Clothes phobia. Aaargh!! Will she grow out of it eventually

[Mummyella]

DD2 is 4 now and at school, but since she was about a year old she has HATED clothes. I know this is quite usual but with her it is beyond a joke.

She often walks around all day holding her clothes away from her body. I have totally lost the battle to get her to wear socks and knickers. She will never wear more than one layer on any part of her body except a vest top and a coat with a shiny (slippery) lining which she wears 'off the shoulder' and without buttons done up .

She has NO understanding of the concept of cold. She sleeps in the nude with no covers. Yesterday in the car I was a bit chilly (with my normal January clothes and coat) and turned round to find she had wriggled out of her top, opened the window and was basking in the icy gale as we went along the motorway.

Will she grow out of this?

This reminds me of a little girl we used to know at a similar age& brought a smile to my face :)

She was so bad & her Mum so exasperated & trying to keep her in clothes, whilst dealing with 2 other very young kids, 1 with developmental issues, that she just give up & stopped fighting with her DD......

we'd often bump into them, said DD stark naked & happily scootering down the main street, this behaviour didn't actually last that long when the girl realised it was no longer getting her Mums attention & roll forward several years she is now a a very bright, happy & well adjusted young teen

I'm hoping someone else comes along to offer some advice. My first thought was that it is quite extreme... I mean my ds (5) hates socks (the seams) and we if his pants are just a smidge not right we have to get a new pair.

However he does feel the cold and has to have pjs and duvet on. Is your dd at school yet? Are there any clothes she can tolerate? Sorry not much help hope someone else comes along.

It is extreme Charlie - I have heard of autistic children being like this but she doesn't have any developmental or social problems.

She is at school and wears some approximation of the uniform - luckily the school isn't too fussy. She particularly can't bear anything close round her neck, any soft or snuggly fabrics or anything at all tight. She wears some really cheap and nasty polyester boys school trousers, one of two school shirts, no vest/pants/socks/cardigan and some cheap ugg-style boots. She looks like no-one loves her.

Plus, the looks I get in the street sometimes. The number of times a day I have to say 'can't keep clothes on the child' to interfering kind strangers. Grrr. I keep expecting social services to call, particularly as she is skinny as a string bean .

Might not of made myself clear there,

yes it IS quite extreme behaviour, but I have seen it before, so it obviously does happen & in the case of our good friends DD, she DID grow out of it & no SN there at all, & it did seem to be a reaction in her case to being an only child & then suddenly having 2 younger siblings & her not liking it at all & wanting her Mum all to herself.... our friend like you tried really had to get her to wear clothes, but was tearing her hair out with the stress of it (which no doubt you are too:()

she was advised to ignore the behaviour & change the subject, which of course was very hard to do, but she did & it did seem to work in her DDs case & her DD soon stopped it....though for a while moved onto refusing to eat & drinking only milk instead, so again had her Mum tearing her hair out, but like I said, the same girl is a bright happy Teen now,

has there been any changes in your circumstances that might make your DD feel insecure & therefore trigger this as attention seeking behaviour??, if so that might be th root cause & a combination of more 1-1 "Mummy" time & reassurance along with ignoring the Clothing issues might help her get past it

She won't wear pants? Bless you I can see why you are at your wits end. I find it bad enough with ds in the morning. He also hates collars, jumpers with hoods, anything too close to the skin around his neck, but I try and ignore him and say well this is the uniform ds! If you encourage her with the pants whathappens? I mean if you be really firm and say that's it you're going to have to wear pants, socks jumper etc would she freak out?

Have you mentioned to gp or HV? I can see how day to day it must be hardwork. Much sympathy chick

I wouldn't wear tights or trousers when I was very young, I can remember it depressing me not being able to wear what the other kids did, your poor dd, it's hard on you both, I hope things get better, I would consider getting some help from a professional.

Of course it is possible that this is behavioural but it is also possible that she is hypersensitive to sensory input. This is sometimes known as sensory modulation disorder and can be very unpleasant for the child. Did she struggle with new textures in her mouth when weaning? Has she shown discomfort when having her hair brushed or when being dried after a bath?

She has had a few ups and downs as I got divorced from her Dad last year and we moved away. I have wondered how much it is attention seeking and there might be an element of that but there is no doubt she genuinely finds lots of things unbearable.

I have gone through phases where I have insisted for a few weeks on something - e.g. knickers. Huge fights to get them on her, then she would stuff them up her bum to make a wedgie and walk around all day trying to hold them in some way that was comfortable in her world of weirdness, and by the evening I would find that they had disappeared, as if by magic. I used to find them balled up and stuffed behind the toilet, in plant pots etc. She insists on wearing her swimming costume wedgie-style too

Laughing out loud as I write this, but it does drive me up the wall

Bizarrely she seems unusually insensitive to things like having her hair brushed, a low pain threshold if anything (certainly compared with her sister). Its a bit like the insensitivity to cold I guess. I am starting to think I should get some professional advice, not least as she is getting to age where not looking weird becomes more important.

It is probably worth getting her assessed by an Occupational Therapist with knowledge about sensory integration theories. They will be able to go through all the issues and advise. It may also be worth getting a copy of a book called "raising a sensory smart child' by lindsey biel, there are lots of books on the topic but I find this one most practical for home based ideas.

I suppose the biggest indicator of if this is behavioural or has some underlying sensory issue is whether there have always been these kinds of issues or if they started at a time of disruption in her life.

