Bedwetting at night, but I don't want to go back to nappies - or should I?

[ifaistos]

DD is 2 1/2, she's been without nappies for about a month now. She was very ready - her nappies were usually dry in the mornings and had been for ages. She doesn't have many accidents in the day, and didn't used to at night. She'd never wake up in the night needing the loo, but would hold it till morning.

But the past week she has wet the bed every night. She wakes up at some point between midnight and 2am to tell me the bed's wet. And for the past few nights she has come into our bed at this point as I've been too shattered to change the sheets (got another one waking me up all night too).

I'm thinking it's one of 2 things:

• she's dropped her daytime nap so is going to bed considerably earlier than before - about 8pm instead of midnight, so she's having to hold for longer
• she's realised it's getting her into our bed quicker (she'd come in very early morning anyway)

Am I right in thinking going back to nappies is not a good idea?
Should I wake her at midnight and take her to the loo? Is there a way of encouraging her to wake up when she needs the loo in the night, or is this purely biological?

I know that they usually say that once you start going without nappies that you should stick with it, but she is still quite young.

My DS1 started going without night nappies at around 3 (I know boys are meant to be slower than girls) and my DD1 is currently going through toilet training at 2.4, but I will wait until she's 100% - having a few problems with number 2's at times ! - before starting to think about taking away the night nappy.

With DS1 (4.5) we still now try to get him up for a wee before we go to bed as otherwise he can get so tired and lazy he wont get up in the morning. So I guess we'll have to do the same for a while with DD1 ? We all need to get up for a wee at night sometimes.

I know it's mean, but I also restrict drinks from 2 hours before bedtime.

I'd put her back into pull ups-ds was dry at night for about 3mnths and then started wetting. He got really upset about it. We didn't make a big deal of it and popped him into pullups. After a week or so he was back to being dry and has been ever since.

She is very young to be fry at night. I would just go back to nappies for now or perhaps use puuk ups, Waking a child to go to the toilet at night does not help it actuly encouraged wetting in thier sleep unles you make sure they are fully awake

I used to 'lift' mine - take them to the toilet just before you go to bed yourself. My DC's never even used to wake up, just stir enough to do a wee and go back to sleep.

Crossed posts, but I never had this problem.

My DS is nearly 2 years old and is still in nappies but is potty training, maybe going back to nappies could become confusing, you should test out the bedtime pull ups and see if they help and tell her that they are "special bed time pants" it may help as she is sleeping an extra 3 or 4 hours and she might get used to it, her body needs time to adjust to the exrtra sleep. HTH :)

Her nervous system has developed to allow her to know when she needs to go, so that's not the problem.

Normally, the body produces a hormone that can slow the production of urine. This hormone is called antidiuretic hormone, or ADH. The body normally produces more ADH at night so that the need to urinate is lower. If the body doesn?t produce enough ADH at night, the production of urine may not be slowed down, leading to bladder overfilling. If a child does not sense the bladder filling and awaken to urinate, then wetting will occur

I think basically what is happening is that her body just isn't used to the extra long sleeps.

I would buy a couple of packets of the disposable bed protectors - the really absorbant ones and give it a week or so, see if her body adjusts to the new, longer nights. If it doesn't, I'd just lift her onto the toilet when I went to bed - you don't need to wake her up as such, just talk to her as you take her, it's easily done.

You can try again not lifting her in a couple of months or so and see how it goes.

I wouldn't go back to nappies (or pull ups) - but I don't think it would be the end of the world if you did - as long as she doesn't feel upset/like she has failed.

I too think it's the extra hours because she's weeing around midnight which is when she used to do her last wee before bed. After that she's good till the morning.

Mumeee what makes you say taking them to the loo encourages the wetting? Is it to do with deregulating the bladder because you're making it think it's full when it's not?

Lifting puts the bladder into a routine of emptying at that time every night, so can have the opposite effect. She's only teeny, so going back into nappies or pull ups isn't a biggie. Once she starts being dry again in the morning, look at it again.

It might be quite upsetting for DD to go back into nappies - all you can do is ask her really isn't it. I don't see the point in upsetting her when it can be avoided. Short term lifting isn't a problem and what's the worst that can happen, she learns to wake at that time to go to the toilet then goes back to bed and stays dry, eventually her body will work out that these longer sleeps are the norm and start adjusting for it...

Anyway - whatever you do will be fine and wont scar her for life :)

Maybe if you do put her back into them, try for a different brand. One of my twin boys still needs pull ups at night (nearly two years after his twin brother stopped) and I get him special "pyjama" pants now so he feels like he has at least made a little bit of progress.

I have a boy so had these problems much later!! That said, I think she is still very young, even for a girl.

I get a good feeling about what Chipping says - makes an awful lot of sense, and like she says, only lift for a while. There are 3 no-no's to night time dryness and 1 is lifting, 2 is reducing drinks - the reason for these is that the bladder is never full so they never learn the signals. The other is nitelites..... I read this as it somehow affects a certain hormone production and switched mine (or rather his ) off and we rarely looked back. I used to lift DS, but I read something on here and just took the bull by the horns and did the washing for a fortnight... and then it restarted so I ditched the nitelite and had the odd accident but not many - and usually when he is sickening for something. He last wet the bed in September aged 5, but he had just come out of hospital for 10 days for most of which he had had a catheter!

Oh no - that thing about the nitelites has really worried me!! Mine won't sleep without them - screamingly scared of the dark. Perhaps the one in pull-ups is going to stay in them for a lot longer!

