Getting Dressed Nightmare

[carouseleve]

Hi there,

Just after some useful advice regarding my 3 year old DD. Shes always been feisty and it doesnt take much to rattle her, at the mo she is dressing herself which is good, but at any opportunity shes getting changed usually when she goes to the loo, (its not that shes wetting herself) its just an occasion when shes removing some clothes and seizes the opportunity to swop clothes !! she has a lovely wardrobe of clothes, but she sticks religiously to a few items (namely party dresses and t-shirts and leggings) and not very season appropriate, Ive moved all her summer clothes but given half the chance she'd be wearing them,if we go out and try to change her (for something warmer or abit dressy) she has a major tantrum, and says, its to tight, she doesnt like sleeves, shes too hot ! in the end as dicipline if were taking her for a treat we end up not going as its got everyone worked up. My friend suggested we both choose the clothes the night before she puts them on, but she just changes anyway. If she goes in the car, she'll put a coat on and then wants it off in the car cold or not, if we try to keep her coat on she screams its to tight with her chair seat belt on. Usually getting her ready to go anywhere can take a good hour of persuasion, screaming, naughty cushion and tears. Yes I have tried removing the clothes that she wears alot too, but thought she was gonna explode with rage, she flatly refuses to wear jeans and only leggings.

Tonight she dressed herself in a pair of leapardprint leggings, with a strappy top over her vest in blue and yellow !! strange combination, but she thinks it looks nice. At bedtime put her in some lovely new pyjamas from Next she wanted to wear a short sleeved nightshirt, she always ends up outside the quilt cold, again she had a tantrum coz she didnt like sleeves and it would be too hot, we still put her in them though. All my friends kids wear lovely clothes and yet eve always looks like Ive thrown owt on her !! which usually I have in desperation! any suggestions. Thanks for reading. x

No suggestions sorry, but she sounds fab (albeit feisty).
Having 2 boys who wear anything, I am a tad jealous...

She has found a fantastic way to assert that she is an individual. Personally I would let her wear what she wants for a while with a faint "thats nice dear". Even if she looks horrendous. Fundamentally stop it being a battle ground and then hopefully she will start seeing sense with regard to what is temperature appropriate.

Good luck.

My suggestion - leave her to it! She's 3 - when she goes out in a summer dress or odd colour combinations, everyone will think "How sweet, she obviously chose that for herself", not "What a bad mother". She has many years ahead of her in which to conform (if she chooses to), and only a few years when no-one will judge her for her unusual combinations.

DS's favourite outfit at that age was a t-shirt with narrow orange and turquoise stripes, teamed with shorts with wide vertical red, white and blue stripes. He looked very "individual" in them!

Just take a jacket or jumper along in case she gets cold, and let her pick the outfits she wants.

I let my DD (v similar sounding) wear what she likes, but I pack a spare jumper and tights if she seems underdressed for the weather and often she will ask for them later. Sometimes she wants to go out without a coat but we rarely get beyond the end of the road before she changes her mind, so I ignore it and it saves a fight.
She spends a lot of time wearing a nightie, wellies and cords. She does have lovely matching clothes but instead chooses to look... Well, like a toddler who dresses herself. I try to put myself in her shoes and think how horrible it would be to have to spend all day wearing something I hated, found uncomfortable (toddler jeans often dig in) or made me boiling hot (my DD seems to run an entirely different thermostat to me!).
I do though take a firm line on changing whole outfits during the day at whim- that way lies madness.

Oh! So it's not just mine then. I'm not firm enough about the ever changing outfits though. DD also drives me bonkers with her packing of bags for imaginary holidays.She'snearly 4 1/2.