What helps me not to do it?
When I didn't use the hair piece (see lucinda ellery online) and could physically get to my head, I used to see a therapist and we'd talk etc. I would go weekly (drive home from uni every week to see her!) and that really helped. It's a head thing you see, caused by stress. And now with me, as I've been doing it for so long, it's a habit - one that I will never break now. :(
CBT, hypnotherapy, drugs....there are a lot of treatments out there now. Like I said, I wear a hair piece now so can't pull...but you don't want it to get to that point for your girl.
Wha triggers it?
With me, it was my mother miscarrying a baby when I was 2 years old and us getting rushed to hospital behind her ambulance. My aunt was driving me and she had to pull over after noticing in the rear view mirror that I was pulling chunks of my hair out.
I don't really remember doing it too badly throughout my earlier years, but I do remember finding it again (as it were) when I was bored at home one day and pulled out a hair and saw the root at the end, I was so interested. I remember being pulled up about it whilst away on a Brownies trip by another girl who noticed a bald spot.
By the time it got to school it was terrible. Strangely enough a family friend who is a little older than me also did it, and this kind of caused my condition to flare up, but he stopped, and I didn't.
By the time I got to uni I had pulled out most of the hair on the top of my head, and used to wear hats and scarves most of the time.
I would say boredom and stress cause it. Then after that it became a terrible terrible habit, like nail biting.
I went to see Lucinda Ellery (google it) and the rest is history. I have the hair piece which looks amazing and I can't pull out any more hair. However, if I didn't pull another hair out for as long as I live, it wouldn't ever grow back - I've caused too much damage.
How much stress does it cause?
So much, so so much stress. Before I had this hair piece, I would think about it every hour of every day. The shame, the covering up, will I get a boyfriend, what about staying over at people's houses, what about sports, what about going to a club. Exhausting and very sad.
Don't bother changing anything now. Just trying and document and diarise when she does it, without her knowing if poss, so you can present this evidence to the specialist when you eventually get an appt.
I wish you the very best. I wish wish wish my mother had done more for me when I was able to beat it - I'm too far gone now.