I sympathise completely and am at the same stage as you! My DD is 3 next week and has become so uncooperative. I expected it as my 4 yr old DD was there not too long ago.
I know it's not always easy, but I find the distraction technique works best.
With getting dressed I try to distract her by asking which foot she is going to dress first and asking her which is her right and left etc. She prefers to be naked so getting her undressed is not a problem.
The 1.2.3 routine works quite well at times. I warn her that if she doesn't do as I ask by the time I reach 3 then she wont get a bedtime story/go to the park/have playtime before bed etc. You have to carry through the threat a few times before the 1.2.3 routine actually works.
I have forced DD into her clothes a few times, so now the 'if you dont put your clothes on, mummy will' line works too.
But saying that, there are times when nothing works! That's when she gets put on the naughty step or into her room to cool down.
After she has calmed down from her tantrum I would suggest explaining to her that her behaviour is not acceptable and that the way she acted made you feel sad and cross, then ask her how it made her feel and ask her why she had a tantrum.
It's a slow process, and extremely tiring and emotionally draining, but eventually you get on top of it. Then before you know it this stage will have passed and you will have an adorable 4 year old who will 90% do as she is told without throwing a tantrum or getting upset.
I hope some if this helps. Really feel for you. (Have just had a horrific bedtime with both DD - any suggestions on how to get them to bed without world war 3 starting???) 