If the knicker and swimming costume wedgie is a problem try cycling shorts, they have a more forgiving pantie line!

Thanks for the suggestion Jollyma - I will speak to her school nurse in the first instance I think - and we did try some shorts instead of pants but that was just as bad. I have cupboards full of unworn clothes for her.

Seashore - do you still have problems with clothes now? - did the sensitivity go away or have you just learned how to deal with it? I never think about clothes from a comfort point of view once they are on so it is all very baffling to me

Have just looked up sensory processing disorder, and I am going to try and get her an assessment. Thanks for the idea.

I have a fussy DD with some issues of certain clothing - fortunately not as extreme as your DD though.

We have an agreement that DD (also 4) chooses her clothes one day & I choose the next. Worked very well (no buttons though) & now has essentially been forgotten.

She is also now wearing school uniform with no problems - thank goodness !

One of the reasons she doesn't mind hair brushing and isn't especially pain sensitive could be that light touch is the aspect of sensory input that she cant process effectively. If you walk past her and accidentally brush her skin lightly does she pull away sharply? Loose clothes are often too 'tickly' for kids who are over sensitive in this way.

Hmmm - That sounds very possible. She certainly prefers a big bear hug to anything gentler. Jollyma - Do you have any professional or personal knowledge of this problem? I am just wondering how likely it will be that I will be able to get anyone to take this seriously and whether there are many therapists that would be familiar and experienced in dealing with it.

I am an Occupational Therapist but my knowledge of childrens sensory issues is limited. It may be worth speaking to the SENCo at your dd's school, she should know how to refer to your local service. Some will accept parent referals others need it to come from your GP. If you print the information you saw on the internet to give to her because you might find the SENCo doesn't know much about it (some do but others dont). Some childrens services offer a comprehensive sensory integration service but others will only give general advice (proper SI treatment is very time intensive and requires training and therefore isn't widely available on the NHS in some areas).

When you ask for her to be assessed focus on how this issue affects her function in daily life. Eg, independent dressing skills, toiletting, play, feeding, etc. Also have a meeting with her teacher and see how she is affected at school, any information you get could be useful for putting on the referral.

Google Sensory Processing Disorder.

If you think it is this you could go to a sensory trained OT for sensory integration training.

I was about to mention OT sensory assesment. Ds (who has SPD as part of his ASD) finds clothes difficult, and when younger seemed unaware of cold or pain. He became better balanced sensorily as he matured but after seeing a sensory trained OT things have improved further. He has a sensory diet - a program of daily play/exersises for want of a better phrase tailored to his needs. He is still fussy about clothes (cotton jersey or nowt) but at least he will wear them!

Thanks so much for the good ideas - I have been waiting for this to go away but think it may be time to change tack and get some help.

My DS has had a real issue with clothes in the past and general touching issues. He's off to see an OT in a couple of weeks and after completing a questionnaire for the OT prior to the meeting it was sooooo reassuring to see questions like... Does your child prefer long sleeves/trousers, Does your child not tolerate hair washing.
What I mean is, you think it's nothing and then you find out you're not imagining it.
Our SENCO organised this for us, for a couple of other reasons. I am so looking forward to seeing what the OT says.
Good luck in your pursuit!

just to say you are lucky an OT turned up on this thread and I was also thinking this could well be a sensory thing. kids with autism tend to have sensory problems but kids with sensory problems need not have any autistic traits!

my kids have sensory problems about their hearing - think nail on blackboard and you'll understand their dislike of some noises. But they're fine with things like fireworks.

although she doesn't have other SN, you'll find lots of info from the SN community. Some kids sleep in weighted blankets, for instance. And lots of people recommend deep pressure stroking - hope you can find that OT.

sorry, meant to add that there is a relationship between the original biological problem and the psychological reactions that you have to being forced to do what's painful/uncomfy for you.

So my son still lived in fear of hand-driers long after I suspected he'd outgrown his main sensory issues because it had developed into a genuine phobia.

Good luck with getting to the bottom of it mumyella for both you & your DDs sake, ruling any sensory issues out (or not as the case may be) will put your mind at rest & help you know how to deal with it correctly either way, which can only be a good thing.

& not to belittle the sensory issues ideas, health problems mean I suffer myself so DO really feel for any DCs dealing with this & never having known any better,

I can add from personal experience though, that sensory overload feeling can be made worse by stress, so that might still be worth thinking about

& also I DO remember my own DD having issues with clothing etc at the same age, tights, socks, underwear & some fabrics were a nightmare...though not as bad as you describe, or our friend went through with her own DD...& she DID grow out of it too

I don't rule out that stress might contribute - she isn't the most easy-going type. Also although it is always a problem it seems to loom larger some times than others and that seems to suggest some psychological aspect to it - In some ways it is easier for me to think of it as purely physical - but that can't really be the case . Thanks for your input.

My daughter seems to have this....what ever it is!!!Im at the end of my teather,thismorning it got to the point i was late for work as i could not get her to wear anything atall.I had someone say take her out in her pyjamas but now thisam thay even tickle apparently!I just sat on her floor crying my eyes out,i cannot deal with it,ive chucked out 5 bags of clothes,shes down to leggings and some long sleeved tops,most of which she wudnt wear thisam despite being fine before.Its even the same with coats,shes worn them millions of times.My husband wants to take her to the doctors tomorrow as we thinking she has some kind of mental phobia or something,we dont know what to do,its pulling the family apart as she has 3 older brothers,all our time is taken up with her...please help someone!