First Day by Ourselves!

[Cbell]

OK. So my hubby has gone back to work and today is the first day alone with my lovely little girl of just 3 weeks.

No sure how to proceed. What do I do. How much does she need entertaining when awake. Am I stunting her development by posting on here and not singing the alphabet to her.

Pass notes would be appreciated.

Here's my advice:

Make a ginormous mug of tea, and open a packet of chocolate hobnobs (or your biscuit of choice).

Enjoy the tea and biscuits between feeds and nappy changes, and reading mn.

You can sing between mouthfulls

Seriously though, I wouldn't worry about entertaining just yet. Enjoy some quiet time with her.

I have a 9 week old ds, and also a 21 month old dd, so quiet time and hot cups of tea are a thing of the past! (And if I open biscuits, dd eats them )

Enjoy the cuddles and get as much rest as you can. DS is 9 months and I am back to work next week, and it is over in a flash!

The early weeks are so special, congratulations and enjoy!

Congratulations! As others have said I would really make the most of this time. 3 weeks is v early days, you're still getting over the birth so take it easy. You can give her lots of cuddles but make the most of being able to sit down, watch some telly and not have any schedule.

I remember when dd1 was born and I loved the sense of freedom I had. Newborns are really v portable so you can go anywhere you like! Try and go for a walk each day, will be nicer when the the weather's a bit warmer. Meet a friend for coffee, do a bit of shopping etc. Really you don't have to do anything special, just chat to her as you go about your business. She'll be plenty stimulated just by chatting to you and going out and about and seeing a bit of the world.

When she's a bit older you can start going to baby/toddler groups but the purpose is more for you than her! I would also recommend joining your local NCT for local events when she's a bit older.

I needed/wanted instructions too! (Actually, I clung to DH's trousers and begged him not to go into work with DS1 .)

If weather's nice, try to get out for a quick walk/trip to the local shop. Even if weather's not nice, really. Fresh air is great for tiredness and getting out breaks the day up.

Do you have any local mother and baby groups? Or an antenatal group you met before your baby? I found these a lifeline, particularly going to my new friends' houses and sitting around, propping our tired eyes open and necking cake. Try online searches for groups, ask your HV, or look at the NCT website (don't have to be a member, in fact most people at the groups won't be). Sharing new experiences and anxieties is really calming and makes you feel less isolated as a new mother.

How are you feeding her? Get your stuff ready if ff so wailing for food NOW! is kept to a minimum. If breastfeeding, then just prepare to spend a lot of time sitting down with a mug of tea to hand, a book, tv on, or mumsnet on laptop! I spent entire days on the sofa with a feeding or sleeping DS1 on my lap... happy days. Now I have a 5 wk DS2 as well, so he's in the sling, DS1 needs attention all the time (we're doing playdough) and I am permanently sleep-deprived, because I can't even nap while DS2 is sleeping. (DS1 at home all the time) Oh yes, sleep. Get some while you can!

You don't need to do anything with her for months and months yet.

Best advice anyone ever gave me is that DCs develop by themselves, provided you feed, water, love them and keep them warm. Your DD will just do it, you don't need to make it happen for her.

So sit yourself down on the sofa with the remote, cos soon she will be 18 months old, running about full of energy and you will have to tire her out entertain her!

Once you have got this weeks' shock of being on your own with her over, you could join a group or two - always nice to get out and see other mums a couple of times a week. We NCT mums used to meet every week. We also went to baby and mum cinema which was great. Some people did swimming lessons or buggy exercise groups. Don't go overboard though - your DD doesn't need a different activity every weekday! And you don't need to wear yourself out doing that either ... you are only three weeks post partum and you are still getting over it.

If she's asleep, go to sleep.

It's the biggest mistake I ever made. When he was asleep I would worry about him sleeping too much, then one day he stopped sleeping and I was still knackered because I spent so much time worrying.

what everyone else said. I think when its your first you think you have to be DOING stuff with them but you really don't just being awake in the world in excitement enough. Enjoy it. When my DC2 comes along in May I will have a 21month old so less sitting down for me, though am planning to keep him in his childcare 2 days a week so will have 2 days just me and little un - milk choc digestives for me!

Thanks for all the lovely advice. It is nice to feel like I am not the only person home alone and posting on here stops me talking to myself too much!

Yesterday went well. I managed to do a lot of things around the house that I probably shouldn't have worried about...cleaning manically. She slept a lot which meant that I was running to check that she was OK every 5 minutes. That must could as exercise right!

I am very aware of the need to create some structure and opportunity to get out and socialise but that can wait until next week.

Today's goal....leave the house. We might go and buy some pansies to plant in the garden