Am I Being Too Soft On My Boisterous Boy??

[colette]

I have just been to a small softplay with ds(2yr2mnths). I really don't know if I should stop taking him for a while because he gets overexcited and keeps shoving other kids.
I know he just wants them to play, he does not say a lot( is awaiting appointment with slt) and this is his way of saying "come and play"
Some of the time I will say to him "be gentle" especially if they are much smaller than him.
One girl who looked about 4 was complaining to her mum about him and a granny said quite loudly when he gently pushed her gd "no we don't do that"
I know it is not great behaviour and I am watching him all the time but I feel if he does not hurt other children they could be a bit more tolerant. He found 2 little girls who were up for him and not phased at all. Also he runs up to men and does this as well- aaaghh. Dh is not macho , dd is very timid and girly. I don't know where he gets it from.
Oth maybe I should pull him up quicker and am being too tolerant of his boyish behaviour , I feel that when he is speaking more it will help. I am quite unsure on the best course of action, any ideas??

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How old is your DD?

What would you think if you were there with her at aged 2.2 and a child behaved like your DS

If you hadn't had your DS {so as just a parent of DD}

How whould you want the parent to react?

Sort of to see the other side of it

DEFFO BRILL

SNAP timing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SECUR

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ds3 used tot do htis to engage
its a phase
dont let him do it

hi colette,
i have had some simler behavier from my ds he will be 5 in december .going back to when he was same age as your ds he was doing the same, i must say i used to drede taking him out just incase he pushed or smacked others.but i got to thinking if i dont go how is he going to learn,only advice i can give you is let him mix with other children as much as possible aways keep a eye on him prise when he plays nice, explain when he dosn,t.all the best im sure he a lovley little boy.[smlie]

Thanks for the replies-rtk dd is nearly 7 but I quite clearly remember being horrified at some of the boys behaviour. So I do take that into account and pull him up when he is getting rough.
Secur that is a good point about sending out a wrong message to other children, I will try getting him to make a let's play sign .
He does not do it at playgroups just at softplay places. At playgroups he plays with cars. When we were at the hospital (because he had stuck plasticine up his nose) the dr described him as a blokey boy... aaaghhh

yes ds3 did it to older kids and i coudl say to them " sorry thats hwo he tries to play" so they " got " it

Thanks edgetop - he misbehaved there yesterday but I thought exactly the same as you... that is so wierd that you put it into words. I think he is lovely(some of the time)
Cod how long was the phase??

thanks for your replies of to give his lunch . He woke at 5am so he is going to have a long sleep I hope

you wish!

oh really not long
a month? he started to s peak more an that sorted it out

he is 2 and a hlaf now and doesnt do it

Oke doke

IMHO girls can behave like that as well

Yes like the idea of sort of wave hand in a beckoning way.

So if it soft play area probs perhaps explain how to play beforehand

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thanks cod I thought you were going to say months . That has cheered me up

I don't think you should stop taking him, because he has to get used to behaving in an acceptable manner around other children. I've found that most mums are aware that a lot of children go through phases like this, and if they can see that you're trying to teach him to behave differently they will automatically become more tolerant ... some of them will already have been there and know how hard it is. You have to be consistent though - he has to know that he can't push anyone, even the older children, because pushing can hurt people and it's not a friendly way to behave.

I don't think you should let him do it at all. You have to teach him more appropriate ways to interact with other children. Even if he doesn't actually hurt other children, they are likely to be pretty shocked by being pushed.

Crossed posts with lots of others there ... sorry!

oh god you are over worrying
id just go upt o him whn he does it say no pushing
apologise to the othter kid/ muma dn distract him
its relaly not a big deal!

I grew up with a brother who was boiterous and as I am sensitive and spiritual this was a learning curve for me.

If you don´t know why you should stop him, but you know he just wants to play with them and you know it could be harmful. Well it was for me for awhile. I would emotionally open with him and say that you feel it is not a good thing etc. The more boiterous need reminding of gentleness sometimes!

While I'm sure your right that your little boy means no harm, but my son is the same age and gets really upset by other children pushing or hitting him and it can end up with him not wanting to go back to the place where it happened. While I don't expect parents to go nuts at their chidren for aggressive behaviour I do get upset when they act as if my son should just take it and say nothing.