Should I continue with the Toddler group even though DD bawls for the duration

[Pagan]

DD has just turned 2. She's been going to the local Mums & Toddlers group since she was about 8 months. She's been fine there until she reached 16 months and DS was born. She became a bit clingy then (understandably) but I continued to go and she came out of it and would play as normal. It has always been a fairly quiet group but since it started again after the holidays there are a lot more folk there - about 15 mothers/grannies/childminders and about 20 kids. DD now just clings to be like a limpet, bawls her head off if I try to prise her off me and generally seems to have an awful time of it. She is not in the least shy with other adults but other kids always turns her this way. Even just one boisterous child will send her running to me. The only part she seems to enjoy is the singing songs at the end where all the kids are sat on the floor with their Mum and she's then happy enough to dance and join in.

TBH I can't really be bothered with it now either as it is too noisy for me but I would endure it for her sake if I thought she would get something out of it. Next year when she is 3 she'll be going to Playgroup & Nursery for a couple of mornings a week where I have to leave her. Should I just give Toddlers a miss until then when she's a bit older or stick it out to get her used to mixing with other kids?

I'm wondering if this is inherited from me as I can remember back to a similar age and hated being taken out of my comfort environment. I only went to Explorers once and declared I wasn't going back as I didn't like it. I'm still a bit like this in crowds and this is another reason I would endure Toddlers so that DD doesn't end up like me.

One of the reasons I hated toddlers groups was the noisy, unstructured environment and we stopped going. ds3 seemed far more happy when I took him on my own or with one or two other friends to the park or for a walk by the river to feed the ducks.

If your dd really is not enjoying it, I don't see much point in both of you enduring it tbh. Give it a miss for a few weeks then try again, see if it makes a difference having a break?

Agree with screameagle that if dd is not enjoying most of it then give it a miss. I wouldn't worry too much about mixing with other kids as she is still very young.

bump

I'd agree that having a break may make all the difference.

Oh, definitely don't force yourselves to keep on going. I used to run our local toddler group until the same thing started happening with ds. I persevered for bloody ages, as I felt I would be letting people down, but eventually stopped going and the relief! For both of us

I think children reach a stage where they outgrow the aimless running around stage, and are not yet ready to play co-operatively in more sophisticated games. I have found soft play and activity classes (e.g. music group) provides the right amount of socialising and interest for ds at this stage.

I also think if you press your daughter to mix in large groups before she feels comfortable, then that could well cause problems with groups later in life as well, don't you think?

That's exactly how I feel FF. I'm the organiser for the day I go and can't really do my bit with a clingy 2 year old

Aha. I think this is part of the problem, Pagan. I found I was getting tired and tense about the jobs I had to do, and ds was picking up on it. I find he wants my full attention if he is feeling insecure, it was a vicious circle.

When we go to other toddler groups now, we pick ones where there are more organised activities going on, and I can focus on him. I do also run an activity group and he is usually fine there, but there is a lot of exciting things happening, not just toddlers charging around the room.

When I decided to give up the toddler group, it transformed our whole routine! I wished I had done it months before. If the group is not capable of running without you then it is not a viable group for the future - no-one should be irreplaceable, voluntary work has a natural turnover as people move on to other things.

You're probably right FF . Not that there is much to do but I have to take DS who is 8 months old so I can't make sure DD is OK all the time because I have to keep an eye on him. Although there is alway a spare pair of hands to help I just feel that I can't do everything and I don't enjoy it the same now that it's so busy you can't have a proper natter with anyone for tripping over kids, adults and toys. It's hardly any wonder DD bawls, some days I feel like joining her.

I was just wondering what other folk's experiences had been. I'll give it another couple of weeks then call it a day if need be