3.5 hitting at preschool.....help

[neverright]

Hi,

Just wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom. Ds has always been a hitter but of late this has dropped off dramatically. However preschool had a word yesterday and said he had started to to hit out again mainly with the younger ones. There doesn't seem to be any triggers other than they maybe playing with something he wants. They said they he'll tell the carers straight away what he has done but can not explain why. They are using the naughty chair with him and are sitting and talking to him about what he has done.

I just really don't know what I can do. We talk to him about it after school and talk to him about being a good boy before. We also take away treats etc. What else should I be doing?

Occasionally he will do it when I'm around and I never ever let it pass without making him sit in time out and make him apologise. I really thought this should have stopped by now and I'm beginning to worry there maybe more in it behaviour wise.

Thanks for reading my rant

I would say that the naughty chair isn't working. Most settings don't use this anyway. What he needs is some proper observations to spot the triggers, because they will be there. It might be certain times of the day (tiredness, hunger, thirst, boredom, over-stimulation)
It might be certain children, adults, or activities that trigger it.
It might be that there are not enough resources for sharing, or he might be reacting to change, such as changing days, different staff, different children, change in routine.
When triggers have been identified, then strategies can be put in place to hel your DS deal with his emotions.
Instead of singling him out and isolating him with the naughty chair, the staff should be helping him with sharing and communicating his needs by including him and modelling behaviour.
Instead of looking at it like it is your son causing the problem ,look at it like it's the environment causing the problem.
Ask the staff what strategies they have in place to help your son come through this phase.
What's his speech like? Is it a communication issue? Does he listen and follow instructions normally? Things like glue ear can come on very suddenly and have a direct link to behaviour.
Try not to make it into a big deal, because you don't want to spoil the time you spend with him by telling him off for things that happen when you are not with him and have no control over.
Of course, he needs to know that this behaviour is not acceptable and that you support the pre-school staff.

Thanks for replying purepurple and sharing your thoughts. There is nothing I can think that has changed recently. The manager of the preschool is saying this has now been going on for a while (may I add there is no love lots between her and my son) but I did speak to his direct carer last week who said he has been fine they are all just getting cabin fever at the moment and are getting irritated with each other. I don't dispute that he is hitting, I know my son, I'm just trying to put into context about how seriously I should be dealing with it at home.

Totally take on board about what you say about ut spoiling out time together as it is.

He's communication is very good. He does follow instruction...if he wants to. Like most 3 year old it takes a bit of repeating at times. I'll have a read about glue ear thank you

Why on earth are they getting cabin fever? Do they not have outside play facilities? Pre-school should be exciting and welcoming, not stifling and boring. I'm not surprised thay are getting bad behaviour. I bet your son is not the only one.