Favourite parents?

[moodlesoup]

My DD4 is a daddy's girl, always has been, and up till now I've been fairly relaxed about it.
I feel pathetic admitting to this situation, but my DD4 overt display of preference towards her dad is starting to cause real tensions when the 3 of us are together.

She will never play with me or sit on my lap, if DH leaves the room she will whimper for him to return instead of making do with me. She refuses to kiss or cuddle me, but makes a great show of doing so to him. She begrudgingly lets me read bedtime stories to her, only after DH has explained that he has work to do. I'm sure i've let her see it affect me which is why she's doing it, but we seem to be entrenched in this behaviour and I can't see a way out. I am starting to feel resentful towards my DH now too which is just ridiculous.

We are absolutely fine and happy when there's just one parent with her - in fact its much easier all round.

Anyone got any advice? I know I sound pathetic and really immature and would be really grateful for any frank advice.

Don't feel pathetic! My dd was the biggest daddys girl and she never wanted me to do anything.He could do no wrong and depending on how I felt sometimes I would cry as I thought she had no love for me and just her dad.

To top things off people were always saying on how close she was to her dad and I wondered what I had done to her for her not to really want me.

She would even say that she hated me, and would never ever say she loved me without quickly expressing her love for her dad.

I did often feel pushed out and on occasion my dh would make it worse I felt, I just explained to him it weren't nice and he did stop and try and help.

But unfortunatly you can only be there for her and do your best, she does love you but it is hard to take.

My dd is 6 now and eventhough she is still a daddys girl she does do more with me now, I have a ds and he is very much a mommys boy so now my dh knows how it feels.

It is not a nice situation but don't feel you have done anything wrong.

thanks - that's good to hear.

I think kids, even little kids, really know how to play on parents' emotions on things like this!

Does this happen after you have been looking after her all day? I am currently a SAHM and when DH comes home, my DS (4 yrs) will desperately want to see him, and will completely avoid me. By comparison, DD (2 yrs) will refuse to be parted from me, and will actually be pretty unfriendly to DH, refusing cuddles or bed time stories, looking away, etc, etc..

Somehow with one kid going each way, neither DH nor I get too upset, but if it was less balanced, ie only one child definitely preferring DH, I would be really upset too at times.

My ds,2, always calls for daddy whenever there's a perceived injustice in his life! You know, no more biscuits, we're leaving now, I need to change your nappy. Doesn't happen much the other way round- but then dh has fewer situations where he has to enforce injustice without someone being there to distract from it.

Hi Alaska - no, i tend to work more than my DH so she gets more time with him during the week, whereas at the weekend, i tend to spend more time with her.

i think its just something i'll have to get used to. sometimes its worse than others. and you're right, kids are great at playing on emotions and she's found my achilles heel!

thanks again.