fighting!? help!?

[mysticflayme]

hi advice please,

was discussing my boys with my beautiful and amazing (mumsnetter!) girlfriend and she suggested posting on here...

I've got two boys 7 and 5. they really close, get on well most the time and love playing together. but just recently having a lot of physical 'play' fighting. it always starts out fits of giggles and fun but nearly always ends up getting out of hand and one of them running to me crying!

they both understand its wrong to hurt another, and both get timeout when someone gets hurt, but to no avail! i've got to the point i feel like i'm just constantly saying the same things but it makes no difference! argh!

any opinions on boys being rough and tumble? is it 'normal'? do you let your children/boys? how do you all calm it down without anyone getting hurt? How long before you step in? any advice muchly appreciated! puling my HAIR OUT NOW!

thankyou!
x

Yes it's normal.

I think all young mammals do this, and I'm not sure you can stop it.

You can however channel it. Formal martial arts teach a great deal of self discipline alongside the physical skills. Reputable clubs have junior programmer which could well be suitable.

Completely normal. It seems odd to me, but they enjoy it! I used to go out of the room if I found it irritating. They grow out of it eventually.

thanks for replies.

Onimolap: martial arts good idea but i simply cant afford it they already do activities! but worth a thought changing if it doesn't stop i guess.

Lamorna: so you just completely ignore it and walk away?

I just stepped in if it got nasty. They do it for fun, I found that when friends are around they often end up rolling around the floor. If you watch bear cubs, lion cubs, puppies etc they are the same! I found it was my problem, I couldn't stand it, so I removed myself.

To be fair I couldn't always walk away, if I was not in the mood I tried to get them doing different things. I found it worked better if I could bring myself to ignore.
Martial arts are fine, but it doesn't cut out the wrestling, it is just an addition!

yeah it had occurred to me the whole all animals do it, but it just scares me one wrong foot or fall in the wrong place and someone could end up really hurt!

just tied between always telling them violence is wrong, then saying but go ahead and play fight? oh i don't know what to do but the drive me nuts! lol

bumping for you babe!!! xx

well you could give me your expert opinion at the same time?! :p mwah x

i could!! but im not a expert!

well then your highly valued opinion smarty pants :P

you want my opinion!???? get off mumsnet and work!!

come on some one must no what the right thing to do is!! i agree that you should let them play fight but its not nice watching them nearly serverly hurt each other!

I think you leave them to it (!). I remember Dr Tanya Byron saying they need to self-regulate and learn when to stop (when it hurts :-))

If you can avoid getting involved, unless it gets to phoning for an ambulance...........

easy for me to say, I have DS 4 and DD 2 and their fighting is rather less physical... so far........

mines only just become physical! you might have this all to come yet! :P but yes thanks, i think i should try just ignore it for my own sanity and so it's not a way of gaining my attention!

Well, I went in to find DS kicking DD and them both throwing themselves around, and they were having the time of their lives..... so perhaps it is physical, just in a toddler way so far...

I do worry that DS could hurt her badly by mistake as he is 3 stone and she is 1 stone 10. So hard to get the balance between "letting them have fun" and "calling the ambulance" (hasn't happened yet and hope not!!!). So far I allow it until there is screaming........