6 yr old DS still not swimming

[CoonRapids]

Hi - 6 yo DS is still not able to swim without floatation aids despite 2.5 years of lessons, in 3 different places. He's always been a reluctant swimmer to say the least.

He chugs along in the lessons with floats and seems to be getting more confident.

But when will it 'click' and any tips for encouraging it to happen soon!! It just seems like he'll never swim!

I've tried taking him and 4 yo DD (who likes the water) at the weekend but we end up only going in the shallow pool, to avoid them being out of depth and it's too busy and full of tinies for him to do any kicking.

Am I being impatient? Just worried in advance about year 3 and the rest of his peers who are swimming at least 25 metres etc. etc.

I would look into one to one swimming lessons. More money but I think he would make much better progress in the long run.

Thanks, may look into that but it's tricky to coordinate what with the other 2 dcs and working. They have inter-house swimming galas at the juniors - ahhh! Not till summer 2012 I suppose and he'll be just 8 by then (my baby, 8!)

I was in same position with my DS6- private didnt work as he spend all time "negotiating" with the teacher, and being cute he got away with murder, and learned.....not a lot.

So back to local swimming pool, where he stayed put in the same group for ..ages!!

Now whether he got fed up with children moving on and him staying behind, or whether it actually clicked I dont know..but he suddenly "got"it and is progressing now.

So it wil happen, persevere with it, make him enjoy it and really dont worry.

Hi, CoonRapids. Will your ds put his face in the water when he swims? I found neither of my dss made any progress with swimming until they could do that - then they rapidly learnt that they could stay afloat without floats to help when they swam on their fronts and ceased to have an over-the-top fear of sinking (which, frankly, is going to prevent anyone from learning to swim). Once you've got rid of the floats, it is much easier to learn to swim, because you've got nothing getting in the way of moving your arms and legs appropriately. Next issue is learning to breathe and swim, so that you don't have to keep stopping to take a breath!!!!!

ie judging by my experience (2 years of no progress whatsoever prior to face going in water...), I don't think much progress will be made until your ds starts trying to swim without bouyancy aids.

Thanks for your messages! He can just about float on his back for a little bit without floats. And I nearly got him kicking his legs whilst floating on his back. But that was when we happened upon an empty swimming pool during the Christmas big freeze. So it was nice and calm with lots of space. When he's on his front going along with the floats in his lesson, he dips his nose in and out of the water. He wouldn't put his head completely under! It may look like he's swimming when he's got his floats but take them away and he can't do much!

I couldn't swim until I was about 13. I absolutely loathed water, loathed having my face or head wet, loathed being cold and clammy, loathed being splashed and basically didn't like anything much about it. It's certainly not ideal and I'm not a wonderful swimmer now but I am no worse than many other adults and could certainly swim ten or twenty lengths without any trouble, despite being rather unfit.

BTW, I had private lessons for years and it didn't help a bit. I hope your DS gets the hang of it soon, but honestly if he doesn't it absolutely isn't the end of the world (and I do remember finding my mother's stress about it rather stressful myself).

Whole face in and staying in the water was necessary in this family for successful swimming without floats! I think Horton sums up why that was the case quite well - it is the fear and dislike of the water that stops you learning to swim, and being willing to shove your whole face in the water is a sign you've overcome that fear and discomfort sufficiently to take the risk of sinking when you attempt to swim! Also, it's easier to find a good position for the body to float in if you are face down in the water - so you don't need to make so much effort to keep yourself on the surface as you would if you had head up and legs down. ie less effort required as you learn the swimming strokes.

Ironically, I've always loved the water and loved swimming, but I don't like swimming with my face in the water when I'm swimming for enjoyment! I find watching my dss stick their faces in the water to swim quite freakish, but they went from not swimming at all to swimming without floats within a lesson after learning to put their faces down as they swam. I'm hoping, once they are confident enough swimmers, they'll also learn they can swim with faces up!

We were in EXACTLY the same position a few months back - we were getting worried because ds2 (now almost 7) was getting so tall, the learner section (beach pool) was too shallow for him. Then in just the last few weeks, something clicked he got his confidence and got his 5m badge, moved up a class and really got the hang of it.

Ds1 was the same, spent ages in the beginners, suddenly clicked, was in and out of the next class up within 6 weeks before being moved up again.

He'll get there :)

(Oh and re: worrying about Year 3 kids/peer group. Ds1 did swimming at school in years 3 & 4 and was in the top teaching group despite the fact that he couldn't swim 25 metres - very few children in his class could. Ds1 got his 25 metre badge a month ago, and he's Year 5).

Does he wear goggles? It makes a HUGE difference - when DD wore them she was happy to put her face in and now swims brilliantly
I take years 3-6 swimming and there are still lots of non swimmers so I wouldn't worry about the school thing.

Thanks everyone. Think I need to relax a bit, as ever, and avoid stressing him out. Will try to take him on his own so we can go in the bigger pool without his little sister. Rubberduck - you're right, the learner pool did suddenly seem too shallow for him and his sister wanted to be in the very shallowest bit which didn't help because then they started arguing .

Rabbitstew - that makes sense about the putting face in the water being the key step. Also glad to hear that I don't need to panic about him being the only non-swimmer at juniors.

We have some of those aqua sphere goggles which he says are uncomfortable but they are probably fine.

DD1 is coming to the end of her group of swimming lessons - and we have to decide whether to rebook for her to keep going.

She is only 4 and clearly the struggler of the group! She wears prescription goggles but still won't put her face in the water - however, she loves going and does want to continue.

