hysterical when needs a "poo"!! Please please read.

[housearrest]

hello everyone, I hope this message finds you all well. I'm not sure if this is the correct board for mr problem but here goes!
My 2-and-a-half yr old son had, a few months ago, been happily using a potty-not every time though and just a few days, so we were playing it by ear. About 6wks ago a very strange thing started to happen-he would have a nappy on and would start to get very agitated, whining like he was in pain, jumping up and down etc., when this happened he was extremely clingy and we literall couln't move from the sofa, then it would pass but this could go on for hours-it finally became clear that it was leading up to a poo! This is still going on and I'm at the end of my tether now-I just don't know what to do as its affecting everything we do-before he goes he can spend 2 days clingy and screaming-has anyone else had any this or anything similar-it feels like I'm going mad with it!!

Hiya

I haven't had this with my daughter but I my friend has twins and 1 of them had the same problem screaming everytime she needed a poo! Im not saying its the same but it ended up being that her bum hole (sorry no better way of saying it) is to far back. She needed to have sopositries (terrible spelling!!) to help her poo easier!! Have you taken son to the Doctor? Sorry cant be more help! x

check out the potty training section. This seems to be fairly common. Some kids try to "hold in" their poos. I can't remember the advice on the thread about this - but it would be worth you checking.

Alternatively, He could be constipated & in pain.

Try prubes/prune juice, more water. Also cut down/out milk & bananas until he improves.

Perhaps offer to lrt him sit on potty when this starts? We had brilliant success with our 2yo ds' He got a candle to blow out if he weed in the potty, and he got 2 candles if he did a poo in the potty - we made a big deal of how clever he was to get "2 candles" (we let him blow them out several times, we all clapped and generally cheered him and he thought it was wonderful). We never had a problem with him pooing - even when he was a bit constipated he really tried because he wanted his candles. We also had the potty in the lounge and let him run around with no nappy when we were at home (once he got the idea what the potty was for), so that he could help himself to the potty. Because he wanted his "candles" he only ever weed on the carpet twice (no poo accidents luckily). We were very firm though and he only got candles when he weed/pood in the potty (or "big toilet" as he calls it, which he started using soon after using the potty - as we would offer to let him use the "big toilet" if we were out, and if he went successfully he'd get candles when we got home). After about a month he stopped asking for candles (although now, 5 months later, he will very occassionally ask for one and we still give it to him)

Also, check his bumhole. At one stage our ds had a little tear on his (which was very difficult to spot) and needed medicine from the doctor to clear up.

GOOD LUCK. This is not uncommon behaviour, and I'm sure you'll soon have it sorted.

Are his stools hard and therefore painful? You can buy lactulose which works by allowing water into the stool and sofening it, making it easier to pass.
What do you do/say while he is getting himself into a state? My DD is/was the same. We started the 'wow, how fantastic, you're doing a poo, brillint, get ready to say 'by-bye poo' game'!!!!
The things we do aye!

How is yoru ds getting on HouseArrest?

i hope you have found some helpfull advice.
all i would say is that if he is in so much distress i would take him to the DR.

I don't want to make you feel worse housearrest but I had this with my ds1 for about a year in all. He was pooing fine on toilet for a few weeks, got a bad cold, became a little constipated, stools got a bit hard (before I realised) and then obviously hurt him on the way out. From then on it has been a constant nightmare. It is a very common problem, its worth having him checked to make sure there is no underlying cause but if everything is normal, I would suggest lactulose as well. Not only does it soften the stools it also makes it very difficult for them to hold it once you get the amounts worked out. They can seem to hold it indefinitely sometimes and this in turn makes their stools harder so you have to break the cycle and work towards having him forget that it can hurt sometimes. My son is prone to constipation as soon as he gets a cold, I watch his diet like a hawk trying to avoid but it still happens occaisionally (spelling?)and when it does, we are right back at square one. Touch wood it has been 2 months now since we have had a problem. Over the preceeding year I have tried all rewards, charts, games, treats nothing made any difference until, I am ashamed to say, I snapped. I knew he wanted to go, he had wanted to for 2 days and we were going through exactly what you described for the billionth time, clinging, whining, jiggling, every 30 mins or so. In the end, I'd just had enough and sat him on the toilet(psychologists cover your ears)he screamed the house down, I was next door in the kitchen bawling and feeling so guilty and frustrated that I couldn't make it alright. I told him he was not coming off 'til he had done his poo and that was that. I wandered in and out for about 5 minutes, he calmed down and then suddenly became hysterical again,I went in and held him and he did it. I threw all nappies, trainer pants in the bin and kept that approach (but a bit gentler, giving him games to do and books to look at)and we have been successful since. I think he was getting hooked on the attention he was getting and I was conspiring, unwittingly by comforting him I think I was giving the message that "yes pooing does hurt and it is very scary". Anyway, I hope you find your way through, you may be lucky, a sticker chart might do it. I have to add though, my mums neighbour had the same problem with her 3 yr old daughter and ended up cracking and doing the same as me (we hadn't discussed it)she is also doing well now. Good luck with whatever you try.

