Is there anthing I can do to sort out my 10 month old? It's all gone horribly wrong, suddenly, and I'm exhausted...

[designerbaby]

Hoping for some gems of Mumsnet wisdom, even if it turns out to be "this too shall pass" and "suck it up", which I suspect it might...

It's just that my wonderfully calm, smiley, and crucially, sleeping baby has turned into a screaming, thrashing, miserable banshee, I'm averaging about 3 hours sleep a night and I'm shattered.

There's a lot going on - I haven't the mental wherewithall at the moment to try and make links or figure out what to tackle first and how, so I shall bullet point it in no particular order:

• M slept through the night from 1 week old, I would wake her for a dream feed at 11ish and she would sleep through contentedly til morning. If she woke in the night she was able to put herself back to sleep. Bliss. (I take no credit for this, BTW - just the luck of the draw). She went to sleep independently, and only ocassionally fell asleep on the boob.

• She now wakes 4-5 times a night, and will only sleep again if she has a breast feed. Failure to oblige results in 1+hrs of screaming and thrashing. She's knackered, so often falls asleep on the boob at bedtime.

• Waking started on hoiday in SA for Christmas with the inlaws. They get very cross if woken in the night by screaming babies, so I would do whatever it took to quieten her quickly - usually with boob. 'Twas only a fortnight, though? Love my inlwas. Ahem.

• She's just started to crawl properly and pull herself up - which she does, a lot, in her cot in the wee small hours, often bashing her head. She gets very cross if you try and lay her, gently, back down to sleep. Wrestling often ensues. She wins.

• She's teething with her top two front teeth. Am dosing with Calpol when she seems like she's in pain.

• She has a cold.

• She's reluctant with solids in the day, but I'm getting a bit down her, by distraction and coersion. She has breast feeds mid morning, mid afternoon and at bedtime (plus all the blardy night feeds). She's very thrashy and cross at mealtimes. Up until a few weeks ago she ate well and happily, (if never in huge quantities).

• She doesn't take a bottle or a dummy - rejected both at about 8 weeks.

• I've been trying to settle her at nursery since the beginning of the year. She screams for the duration of her time there, which has, at the moment been a maximum of 2.5 hours. Usually only an hour at a time, before they call me to come back. I have to go back into work 3 days a week at the end of the month. I'm currently doing my 3 days a week from home, which, as she's not doing her days in nursery, I'm having to manage in the evenings and weekends. I'm shattered from going to bed late and have no quality time with DH or as a family at weekends.

• I had her checked at the GP. her ears are fine, and apart from the cold and teething she's in aparet good health.

I feel like a bloomin' first timer, when actually she's my second - but so different from my first. I'm too sleep deprived and demented to know where to start.

Right gotta get on with my 'day' job... Pretty please, can anyone help me untangle this mess?

Yawn...

db
xx

My opinions!

Food wise - give her food, if she doesn't eat it she'll be fine...milk will do.

Sleep - I think the holiday did it - only 2 weeks but my baby broke his habit in a weekend (stayed in a hotel and worried about him waking the other guests!)....Had to do the whole cry, pat leave room....go in 2 or 3 mins later and repeat for hours! Was better by day 3!

If you get the sleep sorted everything else will miraculously get better! (she's prob knackered at nursery too)

Good luck!

I could have written your post. Apart from the South African trip and the fact your baby USED to sleep.

DS (nearly 11 months) has always been a frequent waker, but now it's ridiculous. He will only settle with boob - we keep thinking we'll try a new approach, but he gets (another) cold and it feels mean to do anything when he's poorly. I work three days a week - I am a zombie.

So, I have no advice, but much sympathy. Hope it helps to know you are not alone.

I also feel bad doing any kind of sleep training when there are teeth coming through and a cold - but really, that's life for the next couple of years, isn't it? Will there ever be a window? I'm turning into a loonie... I feel ridiculus that I'm this clueless about what to do, but I think that's part of the sleep deprivation.

That said I'm quitting work for the night and going to bed... thanks for responses so far...

Gutted to think that our holiday wa at the route of it all, it was a pain in the bum from beginning to end tbh...

db
xx

Shameless bump!
Another night of

You could be talking about my dd...apart from the nursery everything is the same. She is 10 months, slept right through from beginning 7pm til 7am, breastfed, no dummy etc and was an absolute dream. Now , however, different baby. Cut all 4 front teeth but still cutting more.
Solids...she gets upset if i put her in highchair so i start by giving her something in hand first then i put her in. I don't feed her..i let her do babyled weaning so sometimes she prob eats very little but is in control of what she is doing. At night now, she has a cough and has gotten used to waking all the time. Also because she is moving more she is frustrated when in cot which makes it worse..plus i think she is hungrier to so more boob..no win situation
I have been known to bring her into bed, feed her boob and when i think she is taking the mick i make sure she is safe, then turn my back on her and go to sleep! She has quickly learned that i will not play in the night and she does fall asleep after about half hour...and i get some much needed sleep!! She is now only doing this every couple of nights so some progress.
i hope things resolve for you soon

Our 11 mth old DS has always woke once a night until he started teething & coupled with a cold started waking 4-5 times and not settling back down for over an hour. I empathise with you as sleep deprivation is an absolute nightmare. (And if you're at your wits end DD will pick up on it which might account for difficulties feeding etc. & she must be tired in day.)

After teeth cut through & cold was better he still continued to wake frequently - even BF wouldn't get him back to sleep for long. He would cry & cry until I picked him up then settle down only to start again once laid back down in cot - so I assumed it was now a habit he'd got in to.

Eventually we did the sleep traning thing - leaving him to cry for gradually longer periods (can be upsetting to do and tiring - but you're already awake!). After 3 nights of this he's now sleeping through (until next teeth come thro!).

We're all happier in day now we both more rested - so I'm with Hambo - I think breaking the sleep problem is the key.

And keep telling yourself - each 'stage' doesn't last for ever it really doesn't x