Separation Anxiety - 4.5

[Gingerboggins]

My DS went to nursery part time and later all day from 2.5 until 4 and loved it. He then moved to Reception at a private school and was very unhappy. Possibly such a big change from large church hall full on kids to really small classroom with 10 children and only 2 other boys.

After 3 month, when he was offered a place in a new council reception school I took the offer up, as he was so unhappy in the private school. The first week went well and he likes it, but come the second week he's back to crying and clinging on to me and saying he misses me so much. He gets into a complete state and tried to break free from the teachers. (At the moment he is only there for 2.5hrs a day, as new building not finished!)

He does a drama class on a saturday that he loves, but now he has started to cry when I leave him there as well.

He's very bright and usually understands things/situations when I explain them to him, but not this one. I don't understand why he is this upset about leaving me when he didn't used to be.

Has anyone been in similar situation and could advise what approach they took as mine doesn't seem to be working.

hi, not sure how much i can help but have a little bit of this with my 4.5 boy.
he is really loving school but definately misses me a lot. he is mostly okay at going to school-a little wobble when putting uniform on and leaving the house most days though.
he will then say he wants to stay with me, stay at home...
also at bedtime cries and says he doesn't ever want to sleep,doesn't ever want me to sleep so we can be together.
we have 2 dds, 2.5 and 9 months and so i can't sleep with him but he would love it if i could.

none of this ever lasts more than a minute or so but definately started with school and more so since going full time.

i talk to him in the moment and at other times about it. try to help him find the words-he is clear it is about missing me not about not liking school/bed etc. i would definately call it separation anxiety.

i acknowledge that he misses me. tell him i miss him too. talk about how i think about him. paint word pictures about things we will do together in the evening-today we had planned to paint after school. i tell him i will try to not be busy when he gets in, will make time for a cuddle. also make a thing about us two having a snuggle in my bed in the morning'no matter what' to set us up for the day-dh cuddles girls.

i also started having a 'mummy and ds' sat afternoon date, have done first one where we got train to do museum and tea out without rest of family. aim for this once a month, have put febs on calander and he can check this.

my ds has never liked saying good bye to me, but i am always told he is perfectly happy as soon as parting is over.

a friend of mine acts out difficult stuff with happy land figures so that tricky stuff can be explored.

good luck.

Hello I can sympathise, my 3.8yo ds is like this. I have a thread here about it.

Like your boys, it is pure and simple that he wants to be with me. Leaving him is heart-rending.