I generally belive that once you've started you should bite the bullet and go for it but 2 1/2 is quite young for night time dryness i had a similar prob with my dd2 about 10 mths ago and i put the nappies back on her because i felt she wasn't ready. i started again with her about 2mts ago and it seems to have worked we still have the odd accident but don't we all my DD2 is 3 1/2

I agree she seems young, but we've taken it incredibly slowly. She's been dry during the day since the summer, we just delayed taking off the nappies because we were moving house and there was a new baby coming. Her nappies have been dry at night for a while too - at least a month or so.

I think she just needs to adjust to the few extra hours of sleep, so I'll put up with a wet bed for a while longer, do a bit of lifting and see how how it goes.
We never did pull ups, and training generally hasn't been an issue, probably because we did it so gradually. So I have no idea what she'll think if we go back to nappies.

As a sidenote, I'm having physiotherapy for my pelvic floor muscles (standard practice in France after giving birth), and my physiotherapist told me never to make my kids go to the loo as you loose the ability to know when bladder's full, and it can lead to incontinence problems at menopause.

Schmee - It is a whole different thread, but sleeping with a night light is really bad for kids (well anyone really!), not being dry as quickly is the least of your worries.

ifaistos - if it's not too horribly embarassing can you tell me what the physio is doing to help your PFM?

I think you have made a good decision re DD - can you let us know how it goes.

I think the way I was 'toilet trained' has left its mark on me too - I can't go to bed, out of the house or onto a flight etc without a wee - even if I don't feel I need one, the minute I think about going to bed I do and if I try lying down without one I can't sleep. Also, even if I didn't need one, as soon as someone else mentions toilets I need one! Too much asking when I was little I think, but my Mum was on a mission to get me 'clean & dry' for a very good reason and I was happily, but I was very young. I don't blame my Mum at all, she did what she needed to do and could never have forseen the way I am now!

The physiotherapy is interesting! You have 10 half hour sessions. At the beginning she checked to see how strong my pfm were and whether they still contracted when I coughed. They did, which is a good sign apparently, but not a lot. Then you get given your very own vaginal probe, which is inserted and you get hooked up to a screen. When you contract you can see a curve on the screen telling you how strong your muscle movement is. So each session you basically do exercises following different curves on the screen that work on your endurance and speed. It's a bit like a video game. You also do abdominal exercises which involve pulling in thr lowest part of your tummy and holding the contraction whilst also tightening pelvic floor. The aim is that you learn to use your muscles effectively and that you develop the reflex of contracting every time you cough, lift, go up steps, etc.

Wow, that sounds brilliant! It's a shame it's not routinely offered here too - there are always people on here really suffering with a bad pf.

I was sceptical at first, but I have found it useful. Tbh you don't really need to see the physio for the exercises, you can do it at home without the probe. But the computer's good for motivating you to keep tightening harder. Main thing I took away from it is to systematically contract the muscles and pull in your lower tummy whenever coughing, lifting or going up stairs and supposedly it becomes a reflex and you don't even notice you're doing it. Oh yes, and to make sure you're not using your thighs or bum when contracting, so you really focus on the pf and abdomen.

I'll pass that on - I'm sure I'll have some some grateful friends! :)

First time!! 2 boys aged 12 and 6 so thought I'd got past needing too much help!!
Moved to France 2 years ago the little one had a traumatic time, didn't get on well at school but has much improved in the last 6 months in Primary School. Is learning well but has difficulty with attention, listening, behaviour, very bright but argumentative. And is starting to tell lies to cover up things. he is very kind and popular at school as he's very funny (and gets into trouble for playing the clown) Also bed wetting. Did occasionally wet the bed from 2 to 4 years but only when really tired. Now nearly every night, we try to limit drinks but that is quite difficult when they get home from school at 5, dinner at 7 and bed at 8. All after school activities go on much later here. Dad takes him to the loo before he goes to bed but he is fed up with staying up till midnight every night.
Presumably all linked to the trauma of going to a foreign school, do we ignore the bad behavior and hope he'll grow out of it. When he gets red dots at school for bad behavior we have stopped him watching his cartoons which he likes after his lunch but I wonder if it is fair to carry on things from school at home. My husband says the teacher should learn to sort out her own problems!!
We don't let him get away with things at home, we do win but sometimes its seems to take an hour to make him stop or listen or do as he's told.
We need a plan and stick to it! but I work shifts and I feel if i'm not here than any plan won't be adhered to!
Any ideas? Thanks

Have asked the question about night lights here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1130934-Whats-wrong-with-night-lights

samale your boys are 6 & 12 - you will come to love the Teen board

Your youngest - I just want to pick him up and cuddle him:( I would consider changing schools to be honest, this one doesn't sound like it suits him very well. French schools seem to be quite variable in their outlook.

Would you consider pull ups until the other problems have been sorted out. Wetting in older children is much more complicated and if it starts suddenly is either emotional or medical. I would rule out the medical first.

Dh needs to stop lifting him so late and staying up to do it, or he is going to get even more resentful and that's not good. You need to be able to be patient and understanding of the problem and you can do that if you are resentful really. Either put DS in pull ups and/or lift DS when DH wants to go to bed. I know that's still a bit of a pain, but it's not too bad.

Have you had DS checked out for any learning difficulties? If he doesn't have any special needs or learning difficulties then spending an hour making him stop and listen is just mad and you seriously need to address that. But it's hard to do that if you aren't sure if there is any other reason than 'being naughty'.