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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

nappy ban?

23 replies

elseIlltellyourfather · 29/01/2011 18:12

Also posted in potty training but maybe more experince here: DS is 2.9. He has been dry for about 6 mths but WILL NOT do a poo in the loo or potty. He never goes in his pants but insists on having a nappy put on then being left alone to go. I am considering saying that, from Wednesday, we are getting rid of all the nappies and that's that! I can mark the days on a calendar for him and he is able to understand that but I have one big concern; that he may start to hold on or go in his pants. He has simply never done either so I realise I am lucky in that respect and don't want to make an irritating situation into a disaster for the sake of it. I am just gettign so frustrated - we have tried everything and I never get cross - rewards charts, new toys (shown him in the shop) even a new DVD of his favourite programme, still wrapped up and waiting for him, which he understands and often looks at the case for it and talks about when he does his poo and gets it! Anyone have any experience of this or advice - will it be a big mistake?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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schmee · 29/01/2011 18:14

Have you tried putting a nappy in the potty for him to go on?

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 29/01/2011 18:35

yes, in potty and loo! He seems to get quite paniked at the thought, even if he gets to the point of saying he will try and sitting on loo nappy under his little seat and warm (from radiator) towel lining seat so it isn't cold on his legs: I just can't see what he has to complain about in that lot! Feel I have tried everything.

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purepurple · 29/01/2011 18:40

I would be tempted to just let him poo in the nappy for a little while longer. He is still very young. I have seen a few children who have issues with pooing when potty training, who hold it in and refuse to go. They can give themselves awful problems.
I am sure that he will get the hang of it in the end.

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 29/01/2011 18:52

Thats is what I am worried about, but I just find it so frustrating. It bothered me this week when i was out for lunch and he needed a poo so had to go put nappy on then wait outsdie loo for him then take it off again! Why do you think it can be such an issue? Saying that, i have memories of pooing my pants at primary school becasue I didn't want to ask to go (and getting very told off)

OP posts:

purepurple · 29/01/2011 19:00

With some children, they just like to feel in control. Just give him a bit more time to feel comfortable with his body and what it can do. I would keep mentioning, though, that big boys, and mummies and daddies poo on the toilet and when he is a big boy he can do it do. Just plant the seed, without putting on the pressure and he will come round to the idea. He just needs to feel that he is in control.

shrinetothomastank · 29/01/2011 19:10

I have Ds of 2.7 who is not showing the slightest interest in potty/loo. His older brothers were almost 3 before they were potty trained - so i think your boy is a genius. He is showing control/awareness and planning !!! Let him develop the rest at his own pace and try not to worry. He is, after all, just a man....and they love their time to poo!

Seville · 29/01/2011 19:16

Believe me, having a child who withholds their poo is not a situation you want to be in. At times, DS's constipation and withholding has dominated the entire family interaction. The Christmas Lunch where he wouldn't sit down at the table and eat because he was trying to hold his poo in. The months and months of soiled pants. The fact that he is sad and withdrawn, and embarrassed when he smells bad and leeks poo.

Sorry to be graphic but it really is hellish when your child develops psychological issues around pooing. Read the bowel training support thread on the potty training board if you want more evidence of horror stories.

My advice is to ignore it: just give him a nappy with as little fuss as possible. He will grow out of it. It sounds like a control issue at the moment, and that's just what caused DS's problems with withholding.

If you absolutely can't bear it, then perhaps try a step-by-step approach: nappy on but poo in bathroom, nappy on but poo standing next to loo, nappy on but poo sitting on loo, nappy on with hole cut out sitting on loo etc...

shrinetothomastank · 29/01/2011 19:25

And praise ..lots and lots. When he does a poo in nappy can you tip it into the loo and wave goodbye together? - I did that with one of mine and he moved onto loo ok. But he was older...so bide your time

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 29/01/2011 19:28

Thank you so much to you all. I will leave it and ccarry on. My instincts said leave it but I was being impatient at feeling like we were so nearly there. New baby due in June too so maybe thinkign about that too (but not DS's problem!). Thank you to you all, I am convinced!

