18 mth not sleeping!

[mumofmaddy]

After sleeping through from 10 months to about 2 weeks ago, my 18 month old is refusing to sleep!
Around 2 weeks ago my daughter, started crying when she was put to bed, after taking the advice of my health visitor I kept returning in to lay her down after each minute and put her dummy back in. This really hasn't helped and it has progressed now to her screaming and making herself physically sick. She can do this within about 30 seconds of me leaving her. She begins to gip and seconds later i have sets of bedding to change! Last night it needed to be changed 3 times. When I finally get her off she awakens a further 2 to 3 times a night, screaming. I started off not taking her out of her cot unless sick, obviously to clean up the mess, I've even tried the stroking of her head and hand until she doses off but the second i move she awakens and screams the house down. I was sitting doing this from quarter past 11 until 1 am the other morning and it was all a waste as she wouldn't sleep. She's not sleeping during the day either except for 10 minutes here and there and I really don't know what to do! I ended up putting her in with me as I needed to get some sleep as I'm up at 6.30 for work. I know this is frowned upon but she has lost 2lbs in the last week or so from making herself ill and I just can't teach a class on no sleep. I'm not getting my work done on a night and really am at a loss. PLEASE can someone help???

Personally I think that co-sleeping is fine as long as you follow the guidelines and do it safely. Many cultures co-sleep without problems and if sleeping together solves her distress then I would do it for a while.

Could she be bothered by teeth ?

If you want to try a solution because it's not just one of those things that babies do to keep us on our toes, I'd try and work on the daytime sleeping as I find that it's often linked to nighttime sleeping. Was she sleeping to a rough schedule prior to her sleep problems? I think that at 18m one of my children had 2-3 hours after lunch while the other had 2 naps of 1.5 hours. If she wakes up at roughly the same time as before sleeping problems then I'd try putting her down for a nap at a different time to "normal" as maybe she needs a new routine?

First up I'd try over on the MN sleep forum as they really know their stuff over there. Secondly I'd ditch the rapid return sleep training because it is obviously not working and is making a bad situation much worse. Typical health visitor tough love but with little insight into what might actually help. It sounds like the 18 month sleep regression here, or maybe her molar teeth, either would make it much, much harder for her to switch off and go to sleep even if she really wants to, and the new sleep trauma will be adding to her stress. If I were you I'd go for the cosleeping for a little bit and I'd try again when she feels more settled. DS 17 months is going through a poor sleep patch for similar reasons, but hehas always been an awful sleeper so we've done what we had to, a little bit of cosleeping here, rocking, shushing patting, night feeds, but he's finally getting the knack of it, in his own time, and is now settling off to sleep all on his own, without tears. I feel like making a bonfire of all those rods the health visitors love to tell you you are making for your own back. Anyway good luck and pop over to the sleep topic.

Thankyou for your advice as i'm so at the end of my tether anything is welcome.

It's hard to settle her for longer during the day as she is at nursery while i'm at work and she just won't sleep for them. On a weekend she will sleep from 1 until about 2.30 or 3 but the same thing again where she screams and creates so i've just had to stop this nap. I think i will put her in with me tonight, however, it's a struggle as I have so much paper work to do, which, I usually get done whilst she is sleeping. Maybe i've had it too easy and this is just a reminder of how hard being a parent is!

I've taken your advice and reposted this in the sleep discussion to hopefully hear from someone else who has had the same problem - I surely can't be the only one with a child who makes themself vomit can I?

I've not used the site before so didn't know there was an actually sleeping forum so thanks guys!

I know this will seem like slack mothering but here goes. My 18month ds has never napped in the day. Bit of a shock as his older brother did. He will only sleep briefly if out a for walk in his pushchair. In the evening I let him fall asleep on the sofa and then sit next to him with my glass of wine and watch tv ... Make sure cushions on floor if he rolls..usually ok and no harm done so far. Then at my bedtime I transfer deep sleeping baby to cot. Usually sleeps til 3am when he wakes up and demands a bottle and to come into bed with me. Put him in bed with me, give him bottle and then he sleeps til 7ish. In my defence did similar thing with ds1 at night and he sleeps fine in his own bed and has done since age 3 - bit of bed hopping before then. Got lots of 'making rod for your own back' comments but ho hum..we are happy. Good luck.

Sounds like the 18 month sleep regression. It's caused by 'the mother of all developmental transitions'. You can read more here and here and here.

I'd stick with the co-sleeping.

Sorry, that sounded a bit short. What I meant was that if co-sleeping helps, I'd keep going with it now. With sleep regressions, it's a case of doing whatever you can to get everyone as much sleep as they can in the short term, without worrying about bad habits. Not napping in the day will tend to make the nights worse unfortunately.

Lots of sympathy from me. We're in the 13 month regression (plus teething) so I have all this to come.

Thankyou for the advice and the links were really helpful. I managed to get her to fall asleep with me last night and transferred her back into her cot at quarter to 1 when I awoke. She woke again at 20 to 3 but managed to get her back off in her own cot. I'm hoping she sleeps through tonight so we can all be more awake tomorrow . She went off tonight in my bed again - takes the distress away and she's in her cot again so fingers crossed!