depressed 6 year old

[goofman]

Can you help? My neice is 6 and a half and is saying she wishes she didn't exist and she doesn't like her face and body and thinks she is ugly. I'm worried that she is depressed. Has anyone had experience of this before? Any advice?

Oh no, how sad.

My first thought is that she may be being bulied at school. Could that be possible? Some children say really mean things to each other and maybe she is too scared to tell?

Yes, that's a helpful thought. I suggested to my sister that she contact the teacher and ask if anything is going on at school. I know that she has friends and boyfriends at school so I don't think she is totally isolated but maybe she is being picked on by other girls. What is the best way of opening up this topic with a child as i think, like you say, she may be too scared to tell. The fact that she has said what she has probably means she does want someone to know though. I am a bit confused about what to do for the best and how to open up the conversation.

Children do say dramatic things for effect as well as to express deep feelings, so I don't think this is necessarily the same as an adult saying this (mine also say 'I wish I were dead' to get me going, which it does every time) unless there are other signs she is depressed. But it does sound like something has made her conscious of her looks. I don't think you can necessarily completely reassure a child by just saying 'no you look lovely' but it's a start, and spending lots of time with her lovely aunt will help too, and give opportunities for chatting.

Obviously if you think there are other reasons she is depressed or she is exhibiting other signs, you could take her to the doctors just for a quick check.

I think you need to start with the child. Ask her if she is happy at school, who her friends are , who she plays with etc.
My DD started this aged 7ish, it turned out she was being bullied. The school were next to hopeless at sorting it out and I needed to phone the parents of bully boy.
It is heartbreaking, but persevere.

Thanks for your advice. I spoke to my sister yesterday and she said my neice is always looking at things pessimistically and never really seems very happy. I will see her at the weekend and try talking to her and my sister will contact her teacher and then maybe we will have more of an idea what the problem is. It's so heartbreaking and worrying :-(