Can I just ask, OP, if your DS has been going for so long - do other children move into different groups and new ones join the beginners group? All the other children seem much better than DD and several can make it from one end of the baby pool to the other - and this is meant to be the beginner's group. Is it possible that other 'real' beginners will join in the next round?

Sorry to hijack!

Hi, Dysgu. My ds1 was in the beginner's group for nearly 2 years (ie until he put his face in the water...). He got to meet all sorts of new, real beginners - they just weren't real beginners for as long as he was! Since he appeared to enjoy it and it was the only way of guaranteeing he went swimming regularly, we kept going with it and met with success in the end! I still remember the day his face went into the water and he swam the width of the pool! And they really did both happen together in the same lesson.

consider getting him into a swimming club that does lessons. My DS2 was the same - languishing in the baby pool for years, getting nowhere. Then we moved into a swimming club - (ds1 is a swimmer) and in the first week, they moved him up. AFter 2 more weeks, they moved him up again. Now, 2 years later, he is in top level and swimming lengths in the big pool.

I found the quality of teaching very high, and plus they have vested interest in getting the kids swimming - for the club - not just in the baby pool for ever more.

They were proactive about correcting basic mistakes - ds2 would nt kick, so thy made him wear flippers - he could not do his bicycle legs in flipers, sp made real progress using fippers.

Cost wise, we pay c. £100 a term, so £300 a year. Our local sport centre charges £23.50 per month, so £284 a year....so charges very similar.

It's a confidence issue, I think. What worked with my niece and nephew was a concentrated amount of swimming on holiday. It seemed that about half an hour a day with one of the adults without aids + lots of other pool time with the other kids worked, and dn was v nervous. I realise that this may not be possible for you to do, but do think it's the intensity that helps, ie every day for a week will work better than once a week for a longer period. As it's half term soon it might be worth trying this out at the local pool? Ours does intensive week courses in the half term-half an hour a day for £15 total.

DD went through 3 pairs of different goggles before we found some that worked for her - but irt was worth it. She also benefitted from a crash course of swimming every day in the half term hols x

Hi Haffifattner - he is now at a swimming club actually and you're right, it's good. He's on his 3rd different place for swimming lessons!!!

The 2nd place was the worst at the local sports centre. They had poor morale amongst the people teaching, frequent absences and we finally stopped the week the teacher told to stand in the corner for ages just 'blowing bubbles' and getting cold.

That week he came out crying and we didn't go back there.

The teacher he has now at the swimming club is actually brilliant . So I have hope. You know how some people are natural teachers and a joy to watch. It's not a learner pool, the learner pool is just when we go ourselves.

Thanks BellsaRing - may try over half term but tricky as I'm working and have the other 2 younger ones. The intensive courses are good, he did one at the swimming club prior to starting his Sat lessons there in Sept.

Actually, DD(4) goes to lessons in place no. 4 - a different leisure centre which is working out well too. She's lucky because not being at school yet, she goes during the week and has a group of only 4! She loves it, toddles in on her own, no problem. They are so different.

Dysgu I think as long as she loves going, you're half way there. And if you can see the teacher is good then it will be fine given time. I've kept going with DS's lessons because it's been the way of ensuring he swims regularly. We don't have a pool within wallking distance and I find it logistically challenging to get to go swimming with him regularly.

As DS has been to 3 different he hasn't been in the same bottom group for too long in any one place. But yes, sometimes children have moved up and others joined him. In the current beginner group, the other children are all 4 or 5 to his 6.5 but he doesn't seem to have noticed that .

Millimat - I've spent a fortune on goggles!

Some children, whatever you do, they take their time and do everything on their own terms... Ds1 spent 6 years being taken swimming regularly - for fun, private lessons, group lessons, intensive week-long lessons, swimming on holiday, before he put his face in the water and started to learn to swim. For ds2, the catalyst of a week's swimming every day for fun on holiday was enough to get him going (thankfully) - or at least, probably that plus his big brother having done it.

my DD didnt start learning til she was 5 as she didnt like it at all so one summer got extra sitters/take in turn at friends house with other kids and went one on one with her and just had fun we didnt practice one swimming technique at all. By the end of summer she would jump in, put her head under water (goggles on) and dive to pick toys up!!

Just concentrate on it being fun and no pressure and it'll click. My DD started the lessons just after the summer and 6 months later still wasnt getting far even though she now loved it and then in a space of 3 lessons she got her 5 metre badge and 10 metre on her back. But she stills finds it hard and others have moved up quicker than her but she loves going so she'll get there in her own time.

Good to read that it comes in time! I think I am going to rebook on the priority line and keep going with DD1's lessons then.

She seems to be the littlest - and I think the youngest - in the class. She can touch the bottom in the pool, but they had topped it up last week and the 'deep' end was funnily deep for her! It is also funny when they all line up holding the edge of the pool as her feet line up with most of the other kids' knees!

She does love going though so that is why we keep it up, really.

It is interesting to read that several people change goggles until you find a pair that work for your child. Another parent was telling me that last week, but DD1 wears prescription goggles (at a cost of £35) although they are only about 2/3 of her prescription and she has recently been saying they make it dark to see!

Again, sorry to hijack, but does anyone have success stories of any specific prescription goggles brand?

Dysgu - I wonder whether I should get prescription goggles for DH. That's his excuse for not going swimming with them! £35 is expensive! Rabbitstew - yep DS tends to do alot of things 'on his own terms'. That sums him up quite well...