Please help

[tjacksonpfc]

Please help someone i am at my wits end with my son.

He was 5 in October and is in full time school. I am really struggling with his behavoiur though. He is on the go from the second he gets up. He won't listen to anything i say to him. I have tried time out and everything. It has got ot the stage I have to send him out of the room so i don't loose it with him.

He stamps his feet slams doors, shouts at me and I don't know what to do anymore

Any advice will be much appreciated tia.

Do you have a routine in place before and after school? Not too strict, but some structure so he knows what he is expected to do and when?

Also, have you tried a reward plan? So when he does something right, he gets a token/sticker/object in a pot, but if he shouts etc is warned he is about to lose it then if he carries on he doesn't get it

Hi purple thanks for the reply, yes we have a routine in place after school as him and dd go to taekwondo twice a week so they have to be sorted for that. The rest of the week they chill out for a bit then have dinner and bath before bed.

We have done the reward scheme it worked for a couple of weeks then it stopped. He said he doesn't want or need anything so doesn't care about rewards. That is why i am at the end of my tether i just dont no what to do anymore.

Hmm, tricky one. Reward doesn't have to be a toy, or big. It could be a trip to the park, or McD's, or time with a favourite toy/game, or a particular pudding after dinner...

Also, it could be bits of something. For example - every day he earns a lego man; when he's earned 20 lego men, he gets a lego castle.

You could also think about the tone of voice and body language you use when you speak to him. I'm not in any way suggesting you are a "bad" parent, but changing how you react to him could change his attitude iyswim (I work with people with SN, so I've used this myself and know it can work!!) Try to keep your body language open - don't cross your arms, or put your hands on your hips or in your pockets. Stand at a 45 degree angle to him, not head on which is confrontational. Sit or squat at his level; as adults, we sometimes don't realise quite how much we tower, especially little shortarses like me lol. Force yourself to speak slowly, in a low-pitched voice. Say "I will not be spoken to like that" then stand up and turn your back.

I may be preaching to the converted, in which case I apologise. Just speaking from experience in case it's of some use

I think it is very hard for kids to start school and they can be horrible at home to compensate for being so good in school. I think it is part of the adjustment process. My only advice is to meet your child at the classroom door with a good chunk of carbs, and then to give him an early dinner. Worked for mine!