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Original poster

I can't stop crying, please can anyone talk to me?

17 replies

MuddyMessyMuddle · 21/01/2011 16:14

DS (5) had a big tantrum in the playground and on the way home after school, shouting, screaming, running away, biting me, and everyone was staring. In the playground the Headteacher was watching. I couldn't calm him down and it was a struggle just to get him home. When we got home I sat down and just started crying. I keep crying and feel like I've given up.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 21/01/2011 16:17

Poor you Sad.

What started it off? Sometimes kids do throw a wobbly. Is he usually better behaved?

Have a cup of tea, calm down and when he is also calm, talk to him about what happened.

monkeyflippers · 21/01/2011 16:18

I feel your pain! That must have been horrible!

Is he usually like this or is it new?

kayah · 21/01/2011 16:18

Is end of the week, kids are tired.
was his sleeep good this wee gone?

travellingwilbury · 21/01/2011 16:19

How are you (and him) now ?
What yr is he in ?
I know by friday a lot of the children have had enough and the slightest thing can set them off .

travellingwilbury · 21/01/2011 16:20

And please don't worry about everyone looking . I guarantee they will all have just been glad it wasn't one of their children (this time)

ziggiz · 21/01/2011 16:22

All I can say is that any normal human being will have seen you and wished they could help as many have been there and many more dread it happening to them.

Children find it so hard to express how they feel in words. This was possibly the only way your DS could and needed to there and then. Try giving him a hug and talking about what happened - it might be quite revealing, if not on this occassion then eventually though I hope there any are few and far apart. We mums have to live in hope. Smile

This is the awful bit we forget and the books conveniently gloss over when we think about having a family. If we didn't there would be fewer children every year/decade! I know how you feel. Not that that is of any help.

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 21/01/2011 16:23

I have seen children having tantrums in the playground at pick-up time and to be honest I wouldn't even remember which child it was.
You just think 'child tired/possibly going down with something'.

specialsmasher · 21/01/2011 16:24

My 3-yr-old made me cry today with her abominable and embarrassing behaviour. You're not alone!

ppeatfruit · 21/01/2011 16:27

As a teacher i know that often in school a great deal is expected of some DCs esp. boys at age 5 when they are not mentally equiped to deal with it. I'd talk to the school.

NightLark · 21/01/2011 16:31

Poor you - much sympathy.

My DS (4.10) has just started school and had a humdinger of a tantrum when I dropped him off on day 3, including kicking and winding his new teacher. Great start.

I was in bits, couldn't stop the tears all the way home. No-one has said a thing, or seems to think any worse of either of us, these things do pass.

Be nice to yourself, and don't try to make it all better - sometimes you just have to give them a bit of space.

ppeatfruit · 21/01/2011 16:33

What i mean is they are sometimes not mature enough to cope with the expectations of some teachers T.As etc. They have to "let Go" when they get out. It's not yr fault Smile

Original poster
MuddyMessyMuddle · 21/01/2011 16:35

Thank you all for posting and saying kind things. DS has calmed down and I am not as bad as earlier.

He was happy when he came out of the classroom (Y1) because he had a lollipop from his friend whose birthday it is. The first thing he got a bit cross about was that he couldn't understand that although it was his friend's birthday today, his party isn't til Sunday and DS didn't want to wait until Sunday to go to the party.

Then he ran off into different areas of the playground and wouldn't come with me and DD to walk home. We both tried to get him to come with us, in a gentle way, tried to be funny etc, and when that didn't work I got more stern. In the end I had to make him hold my hand because I'd lost patience with him running off again and again as we were trying to get out of the playground. I ended up chasing him and grabbing at him and looking like an idiot!

Then he got really angry that he had to hold my hand and the shouting, screaming and biting started, and carried on all the way home.

It seems like those are the reasons he was angry but I think it is also to do with other things. The last few days he has come out of the classroom not looking his usual happy self and he has told DD that an older girl has been hitting him. It is difficult to get him to talk about it.

I just managed to get a bit more out of him when I went away from MN just now. I now have her name and her class, and know who else she hit today. DS said he told his teacher today (he hadn't told her the other days) and that his teacher told the girl off. If it carries on I think I'll have to go in and talk to his teacher.

OP posts:
Davsmum · 21/01/2011 16:39

Everyone feels overwhelmed at some time - Take no notice about who saw what.
Just be concerned about yourself and your son and try to find out what had upset him.

Look after yourself

Original poster
MuddyMessyMuddle · 21/01/2011 16:44

Ppeatfruit - it may be that DS finds it harder than the other kids to behave and then 'lets rip' when he is with me. The school think there is something 'wrong' with him because they asked me to take him to the doctor and get him referred to a paediatrician. The school wrote a report on him to give the doctor and asked me to write notes as well. They mentioned a whole lot of things -
his fine motor skills,

speech and language,

difficulty taking turns in conversations and following 'rules of interaction',

being 'in his own world' and not doing what he has been asked until asked several times, eg if the whole class has been asked to do something and they all do it, he doesn't, and doesn't pick up on the fact that everyone else is doing it and he should be,

being oversensitive and getting upset quickly over minor things other children do,

not always wanting to mix in the playground but walking around in a world of his own.

The referral has been done but he hasn't had his first appointment with the pediatrician yet. Some days I think he is no different to other kids and they all have 'mad' moments, and other days I think there really is something wrong with him and he is hard work to cope with.

OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 21/01/2011 17:03

Muddy messsy There may be something wrong but IMO and E some boys of yr DS's age are unable to concentrate for long and dream; it's normal IMO.

EMS23 · 21/01/2011 19:52

Muddy - he sounds like my nephew... it was his hearing that was the problem. Have they checked it?

ppeatfruit · 23/01/2011 09:55

I had another thought muddy, have you noticed him 'playing up' after eating sugary things before? he could be intolerant to it.

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