Mummy Mafia's

[MoaningMedalllist]

I'm sure everyone who has been to a playgroup has experienced this.

I'm a young mum (sons 17 mth i'm 21)
I do worry about this going into groups with 'older mothers' they can be quite rude about it.

I'm worried I don't want my son to pay the price and be like an outsider for others snobbery if you get me, it really worrys me this may happen

I'm starting another one next week , any tips on how to overcome this, anyone been in that situation??

I found younger mothers to be just as snobby actually. I don't think age makes much difference. People will be cliquey no matter what.

Its always hard fitting in to a new place but after the first few visit it will be easier and as you all get to know each other you will find more common ground.

I've not been in your shoes, but suggest it might help if you hold a few thoughts:

A) the children won't recognise your age, all mummies are "old", but

B) children that age do not necessarily know how to play nicely together yet - there may be ructions, but they will be nothing whatever to do with your age, or parenting style, or whatever.

C) your age is never the key factor in your parenting style

D) people who are snuffy about your age are not demonstrating a good attitude - they are the problem

E) how likeable people are is not related to their age, so there's a good chance at least some of the other mummies will be normal and friendly

F) it's always hard to be the "new girl" - your age isn't necessarily the main factor.

I hope it all goes better than you're imagining!

It's very hard to fit in to groups. I tend not to bother too much with being chatty with other people, as I'm just not that way inclined (strange as I feel fine about posting on here to complete strangers).

I'm an odd one out at groups as I'm not a Mummy... I'm not even the right gender. So stand out like a sore thumb and people seem to avoid me.

So, if you see a bloke at a group, go talk to him as he probably finds it even harder to fit in with the rest of the group.

I expect everyone going to a group finds it hard, unless they already know someone there.

In see your point nick,

thanks for the replies fingers crossed :)

Have you tried your local SureStart or Children's Centre for groups specifically aimed at young parents? Even if they don't have a young parents group, they will accompany you to any of their sessions and introduce you to other parents if you phone them in advance and let them know you are feeling nervous.

Moaning what are they rude about? You being young?

Hey Moaning, we've all beeen ignored/felt awkward at groups...you just need to shop around!

If it's any consolation I'm 37 and I feel well out of place at groups where I could be the other mothers' mother if that makes sense!

Are you sure it's because of your age? I have found at soft play, play group and nursery that it's not so much that there is a mummy mafia but people tend to talk to the people they know and the ones they don't are just not on their radar.

I thought the mums at my son's nursery were a bit cliquey but I've spoken to some of them from time to time and I think it's not done intentionally to exclude, it's just that they're talking to their friends rather than the people they don't know.

Maybe just try taking a deep breath and starting a conversation with one of them, they'll probably turn out to be a nice enough person. They might think you wouldn't want to talk to them if they're much older than you.

Frawli, you may have a point it may appear more cliquey than it seems but I have have had some rude comments before e.g. someone asked me how old I was and when I did they said "Ooh I bet you've been round the block then!"

in the one I was in before they were all 1st time mums but it was only me they'd all say 'Oh well you're probably out every weekend!' "you're still learning' ¬¬

auntyfash- thats the one I'm checking out on tues

I went today, fortunately saw someone I knew ;)

was okay

didnt get much time to sit and chat myu son is a tornado these days lol

at the comments you've got moaning. That's just plain rude, especially if they don't really know you that well. Arse*oles.

I'm 32, but when I'd given birth and was in the ward with a 21 and 20 year old they thought I was 23!! .

I went to a baby sign class the other day for the first time and there was a young 20ish mum and a gran in her 60's, but both were friendly and chatty. Looks like there was a bit of a bad bunch there.

Hope your other groups have nicer people there.

I may be 32 but this is my first and I am totally clueless. The 20 yr old in the ward had been there for a week due to her baby being jaundice and she was showing me the ropes and I was very happy to take tips. S xx

Oh, and I was out every weekend (almost) before DS!!

Great times!

thanks Sassles hope it carrys on well

at my antenatal there was a woamn about 28, sat there going ,
'Oh my baby could have 2 possible dads'
all other mums just nodded and very sweet to her, My blood boiled If that had been my they would have all gone

Jk on my arse!

*woman

god I cant spell on here