just read my post, I'm not a monster, really I'm not!

Hi there
comiserations on struggling with this problem - hope it gets sorted soon. One thing though - if you haven't already you MUST take him to the doctor. CHildren can get rectal / colonic dilation because of build up of poo - it's very important to get medical involvement to manage this problem and avoid long term problems (don't mean to frighten you - I just think it's important not to struggle on alone at home).
Cheers

Mushbrain - you are not a monster! Just a concerned parent, making sure their child's system works properly (and avoid longterm problems).

I was lucky in that a reward (candles to blow out) did help my ds (together with modifying his diet, cutting out bananas and cows milk, giving prunes and prune juice and apple juice - while he was constipated).

Hello all, thanks so much for all your responses and sorry its taken me so long to reply.
Mushbrain-so not a monster!
Last week my son was screaming and shouting and jumping up and down and-and here's where I'm the monster-I just looked at him and said "I can't help you, you just have to go to the poo" and walked away from him!! I don't think I've ever felt so bad but I just could not listen to the noise anymore.
I'm beginning to see a pattern now and its when he gets the feeling that a poo is coming he gets really irate-but his poo is soft! And when he does it he then wants to look at it! The thing is is that it can take 2 days for him to actually have a poo from when he gets the feeling-i feel so bad, i'm just whinging about it all the time! I've tried everything and have also taken him to a homeopath-here's hoping that things get better. Thanks again everyone xx

My DS used to 'hold on' for upto a week, often in obvious discomfort (doubled over in pain, but still refusing to go), before eventually delivering a large rock solid poo that even I would have struggled to get out (accompanied by heart_wrenching screaming)

After a few months of this, getting steadily worse and us getting to the end of our tethers, we finally managed to get our GP to refer us to a Paed.

Basically DS was constipated and a few painful poos had made him very scared of doing one.

The Paed prescribed lactulose (softener) and a laxative to get DS into the habit of going regularly and painlessly to break the cycle.

For the last 6 months he has been fine, going regularly on the big toilet once a day.

I would definitely get in to see your GP and keep going back until you are happy with the results (the first few times they just told us to get DS to drink more water).

I sympathise totally, it drove us mad for a long time, to see him in so much pain and fear, but since seeing an expert everything seems to be getting back to normal.

Plus as someone else alluded to, medical problems can arise from holding back too much.

Good luck.

My 4 yr old had this problem until just a few months ago. It drove me absolutely up the wall! The thing that worked was prune juice - my mum told him that it gave you small poos! It took a while to get him into a routine (he used to regularly hold on for a week or more)but now he does a poo every day. On the potty though - still won't go on a toilet. We thought we'd leave it a while before suggesting he tries the loo - I'm just so pleased we're not getting the jiggling and wailing any more.

My daughter who is one has just started crying when doing a poo. I examined the poo and it felt firm but not hard so i don't know if she is constipated or just scared when passing the poo. I am going to the Dr. about it so im hoping problem gets sorted soon. Its horrible listening to my daughter crying and screaming in pain. The minute she has passed the poo, she is back to her normal self. Do you think she could be constipated, she is a breastfed and formula fed baby, weaned as a vegatarian Or do you think she could be scared to pass the poo, as when she was just breastfeeding, it was very very soft. I sometimes get the feeling she is scared of it, has anyone else experienced this?

DS started to hold on to his poos when he started on solids after bf. He got in a cycle of holding them in because he was too scared to go and then having to pass poos that were nearly equal to him in length which made him scream with pain, sweat etc.

We tried prune juice (which DS loves) aswell as other recommended foods. Doctor initially prescribed lactulose but didn't really help (and I was concerned about all the sugar). He is now on Movicol powder sachets, which really helps to get things moving.

I would really recommend talking to your doctor about the problem as children can suffer with quite bad anal injuries if left untreated.