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ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 29/01/2011 19:35

My friends little boy was like this and it took ages for him to be happy to do it in the potty/toilet. Children (apparently) feel quite scared at the idea of pooing and it coming out of their bodies (weird huh) but I'm sure if you just make it more appealing not to do it (offer bribes for 'when he's ready') but make no fuss about it, it wont be long before it's not an issue anymore. Also things like 'Big Boys' use the potty/toilet don't they when he's doing wees will help reinforce the idea. Buy nappies for the baby when he's with you - talk about the baby needing nappies because it will be a baby and not a big boy/girl.... just let it filter slowly through and before you know it he will be using the toilet.

blushingm · 29/01/2011 20:42

my ds was like this - would never ever go in loo or potty and never soiled himself either. Would wait til bedtime when he had a nappy on and hide under the bed and pooh in the nappy. We tried banning nappies but he just held on and on and on which caused him pain. He will do it eventually - i found them more i made an issue of it the bigger the problem became

mololoko · 29/01/2011 21:40

We printed off poo goes hiome to pooland and it worked a treat. Worth a try?

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 30/01/2011 09:44

Thanks mololoko we have it already - he always asks me to flush the poo from the nappy down the loo to poo land!

OP posts:

purepurple · 30/01/2011 11:05

Help and support here www.eric.org.uk/Parents/ConstipationandSoiling

Plumm · 30/01/2011 11:07

DD did the same until after her third birthday. We just let her do it until she felt comfortable enough to use the toilet.

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 30/01/2011 11:58

This morning I told him I wasn't going to try to make him go on the loo naymore and that he could tell me when he was ready to start trying, and in the mean time nappies are fine. He was very happy, bless Thanks for saving me from messing him up over such a minor thing

OP posts:

purepurple · 30/01/2011 13:30

Glad you are both happy

mummywizz · 30/01/2011 20:12

This is more common than you think, my son was dry after a week but continued to poo his pants for about 2 months then went through a phase of waiting until the night nappy went on to do it. My dear friend also has the same poo issue with her son.
He is now totally over it and will take himself off to the toilet to do his poo
They all get there in the end just some gentle encouragement is needed, good luck

manchestermummy · 31/01/2011 09:50

My DD was like this, dry for 6 months but poos a real problem. My MIL solved it in the end. DD adores Mr Tumble and MIL made up some story about Mr Tumble doing poos. This struck a chord with DD and a few days later she asked to do a poo on the toilet "Just like Mr Tumble". This combined with a sticker chart has worked wonders, and within 3 weeks, she's cracked it. I hadn't been pushing it (new DD born in nov) but after 6 months of being dry, there was no way I was dealing with two lots of pooy nappies...!

Might also be worth making sre there's enought fruit and veg in his diet so that there's no difficulty in going, iyswim.

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 31/01/2011 20:57

well everyone, today collected very excited boy from childminder's; he had done 3 poos in a potty! Whadayaknow?! Told her this morning (in front of him and genuinely)that we were forgetting loo/potty for now and that he will ask for a nappy to poo, no questions/pressure etc please. She was very happy to do this but said he chose to use potty 3 times! Not expecting it to be a done deal now but will help his confidence hopefully.

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hefferlump · 31/01/2011 21:52

LOL I could have written this a year ago :-)
DS was exactly the same bless him - always asked for a nappy and went off behind a door somewhere to have a private poo LOL

He did it in his own time - but he had to be on his own in the room with the potty ..... this was and still is very important to him.
DS is quite little and still wont do a poo on the loo (he's 3.3) but as he grows I'm certain he will choose the bathroom.

Glad you're both happy and chilled about it - it will happen soon enough for you xxx

Original poster

elseIlltellyourfather · 01/02/2011 10:46

Thanks hefferlump, it is quite sweet isn't it?! He goes crazy if I come into the room before he has finished, and pushes door shut onto me!

OP posts:

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 01/02/2011 11:53

Typical

Hopefully all the fuss will make him feel like it's 'worth' going on the potty!

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