Separation anxiety disturbing 8mo sleep - please, please, please can I have some tips?

[Jennlx]

I think my 8mo is suffering separation anxiety - he previously slept 12 hours, but now wakes up every night at 1am, then 3am and screams and screams and screams until I pick him up. He gets very hysterical, but don't think he's teething as he doesn't seem in pain and instantly goes quiet when I (only, not DH) pick him up. I'm getting into the habit of rocking him to sleep (unhelpful) or putting him into our bed (ditto), which is not helpful long term. I tried patting his head to sleep but it was taking an hour or so, then he would sleep for 10 mins and the whole thing would begin again. Would be ETERNALLY grateful for any tips - baby no. 1 and clueless!! xxx

I don't know why you think having him in your bed is unhelpful but if he needs to be with you and you don't want to be having to rock him to sleep everybody then I would just have him in bed with you. That way he's near you so sleeps and you can sleep too.

Sorry not very helpful if you have reasons for not co-sleeping but for me it has saved my sanity. We all get a good nights sleep when my youngest is in bed with us.

Oh and just remembered that I think most babies go through a 'clingy' phase around this age.

I know when ds1 was 9 months I couldn't even go for a pee without him bawling his eye's out. It lasted about a month I two I think.

Play lots of peek-a-boo with him with various things, hands, blankets, standing outside the living room door and peeking your head through every so often. That way he learns that even if he can't see you you are still there and will always come back.

Oh, that's really helpful, thanks. I must admit, I don't like LO sleeping in our bed because I'm afraid we'll crush him and so don't sleep well! My DH often rolls over quite heavily and sleeps very deeply...I live in fear that he'll crush him!

I just posted on another thread basically saying do whatever you need to do to get through this phase then worry about dealing with any bad habits. One thing at a time!

Sounds like the 8/9 month regression.

There is a great book explaining it called The Wonder Weeks by two scientists who researched all the developmental spurts up to 13 months.

They say:

"Your baby may start sleeping less well. Most babies do. She may refuse to go to bed, fall asleep less easily, and wake up sooner. Some are especially hard to get to sleep during the day. Others at night. And some stay up longer both during the day and at night."

The developmental spurt causing this happens at about 37 weeks, and there?s another one at around 46 weeks.

There?s useful information about it here, here and here.