Speech development

[midas]

Hello all, I am wondering if you can help.I am a new member.
I have a boy that will be 4 in January. The nursery has just informed us again that he doesn't focus in class and repeats things that they ask him. Although his speech was delayed but he now speaks to us, asks questions all the time , answer when we ask him questions, 90% of the time , the other times he might repeat and if it is someone he is not used to most of the time will not answer. Now they want someone to assess him, I just do not understand why he will do stuffs with us and won't do it in the nursery. I have been made to understand that he doesn't join in for songs/stories etc, but he comes home and sings these new songs that I don't even know. He is the kind of person that does not easily get close to adults, but fine with kids, he will only get close if the adult makes the effort.
What I want to know is is he likely to change as he grows up because this is the second nursery that will say the same thing and I getting fed up of saying, he knows his colours, recognise numbers , parts of body etc, he asks us too many questions that sometimes can get you frustrated but he doesn't do these at nursery. I can honestly say his speech is still not really up to scratch.
Just don'y know what to do next.
Thanks for reading.

Hi Midas.

Firstly, I would take heart from the fact that he gets close to kids not adults: the reverse is usually true with conditions such as Aspergers, which could possibly be what they want him assessed for.

If they do want him assessed though, go ahead with it but insist that he gets a detailed hearing and vision screen as part of the assessment. The fact that he can't do these things as a group may be simply to do with that. It could also be shyness though, or simply that he isn't a group person.

The chances are that he is developing quite normally, and there is nothing wrong. But where is the hear in following the advice? At least the Nurseries will see you as an ally.

I have three sons, DS3 is absolutely fine but just doesn't talk (at 26 months), DS1 has Aspergers but gets on REALLY well with adults but not kids, DS2 sounds very much like yours and he has hearing problems, he is 4 (5 in January). It could well be a hearing issue (groups would exaccerbate that), and may well be easily treatable (eg glue ear).

Hope that helps, good luck

Thanks PC, he had his ears tested earlier on because of the speech delay and that was fine but that was over 1 year ago and he has been in glasses since he was 7 months (squint from birth, then discovered he is short sighted during tests)

I'd get the hearing done again (hard to test little ones accurately, and glue ear can worsen), but the glasses might explain it on their own- DS1's problems were masked by his vision as he was in glasses from 15 months (couldnt get a test til then- astigmatism).

Are the glasses making him self conscious?

He is not at all conscious of his glasses, he is very used to them, and quite responsible with them. Thanks a lot I will look into the hearing test again with the HV

is he shy?

Thanks for the bump.
Yes he is quite shy doesn't approach people first except they make a fuss of him and he "gains" their trust, even ignores adults when they say hello unlike his little brother.
I just want him to be settled in nursery I have been told he looks around during story time,but he will read to himself(makes up the stories) and brings me a book to read to him but loses interest really quickly.

Sorry for bringing this up again.
I have been talking to the nursery through the nanny(seeing them next week myself). I told her to ask them some questions(they are bringing someone in to assess him next week).
Now been told he only plays with the doll house and doll.Constanly takes the clothes off and puts it back which I know that he does at home as well but not so often anymore maybe becos I haven't seen any of the dolls/bears for a while.
She gives him crayons, paints for a little while ad puts the crayons back neatly, he never does this at home u have to make him pick things up. She had his little brother with her when she went to pick him up and the teacher was actually surprised that they play together, this is a child that I have to force home with me from church/friend's because he is constantly playing/running around with other boys. He just doesn't play with other kids at the nursery now, which I thought he was doing. He has only started saying hello to other parents I have been told. The difference is just so much with the way he acts at home and nursery.
She was surprised when she asked him his brother's name and he told her. She has to show him pictures to find out what he wants to do , he tells us at home. He never goes or asks to go to toilet and is always bursting to go when he gets home everyday. At home he goes by himself if with nanny but tells me if I'm there. The list goes on.

I find that my 2 boys (5yrs and 2.8yrs) repeat things when they haven't fully understood the question. Often all it takes is for the adult to re-phrase the question. Ds1, for example, doesn't understand "What have you been up to?" but re-phrase it as "What have you done?" and he will answer. It may be that at home you speak to your son in a way you know that he will understand. When he gets to nursery they may use different phrases/expressions and so he simply repeats them. It may be an idea to ask the staff to keep their language simple when speaking to him, eg instead of "Go and sit at the table to have your drink" they could say "Drink at the table". Shorter sentences will also make it easier for him to focus on the key words.

