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Bedwetting & Lifting 4 1/2 year old

9 replies

evolucy7 · 14/01/2011 22:53

Hi there, I am after some advice please.
My DD1 is 4 1/2, she has been dry in the day since just over 2 years. When I first took her out of nappies at night, I can't actually remember how old she was, probably around 3, I lifted her at 11pm and she never wet the bed. I then stopped lifting her and she did then wet the bed, not always but it would go in phases, if she was particularly tired or ill. It got to a point that it happened many nights in a row, so I started lifting again. She started school full-time in September 2010, and is often very tired, and in the last few weeks has wet the bed several times despite me lifting her at 11pm. She was ill just before Christmas and I think this has probably been part of it. Last night she woke up herself at around 10.30pm and said that she needed a wee, this has never happened before!
Now I have always been conscious that lifting her may not be helpful in the long term, the view that it will teach her to wee in her sleep, but when I stopped doing it she wet the bed and when everyone, especially her became really tired by waking in the night, I thought it was best to lift her and everyone get a good night's sleep. Now she is at full-time school and tired, I feel this view is even more important. However, I do not want to be creating a problem that is hard to break by continuing to lift her. I keep reading that if it is actually to do with the hormone development then she would wet the bed even if I lifted her, but that only happens occasionally. She doesn't drink after about an hour and a half before bed. My DD2 is 3 1/2 and came out of nappies day and night around 2, I took them both out of nappies at night at the same time, she has wet the bed less than a handful of times, and could gulp water all night long and not the wet the bed.
What do people think, if DD1 has been lifted she doesn't need a wee on waking, so makes me think perhaps she does only wet the bed when ill or very tired, and perhaps I should just accept that if it happens and stop lifting. But on the other hand it only seems to take a few nights of an accident and she gets so tired that it seems more likely, and becomes a catch 22 and it might just be better to keep on lifting for a little longer. As long as it is not going to train her bladder to think it is ok to wee in her sleep and cause unnecessary problems.

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Mendeleyev · 14/01/2011 23:40

I am not an expert only a mom who had a bed wetter! But the advice I was given or read was that lifting didn't help them to stop wetting. Our dd1 was really upset that dd2 was dry at night first. It really bothered her so we bought an enuresis alarm to help train her as she was such a deep sleeper she didn't feel that she wanted a wee in her sleep. It took a couple of weeks but it cracked it. She did have a relapse but another few days on the alarm sorted it. She wasn't very old (4ish?) which was below the recommended age. In your position I think I'd use pull ups at night til the summer and then try again then. Loads of kids struggle at this age so Drs are unlikely to offer you any help. Hope this helps.

evolucy7 · 14/01/2011 23:56

If I lift her she rarely wets the bed, so unless I stop lifting her there would be no need for pull ups, the question really was does lifting her give a long term problem of weeing in sleep, but so do pull ups anyway

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maxybrown · 15/01/2011 00:43

ok, not something I mention much - BUT! I wet the bed til I was about 15 Blush maybe a bit older actually - not everynight mind you when I was older. My folks always lifted me and sometimes even got up to me in the night but I was always already wet. I also know I wet more than once in the night. It never woke me up either Hmm I guess then there wasn't so much help around - but I ws also a very deep sleeper.

DS amazes me because of my issues I worried but he trained himself at 2yrs months day and night no problems.........not sure I am hel[ing you here Blush sorry

Mendeleyev · 15/01/2011 07:51

Lucy lifting won't help her to stop wetting the bed. We did lifting and just found that dd wet earlier! You need to either just let it go and put pull ups on for night time or train her using an alarm.

stoppinattwo · 15/01/2011 08:05

I lifted DD and still wake her between 10 and 11...to go for a wee.....she doesnt wet at all ....so I dont think that is completely right...

If she ever does a sleepover then she would happily wear pull ups just incase...but i would make sure the mum knew...no drinks after 7 and make sure her last wee is about 10 ish...sorted

stoppinattwo · 15/01/2011 08:06

my dd is 9 btw

evolucy7 · 15/01/2011 10:08

Mendel - if I lift her most of the time she doesn't wet the bed she only does occasionally later in the night when she is ill or very tired.
Last night I didn't lift her and she didn't wet the bed, makes me think that I should just stop lifting and yes there may be some phases of wet beds but that it is just when she is unwell. I don't actually think she does need training with alarm, she has just slept about 13 hours fine. The more I think about it perhaps I shouldn't have started lifting again after it happened several times when she was ill, even when lifting her it happened when she is ill. I don't think pull ups are necessarily the answer, what just put them on when she is ill?

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maxybrown · 15/01/2011 10:33

I think lucy from what you have said she will most probably just stop as it is so sporadic.

I actually lift my son when we go to bed - he drinks a lot of milk but he never wets the bed. I think I did it after he had an accident - but he was absolutely mortified, even at 2 - he likes things to be just so!

Having said that when we went camping in the summer he did just fine.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/01/2011 10:39

I lifted dd until she was 7.
Stopped in the summer holidays when her bedtime was later, and since then no accidents.
I think lifting is useful when disturbed nights due to wetting are frequent and effecting the household's sleep.

Ime children stop when their bodies are ready. I am sure you won't be lifting dd when she's 15!

I don't like alarms- had one myself as a child and hated it.

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