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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD now 19m and still not walking....

42 replies

Species8472 · 01/02/2011 10:27

Not sure what to do. Should I take her to the doctors?

She cruises very well everywhere, can stand unaided and does do a few steps on her own, but just doesn't put enough together to actually get anywhere. She'll do a couple to get from one piece of furniture to the next, before deciding to just crawl as I guess it's easier and quicker.

She has a baby-walker, but that doesn't seem to have made much of a difference and she's not that interested in it. She does like to walk with us holding her hands or hanging onto the backs of our legs. I really thought she'd be walking by 19m....sigh. She's very bright and fine in every other aspect, saying words, understands a lot of what we say, very interactive etc.

OP posts:

catfan · 08/02/2011 12:07

Species, Congratulations. I'm so pleased for you and your DD.

Dr CosyTiger (great name!) thanks for your kind words. Yes, he can weight bear so hopefully it will happen. For some reason I've just been getting myself in a panic. I'm not helping myself by constantly googling... My DH has now forbidden me from talking about it.

Original poster

Species8472 · 08/02/2011 14:27

Thanks catfan. Yes, good advice to stop Googling....no good ever comes of it, I know from experience! It will happen, probably just when you don't expect it, like it did for me

OP posts:

Original poster

Species8472 · 14/02/2011 13:03

How're you doing catfan?

OP posts:

BeatriceLaBranche · 14/02/2011 15:29

I was going to say that DD didn't walk until 19.6 months and now (at 23 months) you wouldn't know any different.

She has never crawled since the evening she walked unaided. DD crawled very very quickly and was so unsure of walking, but she got there eventually.

BeatriceLaBranche · 14/02/2011 15:39

By quickly, I mean speed wise (once she did it), she didn't sit unaided until 10-11 months, crawled at about 13-14 months.

musicmaiden · 14/02/2011 17:15

Catfan - my DS is the same age as yours and not walking either yet.

Does he wear shoes? I only ask because mine never had, and his nursery suggested getting him some cruiser shoes as the floors there are wooden and they felt he didn't have the confidence to try to walk when wearing socks only on them. Anyway, since he's had his shoes (and he hated them at first, but that's a whole other story) he does seem to have been more keen on walking 'practice' there, although he still wants to hold hands. At home he stays in socks as we mostly have carpet, and I don't think overuse of shoes is good for their feet.

Anyway, enough waffle but wanted to say I still feel your pain

catfan · 15/02/2011 10:08

Hi all,

Species, it's nice of you to ask. Still not walking and I'm still panicking. I'm holding on to the fact that the excellent nurseary he is at aren't at all worried. They say he is developing normally and will get there. I suddenly started worrying about cerebal palsy the other day - surely though there would be other signs?

Beatrice, thanks - that's very reassuring. My ds also crawls at lightening speed and I think perhaps he doesn't want to give up on it for a more precarious form of movement.

Musicmaiden, funnily enough I got him fitted for some cruiser shoes yesterday. We have very shiny wooden floors at home so think perhaps that hasn't helped... I hope both our sons start walking soon...

minimuffin · 15/02/2011 10:34

Hi Catfan - just saw your post and I know how this feels. DS1 started walking at 26.5 months - yes, nearly 2 and a quarter! We got him checked out when he wasn't walking at 18 months - it turned out he has hypermobile joints - or double-jointed. This meant that he couldn't bear his weight well - on ankles, knees and hips. Because he couldn't walk, his muscles and ligaments weren't strengthening in the way they normally do. So he was in a kind of vicious circle. He is also an EXTREMELY cautious child so whereas some kids would have just tried to get up and have a go, they reckoned he didn't as he didn't feel safe. He was very proficient at crawling by that stage, as you know, so that also took the impetus off for him.

The bad side was I was worried sick by the time he was coming up to 18 months, I would meet up with friends with DCs the same age and come away crying for DS as the other kids were running around, climbing things and he was sitting quietly on rugs or crawling about. Felt he was missing out on so much. Started turning down trips to soft play centres etc cos I knew he and I would both end up stressed. It was miserable - I so feel for you, I remember it well.

