My 3.5 ds keeps running off and will not listen!

[Messiejae]

Just returned from the supermarket trip of nightmares, ds has habit of running off in the shop despite being involved in the shop,(in charge of list etc) and will not respond to calling, even though both my dh and I were both there today he gave us the slip and was found,after frantic searching, half way towards the busy road 100 yards outside the shop!
he has never run out of the shop before and whenever we have talked to him about the possible dangers he says 'yeah but I'd run away from someone bad' or 'I'd jump out of the way of a car' thinking he is invincible! How do you teach a child about this?? He does not listen to a word we say at the best of times!."

Actually I would just use a wrist rein and tell him you will be doing so until he stops running off and ignoring you when you call him - a bit like a time out but in motion.

My dd was like this at 2, she wanted to walk but would run ahead etc, not stop - any misdemeanor and she was straight back in the pushchair. She learnt very very quickly although I did push the puschair on the school run for a whole year and only got to use it about 4 times when she was ill!

My DS goes in the trolley if he behaves like that, he does not want to and it is a struggle to get him in and out but I explain to him that only big boys who can behave themselves are allowed out of the trolley. I also show him examples of kids who are behaving well (as there always seems to be loads, just not mine!!)

Could you end your shopping by putting something nice into the trolley?

If you do that, having told ds that is what you plan to do if he sits in the trolley or does not run off. If he misbehaves he will get *many warnings before the treat is not bought.

Then once he has behaved let him chose the treat.

Yeah I have used the treat thing but it seems at the moment I use bribes for everything! Have tried the trolley thing too, problem is I have to catch him first!......and he is so strong! I really can't get him in on my own! Feel a bit out of my depth! Anyone got any tips on how to stop him hitting us too? He doesn't do it in anger really, mostly play! and when he has full attention, as we speak have had to put him on his bed for kicking ds in a most painful place! (while cuddled up together on the sofa!

Hold his hand as you get out of the car, if he struggles just chat away about something as if you haven't noticed. Can you collect a trolley and move to a quiet place outside the store before you put him in. If possible have DH there on the first trip to help you put him in the seat.If he doesn't have people watching he won't get the fun of causing a scene. It is a safetey issue and he is not old enough to decide what is safe, you are.
When he hits say "no that hurts" firmly and move him away, repeatedly if needed. Try not to get drawn into a argument with him about it. Lots of children will try both these things you mention,as "CarGirl" say's you need to to be consistant. Good luck!