Terrible Temper dd 8

[slipperandpjsmum]

My dd has the most terrible temper. None of my other children do and were are at a loss as to what to do. The trigger appears to be when she does not get what she wants when she wants it. It can be like walking on egg shells and its really getting me down. We employed a psychologist who reported she had low self esteem in relation to school so we have had meetings with school and stratergies are in place to address that. However, I am not sure that is the issue and its certainly having no impact at home. When she 'blows' its horrible she rants and raves, screams throws things and is always sorry afterwards. As I mentioned none of our other children display this behaviour, although her younger brother is starting to copy her which is upsetting. Does anyone have any suggestions??

I know exactly what u mean, i think not giving any attention to negative behaviour and sticking to yours guns is important so that she knows there is a line of behaviour not to cross otherwise as a teenager it could escalate in to allsorts so shes need firm boundaries and an element of fear not to cross them.
I dont think there is anything that u can do other than be there, be firm and eventually she will come out the other side and thank u for not giving in to her and teaching her well.

My son (8) is like this....he has come home from school today and thrown a massive tantrum,at the mo he is in his room shouting idiot at me and his sister (14).
He is like this alot, if he cant have his own way or you say something he doesn't like, BANG he goes off on one.
He tried to go out the front door so i had to retsrain him whilst my dd locked the door!
Im dreading his teens, he is very strong already.
He can be very loving, but mostly he is angry, and im not sure why....
Anyone any advice?

My ds (9) has been very volatile recently too. Lots of blow ups involving door slamming swearing and throwing things around, as well well as telling us he hates everyone.

It's horrible and vey stressful. It has become so bad tha he is mow seeing a counsellor at school, which. Hoe will help.

At school he is perfectly behaved and coping well with the work. They do not believe that there is any bullying going on and he has never mentioned anything along these lines.

He hates to get into trouble at school and so, I think, manages to hold himself together there, hence the massive reactions at home where he can 'let it all out'!

I have found the following can help but t is often one step forward, two steps back

• Maintaining vey clear boundaries e.g. He can only go on the wii after homework has been finished, if he gets annoyed he must not break anything or hurt anyone.

• we have talked a lot about anger being normal and it is something we all feel. I bought a book called ' a volcano in my tummy' which has some good things in.

• trying to remain calm in the face of his anger. Do not engage/shout back. Talk quietly and calmly. This cam be exhausting!

• leave him to calm down when he is in a strop (as long as he is not damaging property, or hurting anyone). Do not try to discuss it until he has flames down

• getting him to bed/sleep on time. He has found this hard but it does help.

-giving him lots of praise when he has successfully been in a situation without getting angry. He likes to be told 'well done' - don't we all?!

I hope some of these things might help. Does anyone else have any suggestions.

Sorry, didn't realise it was so long!