Almost-2yo dd won't eat at home

[fififlores]

My dd, 23mths, used to be good eater - would have same as ds, 4yo. Now she refuses everything I offer her, except biscuits and petit suisses.

She goes to nursery in the mornings, and always eats all of her lunch. She also eats well at mil's (one or two meals a week).

Nursery and mil both give her puree still - she'll move onto proper food soon - so while I'd rather not prepare two different meals, I have even resorted to making her the purees I used to make when she was younger. She won't touch them, nor even mil's puree, when I try to give it to her here (prob ate it all up at mil's).

Any suggestions - I know I shouldn't get annoyed with her, but should I try and convince her to eat, or just ignore her and wait for her to do it in her own time? Should I offer an alternative? If she asks for biscuits when she hasn't eaten anything else, should I let her have them rather than going hungry?

As I remember, ds was same at this age. But she's getting into terrible twos - screaming, "NO!", "I want", throwing things etc. Patience wearing thin, advice appreciated.

If she's still eating at nursery and MIL's it's probably because they don't have the same emotional reaction to her eating that you do.

You need to take a step back and look at how you respond to her not eating. My guess is that she gets something from it with you that she doesn't get with them.

If she asks for biscuits because she's hungry offer her a healthier alternative. If she tantrums walk away and focus your attention on something else.

Making eating an enjoyable social activity that she can join in with if she chooses to. If she doesn't want to eat that's fine. Let her go away but the attention stays at the table.

Try not to ever let her see you getting wound up and don't try to persuade her to eat.

The more she gets by tantruming, screaming, throwing things, the more she will do it. Try to ignore the bad behaviour but pounce on the good and reward it with attention and praise.

If she's eating at nursery and MIL's you know she's getting some decent meals so stop worrying about what she's getting at home unless she loses weight.

OK, thanks, that sounds sensible. I usually do let her walk away from the table, although it goes against all my instincts for her to stay until she's finished, as I had to (is that old-fashioned?)

Re the sociable thing, it's usually me and her brother, as table too small for more, and husband doesn't have the patience.

She often refuses to eat her food, adn asks for some of mine - at lunch time, wholemeal bagel with houmous - I make sure I'm eating something healthy when she's around, in case she does this!

I will not get annoyed, I will praise.

I will KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!!!!

stop pandering to her with purees and buscuits.give her normal healthy food and if she doesn't eat it,just let her leave it and don't mention it. Don't offer a food replacement and if she says shes hungry just give her the main meal that was on offer a second time.

I don't think it's at all old-fashioned to expect children to sit at the table until the meal is over. I expect mine to do the same but they're older and are no longer trying to make food an issue.

You just need to pick your battles when this happens and give her the message that she won't wind you up or get attention by not eating.

One good tactic is to put empty plates in front of everyone and the food in the middle. Each person then asks for what they would like. If she doesn't choose anything smile sweetly and chat happily to your son (through gritted teeth). Then if she decides to have something be really really pleased. That ensures that she gets positive attention for eating and non for refusing.

I should get a toddler who wants to pinch my food too. That would help me to eat more healthily. We could call it the Terrible Twos Diet!