The good thing was, once we were referred by GP to a paediatrician they did a very thorough review of every aspect of his health and development, so I knew there was nothing more sinister going on as no-one was worried from a professional POV. Set my mind at rest and meant I had an answer when people commented. Amazing how much more relaxed that made us all. And when he walked, at 26.5 months, he just got up and walked. We never had that stage of constant falls and tumbles. Probably due to his nature in part, he didn't try to run before he could walk . We were also referred to specialist physios as part of it and given advice on shoes (sturdy with good ankle support) and exercises (getting him to crawl up and down stairs lots) so I'm so glad we got him checked out. DS2 didn't walk until 18 months, so it's clearly something that's running in the family, and I was completely chilled about it. If you haven't already - sorry I haven't read whole thread - I'd just go to GP and get some advice and your mind put at rest. Good luck!

catfan · 15/02/2011 14:48

Hi Minimuffin,

Thank you for your extremely understanding message. It's good to feel that people understand. I've started to avoid seeing people with other children of similar ages - although he is at nurseary. I can't help comparing him which makes me feel terribly guilty... Also, hate it when family and friends keep asking me about his walking.I have wondered about hypermobility (I'm a compulsive googler) but my ds does weight bear and cruises a lot. In fact, he is very happy standing as long as he is touching something - not independently standing yet. He also walks pushing a walker. Would I be able to see any signs of hypermobility?

I am planning to go to the GP just feel very nervous and my DH doesn't want me to.

catfan · 15/02/2011 14:50

meant to also say that he loves climbing - onto furniture, up and downstairs, etc.

minimuffin · 15/02/2011 16:14

Hi - DS didn't do much climbing from memory, although he could just didn't seem to like it, but he did stand and weight bear when holding on to something. He could stand for ages against a chair and play with little cars etc and would cruise along the bookcase looking at stuff. It wasn't obvious to us that he had hypermobile joints but as soon as it was pointed out you could see it. His little ankles sort of rolled in slightly when he stood. When the physio took hold of his feet and rotated then they went through almost 180 degrees. They still do to an extent - he only started to be able to jump age 4 (he's 5 now) - everything took longer for him to do as he had to build muscle tone and confidence etc. As I said I think it had quite a lot to do with his character too - he was never, and still isn't, a rough and tumble kind of boy. A boy who wanted to be in the thick of it with his peers might have got going sooner in spite of the joints.

I tried taking him to gymboree and tumble tots etc, to see if being forced to be more active might get him going. That was demoralising as at 21 months he was in classes with 12 month olds who could walk and it felt humiliating for him. I hated it. I got so fed up of the comments, and my friends from ante-natal group especially as the children were the same age, it felt like everyone thought there was something a bit wrong with him. You know when you start to wonder if it's obvious to everyone else that something's wrong and you're blind to it because you don't want to see it as a parent? It was that feeling, plus my mum's constant wittering at me to get him checked out, that made us do it and I'm really glad we did. It meant I stopped worrying and that when people commented I had an answer that shut them up and got them off my back which was such a relief. I could say the consultant wasn't worried so neither were we.

Maybe give it another month or so then go. DS stood up unsupported for the first time about 3 days before he walked. It was as if once he believed he could do that and not fall over, he knew he'd be able to walk.

minimuffin · 15/02/2011 16:15

Sorry i mean maybe give it another month or so then go to see GP!

Original poster

Species8472 · 16/02/2011 16:48

Aw, catfan sorry you're feeling so rotten about this .

I totally understand about the not wanting to take them to groups, soft-play etc; I felt exactly the same with DD, and felt so depressed for her when some other child was trotting around at 13m and DD was crawling. I used to dread people asking how old she was.

Interestingly, we have wooden floors as well, so I don't know if that was a factor for DD, maybe it is for your DS as well.

Mimimuffin's advice sounds very sensible. Take him to the GP; in all likelihood there's nothing at all wrong, but if it is hypermobility it's very easily dealt with and you can say 'up yours' to the busybodies

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partyhats · 16/02/2011 19:34

I saw this thread and had to reply.DD1 sounds exactly the same as your child. She did not walk unaided until 22 months.I was very worried and like you was googling and finding things like cerebral palsy, she was referred for physio, paeds etc, there was nothing wrong also she does have hypermobile joints.
At 20 months she got up and walked around the room for a few minutes then she would not do it again after that until 2 months later when she just started walking one day! She too would walk holding onto the walker and with a harness if she thought I was supporting her but not when she realised I had let go! Try not to worry, it seems as though things are moving in the right direction and there is nothing wrong, it will happen soon! Keep us posted

partyhats · 16/02/2011 19:35

btw dd1 is 6 now and doing fine!

CameronCook · 16/02/2011 19:36

When DDs friend was late walking (2yo) they saw a specialist who said it was not a major concern if they were weight bearing, which presumably she is if she's cruising the furniture.

jugglingjo · 16/02/2011 19:55

Just to say my friend's little girl was just the same. I remember going to the park with them at a similar stage. Luckily my friend was confident enough to just let her get on with crawling everywhere, plus occasional goes on swings and see-saws etc.

She grew up perfectly fine, and is a delightful girl, just like her older sister (who walked earlier) I'm sure your DD will be walking soon, and certainly before she's two. Try not to worry about it ! Just keep enjoying her company ! There are much more important things IMHO ! She'll be fine !

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