Daughter has trouble making close friends at school

[planet1]

My daughter (6 years old) has trouble making close friends with her yr 1 class mates at primary school. She is sociable, and can happily chat and get on with all of her class mates, but at playtime she plays on her own because she is not invited into the other children's play, and because of this she now sits on her own and now does not make the effort to play with others, making things worse.
What can I do to help her? Change school?

Most of my DD's primary days were like this - and although I worried a bit, she seemed quite content and gradually began to make more friends - although even now part way through secondary her main friendship group is outside school.

Does your DD do anything extra like Rainbows/brownies dance/sport etc where she meet other children.

There's no guarantee that she'll make friends with those at school just because they are all at school together. As long as there's no exclusion of her from these games and it's her choice not to join in then there's little you can do except encourage playdates at home to increase her circle of friends.

You've described my DD to a tee. She had one really really close friend when she was four. We moved away from Thailand when she was six so lost that friendship. In Switzerland she would drift around on the edges and it has continued now we live in Antwerp.
I've tried all sorts including sleep overs and having other girls home for tea.
She is argumentative and combatative so we have had lots of chats about how she alienates herself.
I am hoping this problem will be resolved when we move back to England.

She does lots of clubs and activities, and gets on well with other children. But she gets lonely at school at playtime. She has a friend in her class but he is a boy so plays with the boys at playtime. She does not have many playdates after school.
My question is: Does this happen to many children and does it harm them? How worried should I be?

Also she did get excluded from games at playtime by the other children, which has caused her to avoid trying and just be on her own.

My son was a little like this. Slowly, as he grew older, he managed to build stronger relationships with the others. He is very quiet and reserved. Outside activities do help, as others have said.

My daughter was always Miss Extrovert. No problems with friends throughout primary. But she has just hit her first isshoos now, at year seven. Although she has lots of friends and is popular she doesn't have a particular group to belong to. I am sure it will settle down eventually.

Friendship problems do hit most children at some stage or another. :)

I'm sure it's nothing to worry about and she is fine, but if you do want to look for some advice this book The unwritten rules of friendship is really interesting. It sounds like she has a problem finding an opening to join in other people's play and this book has some suggestions about that depending on what kind of child she is.

Thanks for all of your advice! It has settled my mind.