Kids won't talk to their dad

[MrsT2b]

Firstly hello, I've been lurking about for a couple of weeks on here but never posted. But I could really do with some advice.

My children are 3 and 5 and my ex husband and I separated shortly after my 3 yr old was born. He has never had a great deal of imput into them (in my opinion) and I'm having real issues getting them to speak to him when he phones up.

He calls every other Sunday to speak to the kids and has them for the weekend inbetween. The problem is I can never get the kids to speak to him. They say they don't want to speak to him but can't tell me why? The problem I have is he blames me! Tonight I've been told that I 'should get a grip of the kids and sort it out' that I should punish them for not speaking to him. I am sick of trying to get the kids to speak to him when they don't want to, I mean I can't force them to? Then getting a load of grief off him! Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

I look forward to hearing from you.

MrsT2b xx

some kids love being on the phone -others don't. Have you tried telling them they can have some chocolate whilst on the phone to him or they can havesome after the phonecall? Also is he being fun or boring when on the phone to the kids? Punishment is not the way to go either way.

Thank you for your reply and yes I totally agree that punishment is not the answer, poor kids haven't done anything wrong! I haven't tried the chocolate thing, will give it a go. I turn off the tele and move them away from their toys etc but it makes no difference.

When I call to speak to them when they are at their dad's I can't get them off the phone? But it's the norm to speak to me as I have them most of the time and don't go a day without speaking to them. I personally feel if dad phoned a bit more often it wouldn't be so much of an issue and I've told him that, but apparently it's still all my fault!

MrsT2b xx

They're a bit young to get it.

Could you do web chat instead - if they can see him they may be more interested?

I expect everything is your fault.

He sounds like a dick. Just tell him that you don't see it as a major issue if they don't want to talk to him and that you will discipline your children according to your parenting values, not his. (The twat.) So talking about fault, is not appropriate here and you would be grateful if he would speak to you with more respect and civility.

Or if you want to be more conciliatory, you could try Skype - that is much more fun than a bog standard phone for kids.

Skyping is a great idea CarGirl. My DDs often don't want to talk to me on the phone when they are at their grannies - they are simply not interested in phone chats. But when my DP went away, we skyped him and they absolutely loved that. I sat the computer on the table so that DP could watch them having their tea once - they also could show him their paintings or what they were wearing. SO much easier for everyone.

Could your ex not see them between weekend? Two weeks is a long time to go without contact.