My ds aged 4 and anger outbursts

[roseability]

I have a lovely bright and sensitive 4 year old boy. Generally he is a delight and I think my parenting is mostly good enough.

However recently he has started having some trouble expressing his anger (or that is what I am putting it down to). If I tell him off, even if I do so calmly and with an explanation, he can get very angry. He expresses this by shouting, kicking and throwing things and even pushing me at times. He answers back and screams and shouts at me.

Where does this anger come from? I know kids don't like being told off but is this normal? For example tonight I told him off for pushing his little sister over. He then started throwing things at the living room door and marked it. I am sorry to say I did lose it on this occassion and really shouted at him, which I know isn't the way to handle things. I am generally patient and calm but very occasionally I do lose it and shout or even scream. Has he got it from me?

I noticed that his pre school records state that he need help to express his emotions. Is this a problem or just a developmental stage?

I must say that most of the time he is well behaved and lovely with his sister.

Really struggling with how to handle this. I want him to be able to express his emotions but not lash out like this

He's a four year old boy having a surge of testosterone and trying his boundaries. With aggression, my children were always removed from the situation and put in time out with a reminder that violence is completely unacceptable. I liken little boys to puppies (certainly mine were likened) as in they need regular bursts of physical activity to rid themselves of energy and aggression. Playfighting is a great way of teaching boundaries eg wrestling is fun, tickling is fun, but hitting/kicking etc isn't. Do try your best not to shout and scream at him, as he will copy, but don't beat yourself up too much if it happens occasionally - you're only human!

Thanks TheVisitor. We are generally not a shouty household but today I was on a low ebb and lost control a bit. I will try the idea of time out/removal from the situation as just telling him and trying to explain is not having much effect.

I don't think the weather helps. My ds is quite fit and really benefits from a good walk or run around in a playground. We are more cooped up and I think that affects him