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Behaviour/development

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How to encourage a child to be less easily lead?

2 replies

Fenugreek · 09/01/2011 18:48

Dd has always been fairly easily talked into things. This was GREAT when she was two and reluctant to put her shoes on. Not so great now she is four and her friends are telling her to be rude or mean.

She is drawn to strong characters and just does as she is told.

For example, she plays beautifully with K next door. They get on well and have lovely games. Then, as soon as friend F comes over I hear F saying "let's run away from K and tell her she's not our friend" and dd just giggles and goes along with it. It's almost WORSE to be the giggling goon, than the brains behind the operation isn't it?

I'm not meaning to be over dramatic, and I know 4 yo children will be exploring all this sort of thing. All normal. But I have also seen this pattern repeated 3 times with dd now, And I would like some ideas on how to encourage her to understand that it's a good thing to stand up and say no when someone is being mean.

I suppopse I want her to have a bit more confidence and empathy? I know every parent thinks this, but she is a nice little girl mostly, just painfully easily lead astray. We have had chats about how it doesn't feel nice to be left out. I have explained what being mean is, and that she shouldn't do it. And we have role played being nice and standing up when someone is mean to our friends.

A couple of good friends have separately mentioned to me that dd and F make quite a gruesome twosome, and that dd doesn't think of being mean when F isn't

around. I know it's not just me noticing.

What do you think?

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scurryfunge · 09/01/2011 18:55

At this age, you will be the biggest influence by far, so keep at it.Smile

Reinforce good behaviour at every opportunity -during everyday play with figures,etc is a good chance to chat about behaviour, when you are reading books together or watching tv. You'll find that bullying themes always crop up.

SkyBluePearl · 09/01/2011 19:18

keep doing what your doing. Also i would tell the child that if she can't play nicely when F is around then you will take her home. Follow through if you see bad behaviour.

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