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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Terrible twos?! Why does no-one mention terrible threes?! My 3 yo DS is driving me potty.

36 replies

Greedygirl · 15/01/2011 15:40

I am so embarrassed as, whenever we meet up with friends or they come to our house, my 3 yo DS spends most of the time crying over one thing or another. Yesterday we went to soft play and he must have cried about 10 times with the slightest provocation. No-one elses child seems to cry this much! A good job I suppose because he is doing enough crying for the rest of them!! I have tried ignoring the crying but tbh I tend to get cross with him which I know doesn't help. Tips would be nice but reassurance that this is normal for a 3 yo would be even nicer!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pagwatch · 15/01/2011 15:43

Threenagers can be a nightmare.

I had one and I had emerged from terrible twonyears feeling like I had missed the bullet. Boy was I wrong.

yama · 15/01/2011 15:44

Just wait until the Fucking Fours.

belgo · 15/01/2011 15:44

Is now not a good time to tell you about the terrible fours?

CatIsSleepy · 15/01/2011 15:46

four has been pretty appalling in our house

what are the fives like?

yama · 15/01/2011 15:47

Fives are lovely Cat (so far, touchwood and all that gubbins).

Original poster

Greedygirl · 15/01/2011 16:50

Fucking fours! Flipping heck. Maybe they all have a year of horror! I went on a parenting course (I was so smug back then, he had been an angel for most of his second year)and the advice on whinging and nagging was to ignore. But whinging and nagging is sooooooooo designed to get your attention and drive you round the twist. Mind torture!

OP posts:

Lamorna · 15/01/2011 17:03

The probably stick to 'terrible twos' because those going through it don't want to know you can have terrible 3's, 4's 5s etc! When you look back with teenagers you think was it really that bad? and the answer is probably 'not in comparison'!

MollieO · 15/01/2011 17:09

Ds's terrible 2s started when he was 18 months, progressed on to awful 3s, dreadful 4s, bit of respite when he was 5, now the monumentally appalling considering putting him up for adoption 6s.

Terrible 2s is nothing. At least at that age you can still lift them up and move them when they won't do what you ask. Just try doing that with a strong and feisty 6 yr old.

Please tell me they grow out of it by 7.

hillyhilly · 15/01/2011 17:11

I was going to post about my three yr old driving me nuts yesterday, weeing himself, whining, disobeying, getting into everything and generally being an utter pest but then realised that it is all just typical three yr old behaviour - it will pass!!
(Mind you I enjoyed my first glass of wine at 7.10 more than I've enjoyed anything in a long time!!!)
He's been better today thank god

PussinJimmyChoos · 15/01/2011 17:11

DS is 4.5yrs and since starting reception in Sept, is like a mini teenager...I am sick of the sound of my own voice in the morning asking him to get dressed, brush teeth etc

Having said that, I prefer reasoning with him at this age than when he was two and his answer to everything was to headbang any surface available!

twopeople · 15/01/2011 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pagwatch · 15/01/2011 17:21

Do you want me to talk you through 13 and 15?

PussinJimmyChoos · 15/01/2011 17:23

Pag - how do you do it when they are old enough to just walk out the door etc etc?!

pagwatch · 15/01/2011 17:41

I have two teenagers and 13 and 15 were the worst but actually it was always around poor communication.

Once I had beaten into them made it clear that they had to tell me an accurate time they would be home, always answer their mobile and generally be open and honest, it became easy.

Whilst hard work I must confess I love teenagers. Great kids

twopeople · 15/01/2011 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Shimmerysilverglitter · 15/01/2011 17:50

Mine was the same op, outings were totally joyless and stressful, she is coming out of it now, just turned four and is a delight. Imvho the third year is a million times worse than so called terrible twos.

BalloonSlayer · 15/01/2011 17:52

My sister told me she was extremely smug that her DCs were lovely at two. This smugness bit her on the arse when they were three and four.

