My 19 month DD just won't eat!

[MaybeTomorrow]

Hi all,

I've always struggled with DD's weight. She dropped from 50th to 2nd centile and now hovers around the 2nd. At her 1year check the hv wasn't worried as she was healthy. She is naturally small and takes after DH's family. Sil is 5ft and mil was also 5ft.

So she's become a nightmare with her food. Today she's had half a crumpet and about 3 chips. She'll go through stages of eating a normal for a few days and then hardly anything for a few days.

But if she has nothing else, she may likely be up in the night. Should we offer her something else as she wouldn't eat her tea or just leave it for tonight? She is teething at the moment so I guess that may have something to do with it. She's also drinking her usual morning and bedtime milk ok.

Shall I just stop worrying?

Bump

Thanks for posting.

It is stressful but it doesn't help when my DD is always compared to other babies in the family who eat loads!

My 20m DS was a real worry in his poor eating habits, and he still can be full of nonsense at home: but at nursery (goes 1 day a week at moment) they report back to me every time that he ate well (they even told me that he ate a plate of pasta with a fork last week, which is very hard to believe, if he was at home and I gave him such a thing he would just chuck it on the floor). I think there might be something about watching the others eat when he is at nursery?

My 20m DS was a real worry in his poor eating habits, and he still can be full of nonsense at home: but at nursery (goes 1 day a week at moment) they report back to me every time that he ate well (they even told me that he ate a plate of pasta with a fork last week, which is very hard to believe, if he was at home and I gave him such a thing he would just chuck it on the floor). I think there might be something about watching the others eat when he is at nursery?

Rather than look at what she eats in a day, look at over the week. She probably eats more than you think. As long as she's energetic, not losing weight I'd say don't worry. She's just a fresh air kid and many kids go through the same phase. Give her little snacks during the day rather than big meals if you're worried.

I know its really hard not to worry, my son goes through these phases. He's BIG though, he's only 2.4 but easily the size of a 3-4 year old very tall like his dad so you would think he'd get really hungry!

We go through phases of him just not wanting to eat at all, he'll refuse everything we put in front of him and just not seem to have any appetite. When he's like this, and loads of mums will disagree with me on this, I tend to just let him snack so I'll chop up cubes of cheese, cucumber, crackers, grapes (good for teething if you keep them in the fridge) etc and put them on a plate in the living room or wherever he's playing. He usually will eat them over the course of a morning so at least I know he's getting something.

Hes going through a fab phase at the moment and will sit at the table and eat meat veg, pasta etc. He ate home made crab cakes last night!! whilst he's happy to sit and eat at the table we encourage him but when he's in one of his moods where he's throwing himself all over the floor and pushing his plate away I just calmly get him down from the table and let him go play.

I KNOW how hard it is to see them not eat, but I know that I stress far too much about it so I am trying to chill out about it. You daughter wont starve herself, give her some healthy snacky stuff and see if she'll take it

Sending lots of support! I know its hard
Good luck

Thank you all so much for your lovely posts. She has dine much better today. She had half a bowl of porridge and a quarter piece of toast for breakfast. Then shed had some bread and scrambled egg for lunch and then had some mashed potato, Swede, carrot, peas, broccoli and gravy. She doesn't tend to eat any roast meat, not sure how to encourage that...

Apparently she does eat much better when she is with others, typically. We had been eating in the living room aswell because our dining room is so cold, but we had dinner in there tonight and she ate well so we will continue to eat in there.

I like the idea of leaving snacks around, but unfortunately we have two labradors who would love it even more! Lol.

Thank you so much again. X

I guess the best thing you can do is to worry less and not let the eating develop into an issue. No child will starve themselves to death.
My DS was born 11pound9. Within about nine months his weight had dropped to about the 25th centile, he just wouldn't eat any solids, only took breast milk. I was worried, and meal times were a nightmare. Now, seven years on, he is very tall, but still very skinny, and still a poor eater. Now with hindsight, I wish I had stressed myself and him less with my worries, and just accepted him the way he was.
Don't let other mums stress you out with stories about how much their kids eat and how far up the weight centile they are.

Hi bookcase,

That makes perfect sense to me. I guess my main worry is that I'm always paranoid that HVs will think that there is a problem which is why I panic. I haven't had her weighed for 7 months in case she's lost weight. Having said that they weighed her before an op she had on her eye at Xmas and even though she was slightly below the 2nd centile, she had still gained weight.

She's just started walking aswell and is always on the go so she's definitely got enough energy!

Thank you. X

I strongly believe that it matters far less how much a child eats in a day than the way they grow upo feeling about food. If they're at the dinner table with the family, eating the same (or given the same) as everyone else, and there's chat about everyone's day etc they'll learn that this is the norm and that dinner time is a possitive time.