My ds2 absolutely refuses to sing with the other children at pre-school. He clamps his hands over his ears. On the way home, however, he will sing pretty much every song they have sung that morning. He just doesn't like the noise the other children make.

If you feel that his speech is behind then it may be worth asking for a referral to a speech therapist. He may well just need a little help to catch up.

Maybe he's just shy.

Sorry to bring this up after a long time.

Just updating to encourage mums that might have concerns about their DD/DS.

My DS is now in Y1 and despite the fact that he didn't call me mum until a month before his 3rd birthday, he can now talk for England.
His grammar is excellent, reading level is great - read the word ADVENTURE the other day and I nearly cried when I remembered all the time I was so worried, and endless internet searches and the pressure from everyone. HV, nursery etc.

He has loads of friends, loves schools, his teachers.
Then it was like a dark cloud and some people's remarks just used to hurt so badly.

All that now seem like a long long time ago.

thanks midas my ds is 2.5 and is not speaking in sentenses is gradually learning alot more words although not pronouncing properly alot of them and it is always a worry you dont want them to be behind

well done to your little lad they all learn in there own time and when they feel ready

midas - Thanks for that, that is such a comfort for me. My ds 3.6 has delayed speech and has just started nursery, the teacher told me today, that he wanted to sing a song at song time, when kids can request their favourites, but no one could understand what he was saying, i felt like crying, in fact im welling up now (i know doesnt take much to start me off!!)

Thanks so much for that

(Hi Bubbla girl, we seem to have a lot in common!!!)

hi law3 we certaintly do well my ds is 2.5 nearly and doesn't speak in sentences knows alot of words but some you can just make out what it is am having a long wait for salt but sleep therapist is also trained speech therapist so we are putting on hold sleep therapy and she will come and help with his speech which is great of her as still haeve a long wait to go

well he is an angel and nearly cried when you wrote about your son at nursery as i'm so afraid when my ds starts that he is going to be the same as he hardly talks to others so that they can understand he still babbles alot but i love him to pieces and want to heklp as much as i can

hoping when therapist comes out she'll know what to do with me to help him only been last few weeks his been copying words that i'm saying oh i could go on about this all night i'm glad i know i have someone who has something in common with me for a change lol

nice to be talking with you by the way xx

bubbla - my ds has problems with his sounds ie car is tar, goat is doat, hot is fot and so on. He had fluid in his ears for about a year which didnt help. The speech therapist will be seeing him in nursery.

To add to it he has Brown's syndrome in his left eye and problems with his sight in his right, so he is going to have to wear a patch over his left, to strengthen the right.

Oh and he doesnt eat, hardly anything and is severely anemic etc (on medication) and the topic this term, is you guessed it FOOD.

He seems quite bright, is kind and gentle, so he has his good points too

He is happy to be going to nursery, loves it so far, he loves other kids, but has trouble communicating with them, i worry more than he does. He did get a bit upset today, but im sure he will take it all in his stride. What doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger right!! All character building stuff.

Your son doesnt happen to be left handed as well does he, that would be eerie lol

lol no he appears to use both but i think mainly right handed he he

your ds sounds simply adorable no wonder you kept him with you for so long lol

i'm glad he has settled though my ds doesn't have such a problem with food did start to when he was abouit 18 mths but copied some tips from house of tiny tearaways where they made the food fun as he didn't seem to want to eat sloppy food anymore so put some on my nose etc to show it was ok to get dirty and from then on in he's been fine

just concerned with speech as doesn't even seem to want to talk in sentences but is just starting to learn to copy what i'm saying so maybe he will do soon

have to go for hearing test next week he always has waxy ears wondering wether this could be a problem although his ears are not infected had them checked several times his always rubbing his ears though

my son seems to use the word c,g and d alot but not b and s so star is gar bee is dee speech therapist thinks maybe different frequencys he cant hear so could be the waxy ears we'll have to wait and see next week he was a very mucusy baby and had trouble getting reading in r ear when he wass born so wandering if also this could be problem but as i say wont know till next week anyway

well hope little man settles or settled well for you tonight mine went off to bed at 6 he was up at 5 when daddy got up so was exhausted bless him spk soon x

He was rushed to intensive care straight after he was born and had to stay there for 2 weeks and i wasnt allowed to touch him, i think i may have over compensated though, in my bed for 2 years lol. All went well tonight with the sleep, he is in the land of nod. Thanks for the advice, much appreciated.

Ooops sorry midas, getting carried away on your thread.

sorry midas but were so happy your ds is doing well were encouraging each other as we are going throught he same now really happy for you though x