3 1/2 yr old with communication probs

[Yaz11]

My son was a late talker and quite slow developmentally from birth. Since the age of 3 yrs, his speech and language has started to improve but he still behind when compared to his peers. This is more evident now that he has started pre-school. His teacher has raised serious concerns about his inability to socialize with other children and his reluctance to communicate with them, give eye contact or respond to their questions.

They have referred him for speech and language therapy but the waiting time is 18 wks so they are getting anxious and are now referring him to a child educational psychologist.

The strange thing is that he loves going to nursery and he's settled there from day one. The child he is at home is very different to the one they see there.

I can't understand whether he is shy, scared of the other children, just unable to communicate at their level or whether there is something else wrong with him.

There's an immense pressure on me to figure out how to help him reach his full potential and there's also a fear within me that there may be something psychologically wrong with him.

Does anyone out there have any advice they can give me or can relate to this situation?

Thanks.

Any time we get questions raised about whether our child is developing as they should it creates in us fear and guilt.
I suspect that is what you are feeling - otherwise I am nit sure who could be exerting pressure on you to figure out what the issue is?

I suspect that the nursery are looking at delayed speech, plus difficulties in socializing plus poor eye contact and are questioning if your child may be somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

If that is the case it will not mean there is something wrong with him but it will mean that he may need different means of support to achievevhis potential.

The Ed psych may find that your ds is just more reserved because of his speech issues or may feel the nursery have been seeing things that aren't there. But , if he does have asd type issues he will be exactly the same boy in front if you now. And thecearlier an intervention and support he gets the better.

You may want to look at the sn section . My son has severe autism but other on the sn board have children with aspergers or other ' milder' issues.

I hope this helps. I hated the. Weeks when ds had been referred for assessment but no one had the balls to tell me what they were considering may be going on

Thanks. That's really helpful and I totally agree with your last sentence. Know one is telling me what they think is wrong with him so I'm trying to find some answers because the wait does seem so long and I don't want to be shocked like I have been when they've had meetings with me in the past.

I only realized today that it may be asd that they're considering when I was searching amazon for books relating to speech and lang probs etc. That's why I've posted this thread because this is all so new to me as I've never come across it in my family/social circle before.

Thanks for your reply.

I can slightly relate, although the preschool and the paediatrician have been quite upfront about it.

DS is now 3.3 and started preschool. He was late talking, and now hasn't really acquired language in the same way as other children (IMO).

The preschool supervisor said that he had autistic tendancies because of his lack of eye contact - however with other people he is very very good with eye contact.

She didn't mention about other children, but I know from watching him, that he doesn't try to talk to other children and he ignores them if they talk to him. Although, since starting preschool he takes much more of an interest in what other children do.

He has been under observation since he was born as he is also hard of hearing.

Basically every health professional we have had contact with has said "wait and see".
So now we spend our time debating if he is or isn't autistic to whatever degree.

It is hard when they won't come out and say what they really think (which was the case when we were in England and he was younger). Now I am not sure what will happen regarding that, although it has been suggested that DS get help based on his needs, rather than any diagnosis. That I find reassuring.

I am not sure if any of that helps, but I felt that I could related to your situation. I feel like I am in limbo.

Yaz

Have a look at the special needs section. There are other parents at assessment stage and everyone there recognises how difficult and emotional a time it is.

The thing with asd is that it is such a huge spectrum and it can drive you crazy trying to figure where your child fits in. And then (god help us) we strart looking fir symotoms, or getting muddled about what is an autistic behaviour and what is just our child being their quirky selves.

I was exactly the same as you. We had no history of asd anywhere (and I have 30 nephews and nieces!) so it was like a thunderbolt. I wish I had had a parent based resource like this to help me back then.

Having said that you must remember that hearing problems can give rise to behaviours that mimic asd. Nothing is on a set course yet.

Good luck

I actually know of a nephew who had hearing problems and was facing the same problems like your sons. I think boys had 3 or 5 times than girls the chances to be autistic. Anyway he had 2 operations (his mum said) and at 4 1/2 he was still not speaking or socialises but only hit his cousins. Now at 7 he speaks properly. They also said he had ADD (but his mum glues him on tv and let's politely say she 'ignores' her children). When he was younger I once noticed that he could draw a car quite well, better that other 'normal' children so developmentally he was not backwards. And speaking alone is not a good indicator.

I am not an expert and never had experience with proven autistic people. I just felt like sharing what I've seen and I hope that your children are fine and hopefully will better at their nursery :)

Ninani

My son can draw and could do jigsaw well, and probably has a photographic memory. He still has severe autism. Children with autism can have a very high level of intelligence.
Autism is not anything to do with mums ignoring their children.

Sorry to hijack, but pagwatch, what asd behaviours are mimicked by a person with hearing loss? Thanks.

When ds1 was first being investigated his primary symptom was no speech and huge tantrums. He also had a huge desire to control certain aspects if his environment like what order we sat in on the sofa and what plate he had. I wangled him into a specialist centre for speech delay where several children had poor or no hearing as their primary issue.

I had many many sessions with the Ed psyche who was honest with me about what they were considering. I was assuming asd by then but he explained that his experience at the centre had shown that may children with hearing impairment could display tantrums, controlling /OCD type behaviours, poor social skills and poor eye contact.

As it gies these turned out to be part of his asd as I/ we suspected but he said you exclude physical issues as a cause first, especially in younger children.

Does that make anything approaching sense

Yes, that makes sense! Thanks for telling me about this.

Sorry Yaz for taking over.

Yaz It might be an idea to go to your GP or HV and ask for a referral to a developmental paed (or the equivalent, there'll be different names/services depending on where you live) for an assessment of ds's social communication and interaction abilities. A speech therapist can only assess his speech and language, and an ed pysch cannot make a diagnosis (if there is any).

If he is struggling to interact with his peers he needs help, whether it is language related (or an ASD).

As pag says, language delays can affect social communication - at 2yo it's fine as kids just chase and play physically and alongside each other. When they're 31/2 the play becomes more sophisticated and verbal, so whatever the cause of his language problems, he would benefit from the right kind of help.

Come to the SN board for loads of really useful info too

Thanks everyone for all your useful advice. Sorry about the delay in replying. I've been trawling the sn board and trying to figure out what's going on (quite obsessively!!).

I will definitely be speaking to my GP. I have a strong feeling that he has Semantic Pragmatic Disorder. After reading this article:

www.hi2u.org/visitors/spd.htm

it just sums him up completely.

will be posting a thread on sn board.

Thanks all for your kind words and advice :)