My 3.5 yo son says no-one loves him

[livvymummy]

Please help! This is my first post and I've been compelled to join because I'm worried about my 3.5 year old son. He often says he has no friends or no-one will come to his party and yesterday, his dad (we're separated), told me DS had said no-one loves him. I can't think where this has come from, because DS is showered with affection and cuddles. He goes to nursery 3 days and he talks about one boy in particular he seems to be friendly with. The other 2 days he spends with his grandparents who dote on him. I unfortunately have to work full time but I'm always there for him in the mornings and at night, and his dad and I have weekends about. I always tell him I love him and miss him when I'm not with him and that he's my best friend, but can't help feeling this is my fault for being separated from his dad and/or having to work full time. Has anyone else's little one ever come out with this sort of thing? I breaks my heart to hear it.

My little boy of the same age says every day that no-one plays with him at school and once he cried about it, as you say it really is heartbreaking.

But I think, at least for my ds, that he is someways doted on too much at home and so expects the same attention at school (he's in pre/prep 4 days a week) and if he's not the centre of attention then he doesn't feel like the others are playing with him. My ds is a really sociable happy little thing so I am hoping that it's just a phase he's going through and that as he gets older he'll settle in.

Also, at 3.5 they are still little kiddies really and a lot of kids their age are not put in these social situations and are maybe not quite ready for it. From what I've seen from seeing him with his class mates none if them really seem to be cliquey as such just yet so I'm not too worried...

At least this is what I hope.

Mine have said this but it really means

1. Somebody didn't do what I wanted today.

Or

2. I'd like lots of hugs, sympathy and attention from you please.

Or
3) I'd like to be as popular as someone else I've seen at school today.

I know that they don't really mean it because if I say " It's not good that everybody is mean to you at school. Let's talk about it with your teacher tomorrow." then they will confess it's not true or make some excuse why I can't talk to the teacher. I then give them a knowing smile and change the subject.

I wanted to add that dh and I are not separated and I've seen plenty of kids from two-parent families try this on. I think mine do it because they see melodramatic kids get attention at school from others and they are testing whether it works.