Bedtime problems with toddler & newborn

[WiltshaMumma]

I have two daughters 22 months and 2 months and find everything goes well until it comes to bedtime! Its usually just one pair of hands at bedtime and quite often all three of us end up sobbing as I just can't seem to get it right! My older daughter is very strong willed and emotional but thrilled at the arrival of her younger sister.

I was just wondering if anyone else has some top tips to stop bedtime descending into a family cry-fest!

My top tip is to put DD2 into a sling so you can do DD1's bedtime hands free while keeping DD2 happy and close to you

I had a Kari-Me sling which was brilliant. I could breastfeed DS2 all the way through DS1's bedtime. I also found that DS2 would happily sleep in the sling so didn't have to worry about DS2 getting overly tired.

When DS2 got to about 3 or 4 months, he started needing his own bedtime routine, rather than just lumping around after DS1, and he needed to go to bed earlier than DS1. (Prior to that DS2 had actually settled quite a bit later than DS1 - we had thought that DS1 would be jealous of DS2 for staying up later, but it didn't work like that.)

I had no hesitation to leave DS1 in front of the TV for the 20 minutes it took to get DS2 bathed, fed and settled. DS1 was fine and liked the responsibility of being left on his own like a big boy.

When I had to do bedtime on my own at this age, I used to bath them together (Having been sure to feed baby recently), take baby out first, dry and dress him while older one carried on playing in bath (I was still in bathroom), then I put him in the cot with the mobile on - he loved his mobile and a couple of rounds of that would usually be enough to give the older one some 1:1 attention and get her to bed, then baby and I would head back downstairs for an evening of cluster feeding and snuggling (can you tell I miss it a bit !
After a few weeks of this, the baby started to be asleep in cot by the time I went back for him.

Thanks for your tips, might try the sling tonight, think dd2 might be happy in there so long as not hungry whilst we go through dd1's bedtime battles.
DD1 isn't great at occupying herself no matter how much you guide her and will resort to ransacking or tantrums when tired and attention not on her (i'm making her sound awful, she is wonderful just heavy going at times!) If I get her sorted I can give dd2 time to feed and drop off in a quiet relaxed environment.

just wanted to let you know you are not alone finding it tricky! it is just the one pair of hands in this house too and bedtime can be horrendous.

ds2 is just 4 months and it's been easier for about a month now, as i've decided he tends to be needing to be asleep by about 6.30pm - so i can get him down before ds1 who goes off at about 7ish. that works for me, as ds1 is better going to bed if he i can focus just on him and stop any antics!

i think it depends who needs to get to bed first though - if your dd1 needs to go first, then def feed dd2 before you start dd1's routine. i've tried feeding the baby whilst ds1 is in bath/having a story and it just always goes to pot!

what's working for me at the moment is, i feed ds2 downstairs and then, if he needs a bath, chuck him for 2 mins before dressing etc and into the cot as quick as i can. i leave ds1 to watch a bit of tv (if i'm lucky) or he plays upstairs with us. he doesn't play particularly quietly or by himself, i.e. trains/cars/buzz lightyear etc are pushed under all our noses, but ds2 doesn't seem to be bothered with it.

anyway, main thing i wanted to say is, it will get easier!

How did it go last night? x

thanks for your post waytoomuchchocolate I know that with these little ones what works one day doesn't the next and it will get easier!
cinnabarRed illness has beset our household so my parents have been helping out and I haven't done bedtime solo for a few days now! Will start afresh next week with two well children and renewed strength!
Thanks to all

Wow, that takes me back. Really tricky but it does get easier.

hi,

just posted about DD who can't fall asleep on her own.

I also have a DD2 who is 2 month old. luckily she is a good sleeper and falling nicely asleep without me holding her hand.

anyway, DD2 is still sleeping quite a lot. so I take DD1 to bed when DD2 has an evening nap in the launch. I make sure she has a good feed before I take her sister to bed. that way I can give all my attention to DD1 to get her ready for bed, read story & wait until she sleeps.

do you have a DP who could also help?

Hi cheapflower I have a DH, who helps at the weekends and when he can but usually during the week he is often away or working late.

There is never a problem when there is two pairs of hands!

I'm now pregnant with my third - I have no idea how I'm going to make that work!