11 month old suddenly becoming resistant - beginning of tantrums already?

[Kalypso]

All of a sudden, within the space of a week, my 11 month old DS seems to be resisting everything I do.

Before, when I picked him up he was delighted to be cuddled. Now, most of the time he fusses and struggles out of my grasp, usually arching his back and throwing his head back - often after he's come to me apparently wanting to be picked up.

He tries to stop me putting him in his buggy by arching his back and also furiously flapping his arms to push me away.

He no longer likes being in his highchair and after only a few mouthfuls of food, he cries, struggles, drops food on the floor and tries to push away the spoon.

He used to be happy to come out of the bath to be dried - now he yells and struggles, which is particularly difficult with a wet, slippery baby. He nearly cracked his head on the floor tonight by launching himself out of my grasp.

Nappy changes and getting his clothes on are also very difficult, but they have been hard for a while now.

Mostly he doesn't seem upset - just angry (arms flapping, growling cry etc).

He does still have his good moments, but this grumpiness is really getting me down.

Is this just a normal phase, heralding toddler tantrums? Or pre-milestone grumpiness, perhap? (he's on the verge of walking)

I want my cuddly, happy little boy back!

My DS is a few weeks off being 11 months and is doing some of the things you mentioned...

Going into his buggy is a struggle and I have to tickle his tummy until he stops being rigid enough for me to strap him into the buggy.

When getting nappy changed and dressed he wants to sit up and move around.

I think that at this stage the world is just so interesting and so many things to be seen that they just don't want to sit at peace.

My DD is around the same age and is going this through the same kind of thing. This may sound a bit odd but do you tell him what you're going to do or give him some warning, or do you take him by surprise?
I find DD is less resistant if I tell her what's going on and ask if it's ok. For instance I'll say 'mummy needs to put you down on your mat now and change your bum . Is that ok?' And I find that mostly this makes things easier. I got the idea from my baby massage classes because the instructor said it's always important to get permission from your baby as you have to think how you'd feel if someone came up to you unannounced to do a massage!

I think the problem is because she now understands quite a lot but is still unable to do a lot of things for herself the frustration becomes amplified.

Omg I couldve written this myself apart from a few differences. My 13 month old ds has been having 'tantrum epiosodes' for a month or so.

He also, like this morning, for no reason whatsoever woke up and started crying and screaming, rolling about on the floor. Lasted all of 5 mins and we tried cuddling, calming but ended up just leaving him to calm himself.

Also having problem with eating enough at meal times. Wriggling about in chair etc. We just try to offer little and often. Making sure there is always a beaker of water/juice to hand and don't go more than 2 hrs without something to eat. Even if it's fruit, rice cakes, toast.
The thing that annoys me is that at nursery, he eats everything they give him.

Thank you all for your responses. Last night was fun - had over an hour of on-and-off tantrums (flapping arms, beating the mattress etc) before he finally gave in and went to sleep. My usual routine of sitting quietly in the room and 'shushing' as needed just seemed to make him angrier. Tonight he was asleep in 5 minutes, so it all seems to be quite random.

TryLikingCharity - I tried the tickling, but he wasn't having any of it! However, the idea of distraction is a good one, so I'll keep trying.

MarmiteMagic - I've recently started doing that, and you're right, it does help a little bit now that he understands better what I'm saying. However, it seems that sometimes he simply wants to say 'no' just because he can! If he's grumpy, the slightest thing tips him over the edge. A piece of cheese dropped out of his fingers earlier onto his highchair and rather than picking it up and popping it back in his mouth, he started slapping it and mashing it to bits in fury!

Sparkleshine - my sympathies, although I'm glad it's not just me! Interesting about the water, as DS tends to only have a drink with his meals and snacks, so this could well be something I'm doing wrong. Is your DS walking yet? My DS took his first step today, so I'm wondering whether he will be less frustrated once he's toddling around

Kalypso - no ds is not walking yet. He has been cruising and moving around furniture since 10 months, but just has no interest in taking any steps, despite encouragement. Loves his walker and so proud to use it, but that's as far as it goes. He gets about fine as it is.

We used to only give drinks at meal/snack times, also had set feeding times. This just wasn't working for him.
So we have found that leaving a beaker of water in arms reach, he can grab a drink as and when. Like I guess we all do don't we?
Also offering something to eat at least 2 hrly makes me feel better that he is actually eating, even if not full meals at the 'normal' meal times.

He has never been a big feeder/eater since birth, so I guess it will just continue. Shame I can't say the same myself.

Pre-milestones grumpiness IMO.

There's a big developmental spurt around 46 weeks and it can have a huge effect on sleep / mood / behaviour / eating / drinking in the weeks beforehand. (It's what causes the second half of the 9 month sleep regression, which actually goes on till 11 months.)

There is a great book explaining it called The Wonder Weeks by two scientists who researched all the developmental spurts up to about 18 months. They describe the behaviour as 'clingy, cranky and crying'. It usually calms down again once they hit the spurt.

The run-up to new physical developments (eg walking) can have the same effect as well.

I'd agree with explaining what's happening. Baby signing can help. Making things into a game and pretending to be excited about them sometimes helps, as well as distraction with toys / books etc.

I'd go with his preferences as much as you can rather than trying to force him to do things. I change virtually all nappies while 12 m.o. DS crawls / stands up rather than trying to pin him down on the floor and we're both happier as a result.

There's another spurt around 55 weeks and my DS started being like this when he was just under 12 months.

Just thought I'd update to thank everybody for their help.

DS' mood has greatly improved! I can attribute some of this to a few new distraction techniques (singing nursery rhymes while feeding, making a game of putting him into his buggy etc), thus avoiding the build-up of frustration, but I think the major thing is that he's now walking. He seems much less cranky and has become quite cuddly again.

I've also been more consistent with regards to explaining what's happening and what's about to happen. Again, this has helped massively, and I've even found he settles better at bedtime when I quietly tell him that I'm about to put him in his cot.

Many thanks again for helping! See you next time for the next cranky stage, when no doubt I shall be begging for reassurance again....