16 mth old tantrums-too early to ignore?

[abenstille]

Please help me deal with this!!
My 16 mth old dd has been tantrumming for a while now over little things like wanting a particular toy another child is holding etc. They don't last too long (a few minutes) and she can sometimes be distracted.
She basically, arches her back and throws herself to the floor head first. I obviously try to protect her head as she goes down, but once she's down on the floor I realise Ive been a bit unpredictable on how I deal with her.
Sometimes shes managed to hurt her head, in which case I cuddle and appease her a bit, other times we are in public so I pick her up and talk calmly about why she can't always do what she wants (think Im trying to show others that Im dealing with it!, other times, she falls on the rug at home and I try to ignore it or chatter about unrelated things.
I realise its an attention seeking thing, but is she to young to be ignored?
Just to clarify, she does seem to understand lots of words eg. no, chair, cat, shoes, dinner, drink etc. but she is not speaking words herself yet, just babbling.
Thanks for your advice!!

Going through this myself with 17mo DS!

I tend to go to him and explain why he cannot do something (which he is far too busy crying about to listen to, really), before trying to distract him with another toy etc. And praise x 100 when he is playing nicely after he has calmed down. If he tries to push me away or fling himself down I ignore him for a bit then try again with above after a couple of minutes.

Not saying this is the best method, mind - I'll watch with interest what others say!

You are certainly not doing anything wrong. Try to stay calm and not let her see it causes a 'reaction' from you.
You can ignore a tantrum and still monitor it - Often children will up the ante if they are getting no response which often alarms the parent into giving the attention. If you do get panicky or give in then the child will be worse next time.
Distraction does work once the child has stopped scraming and throwing themselves about.
Try not to raise your voice,..lower it to try to calm the situation.
I remember sometimes I would end up shrieking which just escalated my daughter's 'performance'
You sound like you are doing better than you think you are

Where do they all learn to fling themselves to the ground?! My 16-month old DS is exactly the same! Luckily at this age the tantrums are short-lived...I try my best to ignore, don't know whether that's the right thing to do or not.

Sounds like you're handling it exactly right. She's too young to be able to understand or even control her actions, and just needs you to help her manage her emotions and calm down. Giving her calm reassurance, but not giving in to any really unreasonable demands (eg that you hand her her bowl of food back so she can throw it all over you again) is all you can do really.

DD2 is 20 months, and sometimes gets so worked up she refuses all kinds of reasoning/cuddles, crawls out of the room, gives herself a few seconds time out, then crawls back in for a cuddle! (she can walk btw, don't know why she resorts to crawling when she's like this)

You can certainly (try) saying a firm 'no' to things at this age, but I don't think there is much point in trying any more formal types of discipline until much older -probably until around 2 years or so. Depends a lot on the child, you'll know its deliberate when your child gives you a really cheeky mischievous look before drawing all over the wall.

Sorry - and reading your OP properly...! - regarding ignoring her sometimes: I think that its fine. You will probably have an instinct as to whether she's really upset and in need of a cuddle (or some kind of self harm prevention), or can just be left to her own devices for a bit. I wouldn't worry about being inconsistent, as different reasons/situations/levels of upset will need a different response from you. So just do what seems right to you at the moment basically.

thanks everyone. We've had tantrums on average every 15 mins all evening - though I think maybe toothache and tiredness was the problem today ...
Im thinking maybe a combination of explain, ignore then cuddle.

Oh dear, hope she's feeling better today. I have to say, when they're ill and tired I do tend to be much more forgiving and just cuddle them (if they'll let me) (and calpol/profen is also your friend, you can practically see it working in front of your eyes behaviour-wise!).