3.5 year old vs baby, help!

[doricpatter]

I know this has been done a thousand times before but I'm really shocked and not sure how to deal with it. DS has always been kind and amenable. Since the new baby's arrival we've tried hard to make sure he gets lots of attention etc and he has always been very affectionate towards her. However, in the last few days he's pinched her twice and bitten her once. He says he doesn't like her sometimes, because she scratches him, and then tonight said he felt left out.

Clearly I'm going to have to supervise more closely - today he went and pinched her while she slept in her moses basket - but what do I do to try and resolve things, when will it get better and does it mean he's going to turn out to be psychotic?!

Sorry, can't input any experience as I only have one 4yr old but didn't want your thread to go unoticed as I am sure someone will come along with some words of wisdom for you.

He needs lots of reassurance and positive attention. My older ones have appreciated one on one with dh or me while the other looks after the baby.

Many children regress when a younger sibling baby comes along. Did he bite or pinch others as a toddler?

Until things settle down try and overlook the minor things and reassure him by punishing the major things. Apparently a new sibling is the equivalent of your oh coming homes with a second husband or wife so very major!

Thanks :)

He's never, ever bitten, pinched, hit or been violent in any way. That's why three incidents in the space of a couple of days has been such a shock.

I'm trying to be really positive and we're making the effort to ensure he gets some one-to-one every single day, from both of us - although in truth, he always has had this.

Any general idea on how long these phases take to pass?