Dd, 5, avoids competition to avoid losing. Should I worry?

[littlebylittle]

Of course I will a bit anyway! Just heard there's a competition at her gym class. Mixed feelings about that, but dd doesn't want to do it. So she's not - no intention of pushing her, but asked her why and she said because she might not get a prize. She also asked to change lunch option so didn't have to line up, again cos might not be first. What do you think of this? She has always been really good at games in the sense that no steps or anything when she doesn't win, so not sure where this has come from. Except...I guess I have a tendency not to do stuff where I might not 'win' even when not obviously competitive and often don't work at stuff rather than fail. Over analysing? Probably. But if this is dd going same way, how do I help?

I think you need to 'enjoy' losing. So play around the idea of 'oh BOOOOOO, you beat me. You were first up the stairs!' mock sad face, then pick her up with a happy face 'well done you!'.

Cos it's ok and natural to be sad and a bit disappointed to not win and perhaps she needs that emotion acknowledged a bit..?

(PS your post just reminded me that we can never get it right as parents, they're either too competitive or not competitive enough!! )

No advice on how to help I'm afraid, just reassurance that my Ds1 was exactly the same at that age.
He's G&T, very bright and a perfectionist. At 5, he wouldn't attempt things he thought he might not win, or would not be brilliant at and I worried myself stupid about it.
Now he's 11, and completely over it. All I did was constantly reward and praise effort, never results. I made much more fuss if he tried something he wasn't great at.
Even now, I reward him for effort.
Otherwise I ignored it

Thanks!

My very nearly 6 year old was very much like this, and still can be hesitant to take part incase he loses.

From the age of about 3 he wouldn't even play pass the parcel or musical bumps, or any party games with a prize, because he might not win. He has pretty much grown out of it now, he takes part in party games now most of the time.

I just try not to worry about it too much, he will get there in the end!