5 yr old DS wakes us up 5 to 6 times a night!!! Help

[MatNat]

My DS wakes us up (well mainly his Dad) 5 to 6 times a night to either be tucked in or ask what time it is, anything basically to get us to go to him, if you don't go into him he shouts louder and louder and then will come into our room to get us up!!! We've tried the back to bed routine, we've tried bribery nothing seems to work, everything else is great with him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

When you ask him why he does this what does he say?

Is he scared of the dark, is his room cold, is there a noise???

Ds1 was like this - we had moved house 4 times in 2 years and he was very insecure. We made him a little bed on the floor at the end of our bed, and once he felt settled in our new house he was happy in his own room.

my daughter went thru a stage of doing that and we got her a traingin clock which shows a nighttime scene thru the nite and watever time u set it to in the morning it changes to a daytime scene. Every child is different but helped with us as she cud see it wasnt morning so eventually got herself back to sleep

We have actually done the very same thing he is currently sleeping in a little bed at the end of ours at the moment, to try to get him sleeping all night so he can then go back in his own room!!!

I do think it has something to do with him being scared he has a very over active imagination, but we try to reassure him, but nothing works

Does he have pinworms?

Is he hungry?

Something causing him a lot of anxiety?

Would a night light help or does he have one and it's making his room too bright?

Do you stay with him when he is first put to bed or leave him to fall asleep on his own? How much attention does he get from you on a daily basis?

I would say (if it's not worms) put a little mattress in your room on the floor, plus sleeping bag (and put a sleeping bag on his bed too to eliminate the need for tucking in) then tell him he can come to your room if he wakes and can't get back to sleep. No calling for the attention of mum and dad needed. He may have discovered the joys of parents' undivided attention in the wee small hours. Put him in charge of dealing with the waking up himself; don't get up to settle him, and don't engage in conversation beyond a sleepy 'Glad you were able to sort yourself out, DS. Goodnight'.

He'd be getting short shrift from me at that age, I'm afraid. Returned straight back to bed in silence.

I was wondering about anxiety there has been a lot of stress in the house for a while our beloved ds2 passed away 18 months ago and ds3 arrived 5 month ago altyhough my ds1 handles things so well or seems to.

What are pinworms?

That's different then, so yes, there probably is some anxiety with him so more reassurance would be good and the little bed in your room would be lovely for him to feel more secure. Pinworms are threadworms.

Threadworms = pinworms. They are active at night and can wake a child from sleep due to intensely itchy rear end just at the anal opening.

Did you discuss death with him? He is at an age when children can be really afraid of death, really curious about what happens to us when we die, really aware of life having a beginning, middle and end. That end part can fascinate a child and give rise to all sorts of anxiety.

Meant to add, very sorry to hear of your loss.

Oh yeah we've talked to him about it a lot when it happened and now just the other day we were at his grave cleaning his headstone and he was asking questions I'm always very honest and always answer whatever he asks he has always been kept involved in everything. He seems so calm and cool about everything he started school just last Sept absolutely no problem settling in loves it!!

He's been on his little bed in our room for about a week now how long would you suggest I keep him in with us for!

Thank you all for your comments I'm so grateful you're taking the time to help :)

I would say start him in the night in his own bed and let him navigate to your bed if he wakes (not start in his bed in your room), but take all responsibility for moving around in the night himself without your attention. The longer he starts the night in your room, the harder it is going to be to get him to accept his own room again.

In order to talk about fears he may have, and in order to entice him back into his own room, could you suggest redecorating it, giving him choices about theme, colour, where the furniture goes - you might talk about pirates, dinosaurs, farm animals, superheroes, firemen (scary things, familiar things and heroes) colours and what they suggest to him (mood, feelings) and listen carefully to what he says. Plus, if he got to choose the style of his big boy room he might feel more 'king of the castle' about it when he's supposed to be sleeping there.

all of mine do this from time to time. a couple of months back it was ds1 (who is almost 6), right now it is ds2, who is 3

I generally either go to them, or let them come into my bed (then move them back once they're asleep).
they just stop after a while. I figured that they must need the security for some reason, so i am happy to go with it

We always let ours come and sleep on our floor if they were lonely or scared. They all settled happily in their own rooms eventually.

It sounds as if you have all been through an awful lot of sadness and stress. I am not the least bit surprised at your ds's behaviour. I think he needs your understanding and reassurance.

I am so sorry for your loss.