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3 year old with new brother

2 replies

VixyT · 24/01/2011 23:12

I have a 3 year old daughter who has always been bubbly and loved playing with her friends. Her little brother was born at the beginning of December. When I started maternity leave, we reduced my daughter's time at nursery. We decided not to stop completely as she is in her preschool year and has attended the same nursery since she was a baby so it is an important part of her life. My hope had been that in her days off we could do lots of activities together like ballet and gymnastics as well as just have fun at home. But, she really does not want to spend any time out of the house at all and doesn't want people to visit. If we go anywhere, she won't join in and just wants to sit with me. Today, we had a little girl over to play and my daughter refused to play and ended up hiding in her bedroom in tears. I am really worried about her and about how best to bring her out of this. We have talked about what's wrong, but she won't really say. She has said that she preferred things before her brother came along and I have told her that I can understand how she feels as babies aren't all that much fun but he will improve with age and have encouraged her to talk about how she feels. I've also tried to spend as much time as possible doing things that she likes eg cooking and to keep her routine as normal as possible. I don't know whether to go with the flow and not push her into activities and play dates or whether I should push her (which seems a bit cruel). Am I worrying too much? I suppose I was just so looking forward to this time off work with my children that I want it to be perfect - which is impossible - aaah! Advice please

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
stottiecake · 24/01/2011 23:24

Hello!
I would say - not from experience (have a 2.2 yr old) but just from things I've read here - just follow her lead. Her world looks quite different now and she probaly needs a bit more time to adjust. Lots of cuddles etc. I think if you try to push her before she's ready it might go a bit wrong.
I think I've read older children can regress a little to babyish behaviour too which is completely normal and they always come out of it.
I will be keeping an eye on this thread as I am expecting number 2 in July and wondering what to expect from ds and how to handle it!
All the best Smile

lovereallyhurts · 24/01/2011 23:34

Hi, my DD1 was just the same when DD2 came along. She was 3.2. We had a couple of months of really sad and angry behaviour. Now, 9 months on, she is a bit better. She still says she wishes the baby would go away and never come back and that she doesn't like her, but she seems to be back to her old, happier self in other ways. I think you just have to sit it out and keep doing the things you're doing. Maybe push her a little bit, but not too much - I think lots of reassurance is the best way to go.

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