Is this normal behaviour for a 5 year old?

[fannyfoghorn]

DS1, just turned 5, has started threatening to kill himself if he doiesn't get his own way eg threatening to run in front of a car or hold his breath until he dies. He is otherwise a happy child but very dramatic and pretty bright (could read aged 2.5). Our family life is happy. He has epilepsy but it is under control and it is not a problem for him. I find it very upsetting as several members of my family tried to commit suicide (including me when I was much younger) due to a hideously abusive childhood. Obviously he doesn't know any of this. What should I do? I've been taking the tack of saying, 'What a silly thing to do and all over not wanting any dinner!' etc.
Any advice?

This is such a hard thread to try & advise. I'm trying to think what I would do if one day my son said this sort of stuff.

I think I would more or less do the same as you although I wonder where he's picked that up at 5, what it means to kill yourself & use it as a way to manipulate. It definitely sounds like you've protected him from learning about your past. I'm sorry to hear you went through that.

I think I would try the same as you if it were me. I would tell him he's being silly, that it would make mummy very sad if he did that, I might even try the old "father christmas watches all year round and he can see the things you're saying now." I'd definitely exercise concern but I wouldn't ask for medical or psych opinions unless he actually did something to act on the threats. But that's just me.

All the best. x

I agree with Little Beth, given what you have said about him saying dramatic things to try and get his own way. I would add that it might be an idea to help him express his emotions verbally and letting him see that you understand how he feels. The book "How to talk so children will Listen.." is really useful for this.

I can see why this is really hard for you. I have depression in my family, and my son expresses himself in quite a dramatic way (he's older than yours). In his case, though, he was having problems at school which were really making him feel very down, so even though I didn't necessarily believe he would act on what he said, I recognised the depth of feelings he was having, and did seek help for him.

I'm saying this, not to worry you - your situation sounds different, but to say - try not to let your fear make you want to reject any of his bad feelings.

God that sounded a bit sanctimonious - I hope you take it in the way it was meant

Thanks ladies. I think letting him say how he feels is an excellent point. Both times recently that he said it I was really telling him off about something. Maybe he felt that it was the only way he could make me stop. I will try to deal with things differently so that he feels there is room for his point of view too. He is a really lovely boy, just very dramatic at times!