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3.5 year old hyper, doesn't listen, hard going

9 replies

doricpatter · 26/01/2011 13:35

He's a lovely kid, mostly polite and friendly, can be quite serious and emotional but not many tantrums. He seems hyper, constantly - running from room to room, hand flapping, making loud meaningless noises, doing a bloody annoying fake laugh all the time and totally ignores anything I say when he's like this. So we end up shouting at him just to get his attention and things have become a bit negative, not helping his morose tendencies. His peers seem less like coiled springs, more willing to listen, and less prone to making the odd noises. The preschool say his concentration is above average. All of this is worse when he's tired (he's chronically tired as not a good sleeper although we're making progress with addressing this). Is it within normal limits, this stuff?

OP posts:
laughalot · 26/01/2011 13:40

I can sympathise with you as I have two children who are exactly the same. My ds is now 6 and he was the same at nursery and it turned out he was very bright and nursery just wasnt enough so he would just run around not bothering about who he hurt along the way. I can only say it will get easier he is still the same but knows how to deal with it now.

My dd is just 4 and is following in her brothers footsteps so atm I am going through it all again Sad.

Keep your chin up when he starts school fulltime he will have to sit I thought it would never be possible with ds but it is Grin.

arista · 26/01/2011 15:55

Hi there I have a 3.5 year old that has been acting up as well. She has been pinching staff when put time out and from what I have been told she refuses to sit for story time and is being disruptive at nursery, she is always on the go and has also been pitching, kicking, screaming, punching other kid and they seem to think that something might be wrong with her like ocd, adhd or autism etc.. you name it. But the problem is that she is not like this at home she can be so sweet like kisses and cuddles. She likes to write, stories and crafts etc she is even starting to write her abc etc she knows all shapes, abc and recognise all the letters and colours and the nursery think she is bright but I cannot understand why she behaves so badly there. Anybody with some advice would be so much appreciated. She has been going to some toddler group since 9 months and has never ever kicked pinched a child and she plays with a little girl same age as her nicely has never hit her. So why is she behaving this way there. I am tired of being told of every bad thing she gets up to. Please help I am new to this site and fell that my daughter is a bit like your son that is always on the go but bright except for the hitting that occurs at nursery only.

laughalot · 26/01/2011 16:18

Arista they said the same about my ds in nursery that there was something wrong with him ect I used to come home sobbing thinking why me why my child and it boiled down to him being very very bright and was just simply to bored at nursery. The problem is they concentrate so much on helping the kids who are struggling then those who are bright get pushed aside and start to play up because they are bored.

My ds is now in year 2 and flying he is doing year 3 maths already. I would have a word and ask if they are challenging her. Hope you are ok I know how it feels when people start labelling your chld.

SpeedyGonzalez · 26/01/2011 16:20

Doric, how much telly does he watch? Our DS (age 4) goes hyper if he watches more than 30 mins a day.

doricpatter · 26/01/2011 16:53

Thanks everyone. Some people have said he's bright - he's a great talker, good vocabulary etc - but you always think your own child is clever, don't you?! So I'm not sure.

He does watch a fair bit of tv, and he gets completely zoned out when it's on. I try to limit it but DP puts it on first chance he gets so I feel DS is spending longer than I'd like watching it. It would easily add up to more than half an hour so I'll definitely think about how we can reduce it.

OP posts:
SpeedyGonzalez · 26/01/2011 20:11

I would definitely go for the telly thing first, in that case. If your partner is unsupportive, perhaps you could refer him to a book which someone recommended to me: Remote Controlled. As you'd guess it's about how telly affects us. I haven't read it but intend to.

With DS, we increased his telly viewing one Xmas, then cut it to 30 mins when we realised how hyper and uncontrollable he was becoming. We noticed the difference in about a day. It was astonishing. It's well worth trying it for a week or tapas an experiment.

Also did you see that recent Guardian article about the woman who banned all screen time from her home for 6 months? Her kids are much older, but it is still relevant and makes for fascinating reading.

Best of luck with this.

SpeedyGonzalez · 26/01/2011 20:12

Oops! That should be: "AS an experiment"!

arista · 27/01/2011 17:11

Hi just wanted to say thank u so much laugha lot it is good to know you went through all this and your son is doing great now. You know this is exactly what I do come home and sob my eyes out. It is hard for a mum to hear all this as of course all of us want our children to be good. I also try what speedygonzalez mentioned as my daughter like watching tv as well.

laughalot · 27/01/2011 20:41

Arista im sure you will get there in the end dont get me wrong my ds still has his moments and he does have to channel his energy into things else he is easily bored and starts acting up Grin. Dont get upset its easier said than done but things will improve xxx

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