It must be really difficult not to worry but LOs do pick up on your anxieties and if you try and turn that round now, I reckon you'll be pleased that you did in years to come. She's healthy and growing and she'll be fine. I would literally give her her dinner, chat about other things and when she's finished take it away. Don't give her loads of encouragement to eat up as this could make an issue around food. Think it's a good idea to give her banana or cereal etc just before bed if she's waking in the night.

Good luck!

I just wanted to say my DD is 22 months and I could have written your OP, she's also 2nd centile, although no one else in her family is small.

I think the best advice I've been given is just not to worry or fuss about it. I keep thinking that it's my job to put it in front of her, it's her job to eat it. I can't eat it for her and she will not starve herself into trouble. Hope not anyway!!

Good luck with yours!

medoitmama (love the name by the way ) and gettingtogrips, thank you both so much for your posts.

I know that you are absolutely right. There is nothing I can do to 'make' her eat and so I know deep down that it will cause more harm if that is the case. So I really need to chill about it. I did notice a massive difference aswell last night when we had dinner at the table again after a few months of eating in the lounge.

Just interested though gettingtogrips, do you find that your DD never tells you that she's hungry? My DD never asks for food (although she's not talking yet...) and it gets to snack and mealtimes and I just offer it and she has this gorgeous thing where she opens her mouth really wide with excitement so I know that she'd like something. But if I didn't offer something, I really don't think she'd be bothered and just carry on playing! She clearly doesn't take after me in that respect!

I was very very skinny (actually slim - I don't like the word skinny...) as a child so I'm guessing that she gets her build from me. It definitely runs in our family as my brother is 6ft 4 but with a 28" waist - he looks like a beanpole! So she has my family's build and DH's family's height (tiny). Lucky thing!

So, time for me to chill out and just let her get on with it.

Thank you all!! xx

I have lots to post, but have to run. First relax, let her eat what she wants when she wants to build her appetite....

Looking forward to reading your post ThePosieParker, thank you in advance!

Hello,

My DN had huge issues with food, his came from a viral tummy upset when he was a baby and so he associated food with tummy pain. At nearly four my DS had enough and called in a child psychologist. She advised allowing him to eat what he wanted and when he wanted it. Feed him up with food he loves, and then appetite will follow. when he's used to food he'll start trying new things, so no fuss or praise or encouragement that's OTT. Smiles and well done are good, reward charts are making too much of it.

Oh I can sympathise, my ds who is now 8 was a terrible eater at this age, he has a cousin teh exact same age who would devour what ever was put in front of her whilst my ds would obstibnatley refuse every mouthful. We tried doing aeroplanes, singing to him, getting cross, ignoring it, offering nothing, offering bread/cheese......it was a total nightmare and caused no end of rows between my and dh.

Ds did improve, gradually, and granted is still not the best eater in the world, and some family meals have to be slightly modified for him to eat, but all in all he is not as bad as some kids.

I am not sure what worked, but what I did learn if I were to go through it again is that eventually it got better and it wasn't really worth all the stress and hassle. If she is healthy and happy she will not starve herself, just make sure what she does eat is not rubbish.

Good luck!

Yes also my ds never whinged with hunger, ever, I could have forgotten dinner and he would not have bat an eyelid.....

Sorry, I lost my place. No, she never directly asks for food. She's a thumb sucker and when she gets hungry I've noticed that she sucks her thumb more and then if she sees food she will ask for it then.

But if she's distracted and involved in something then she seems to forget to feel hungry. Wish I had the same 'problem'!

Sorry, haven't read all the thread as I'm at work but your OP brought back memories of my DD1 who wasn't even hungry as a tiny baby - she was a nightmare to bf and didn't seem to like milk!

I found that letting her choose what to eat worked quite well. If she was allowed to help herself from a few bowls of salad (her favourite) she ate far more than I expected.

She never liked meat or most cooked foods and turned her nose up at typical kid's food - burgers, fish fingers and the like.

Once she started nursery her appetite improved and she loved eating with the other children. Likewise school meals.

She's a mum herself now, still has a small appetite and will always be slim.

It's very difficult not to stress but I found that if I didn't make a fuss at all, positive or otherwise, mealtimes were far easier.

OP - My 19m DD is going through a similar phase at the moment so I know where you're coming from(for a minute when I saw the title of your thread I thought I'd done it myself and forgotten!)

We've just had a nightmare trip to the in-laws where she barely ate anything most of the time (other than yoghurt, fruit, cheese and other people's toast).

She used to love all sorts of stuff - bolognese, casseroles, shepherd's pie, pasta with sauce etc. but is now reducing me to tears some days. I keep being told by my parents etc. that she'll get over it and that I should relax...easier said than done eh? . Other than that she seems fine, loads of energy, sleeping well, not long been walking.

Does she drink much milk? I always found friends whose children didnt eat much drank alot of milk. Remember they only have small tummys and milk fills them up..just an idea.