.

Don't be fobbed off by people trying to protect budgets and try to have the first appointment without your DD so that you can speak freely without embarrassing her. Do tell her what you are doing though so she knows that she can trust you.

Hi, my DD was just the same from starting school, until the last year of Infants (she was 7). Luckily the school picked up on the problem and they had a special nurture class for children that needed one on one help! She only did a few mornings or afternoons a week and they worked on building her confidence. Academically she was in top sets for everything but was just so shy and quiet.

Also the class she was in was a very noisy one. When reading to her class teacher she was so quiet she struggled to hear her. In the end her class teacher used to take her out of the class (when possible) to hear her read.

Her quietness and whispering got so bad in the end though that other children would answer questions for her because they knew she didn't want to! They were jumping in to speak for her before she even had a chance though.

However, she is now super confident, speaks up and participates in class verbally and in assemblies. I was so proud at her leavers assembly when she stood up and read out a paragraph about her favourite school trip in front of the whole school and parents.

The nurture class helped so much and we just encouraged her and supported her so she felt she could be as confident & loud at school as she was at home. The activities they did with her in the nurture class were great and she joined the school singing club - also really helped. I would speak to your DD's class teacher and push for some extra support for her as the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for her to change. Good luck.