Therefore I was forearmed, and did not put my smuggiepants on. And sure enough . . . three, four, five . . . bloody hell!

DS1 still says "Do you remember when you dropped me on my head in the road Mummy?" and of course I have to remind him that he was FIVE years old and having a tantrum on the way home from SCHOOL and refusing to move so I had to PICK HIM UP and put him bodily into the car. It all went wrong when I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, tried not to let him see, went all weak, and couldn't hold him. He didn't even bang his head actually, he slithered out of my grasp quite slowly as I tried to hold on to him and he wasn't hurt. But he still remembers it!

PocketMouse · 15/01/2011 17:56

BalloonSlayer - same here. When her DD was 18mo she came out with this: "There's no such thing as the 'terrible twos', just terrible parenting"
(she even did the air quotes)

Her DD is now almost 3. har har har

Original poster

Greedygirl · 15/01/2011 18:05

So basically they continue to be horrid with short periods of respite! I teach teens and think they are fab but I suspect it will be a whole different ball game having one in my house! Laughing at all your posts though and especially relate to the wine tasting good!

My DS was a dream on Thursday (yes mummy, no mummy, you are welcome mummy!) and a PITA yesterday and today. He is fine as long as he has 200% attention and his demands met IMMEDIATELY. Otherwise he says "mummy I am feeling very grumpy" and behaves accordingly.

OP posts:

whatanumpty · 15/01/2011 18:06

Oh yes, I too sailed through 2 wondering what the fuss was all about. Then we hit 3 and I can honestly say that much as I love him there are times it's really hard to like him. And it's so much easier with a 2 year old to remember they're tiny - when your 3 year old says things like "Well, actually I don't want to get dressed" it's very hard to keep their age at the front of your mind.

Original poster

Greedygirl · 15/01/2011 18:09

Ikwym Whatanumpty - my DS is quite a chatterbox so I tend to assume more maturity. Today when I saw him at football for the first time and he was totally dwarfed by the big boys and quite obviously the youngest I suddenly realised that he is still a baby really and felt all goey for about 5 minutes when he drove me up the wall chanting "mummy" all the way home in the car.

OP posts:

WimpleOfTheBallet · 15/01/2011 18:09

My DD is currently in her snooty 6's....NOTHING is good enough!

cory · 15/01/2011 19:38

If it's any consolation I thought 3 was by far the hardest age. Nothing later has been as tough; even the teens are civilised by comparison (though that may still change).

mandy1978 · 15/01/2011 20:32

one of my older friends said that each stage is tough and you think it cant get harder but then it does...

but you have periods in between when you cannot believe that you didnt think they were amazing and adorable.

luckily memory is very short when it comes to parenting..

even my dad said there were times when he thought 'i didnt sign up for this kind of hard work' when it came to us!!

eeek... mine is out of terrible threes which were horrific. we were firm developed new parenting styles and soon enough he learnt that behaviour was the best way. now i am back to smug again, give it a month or so and i am bound to be banging m head against a brick wall thinking 'what the hell do i do now!!!!!'

xxx

jellyrolly · 16/01/2011 09:47

I have come in to hide from DS2 who is 3, currently screaming and punching his father in the garden "IWAAAANTMUUUMMMMYYY!!!!" DS1 (5) was bad but not this bad, I've never seen or heard anything like it.

Not much consolation but you aren't the only one! He threw an armchair at me once (ok it was a child's armchair but it was still very heavy). I can't do anything without getting a massive overeaction or tantrum, juice the wrong temperature/colour/cup etc.

I think I am firm and consistent but it is very hard and often incredibly embarrassing. DH is not consistent but thinks he is, which doesn't help, it is worth DS2 screaming and yelling as eventually he gets yelled back at or put back indoors and finds me (grrr). Thinking of putting all three of them on ebay.

I bet you also have really lovely cuddles and glimpses of divine behaviour sometimes though? (off to read the smallprint on ebay).

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