Nearly 4 - hitting/pushing/hair pulling/biting

[Dancergirl]

Dd3 is nearly 4 and the youngest of 3 girls. Older two are nearly 8 and 9.5. She often has a violent streak in her, eg she pushes, scratches, pulls hair etc. Sometimes it's when she doesn't get her own way but often for no reason at all. For example she starts cuddling one of her sisters and then gets rough and starts pulling hair, scratching etc. Dd2 has scratch marks on her arm!

Dh is a firm advocate of the naughty step/time out and while I sort of agree, it's just not always practical, eg if we're in a rush in the morning or if she plays up in the car.

Any ideas? I am ashamed to admit I have given her the odd smack which does tend to stop her in her tracks but I hate doing it. There must be another way.

Sounds like she is getting overexcited- when you say it starts affectionatly she probably gets carried away iyswim?
Also - she is 3, her sisters are 8 and 9.5 - she is just a toddler, they are big girls. My friends dd2 is very rough and tumble as she tries to keep up with her older sister.
Not sure what good smacking is going to do - you are punishing her "violent streak" with more violence....confusing for her?

I would try a star chart, should work well with that age. Make it together and show her she will get a sticker for every 30 mins she doesn't display violent behaviours (maybe 1 in the morning and 3 after school?) If she has 3 at the end of the day she gets a treaT. ( We have used their choice of DVD or a small number of sweets as rewards)

Also get your big ones onside in that if she is rough or hurts them they walk away from her and refuse to play saying to her clearly DD3 I will play with you when you stop hitting, biting or what ever.

Hi there I have a 3.5 year old that has been acting up as well. She has been pinching staff when put time out and from what I have been told she refuses to sit for story time and is being disruptive at nursery, she is always on the go and has also been pitching, kicking, screaming, punching other kid and they seem to think that something might be wrong with her like ocd, adhd or autism etc.. you name it. But the problem is that she is not like this at home she can be so sweet like kisses and cuddles. She likes to write, stories and crafts etc she is even starting to write abc etc she knows all shapes, abc and recognise all the letters and colours and the nursery think she is bright but I cannot understand why she behaves so badly there. Anybody with some advice would be so much appreciated. She has been going to some toddler group since 9 months and has never ever kicked pinched a child and she plays with a little girl same age as her nicely has never hit her. So why is she behaving this way there. I am tired of being told of every bad thing she gets up to.