Toddler prefers one parent

[guyshahar]

Hi there

Our 16 month old boy has gradually developed a strong preference for me over his mother. If I leave the room, he runs to the door and cries, but is indifferent when she does. When he is alone with her, he can be grumpy and miserable, but lights up when I walk into the room. He runs to me when he needs comfort, and sometimes rejects any sort of comfort from her. He is calm in my arms, but restless in hers. When he needs the breast, he goes to her, but any other time, he is totally indifferent to her.

My wife is an extremely devoted mother - every thought that she has is about how to make his life better and more comfortable. She has nothing but love for him, and this reaction to her is very painful for her.

Has anyone else had a situation like this, and have any ideas or advice about how to deal with it or how to balance out his relationship with us?

Its quite common, toddlers are very fickle though..in a few weeks he will probably prefer your wife

This is perfectly normal. It's a phase and it will pass.

It might help pass it sooner if your DW spends some quality one on one time with him. how about suggesting she takes him to the hell that is known as soft play? Or you could go out for a few hours and let her dop some messy play or crafts with him.

Please reassure your wife this is something most children do at some point and it is nothing to do with the way she cares for the child.

My youngest started doing this with DH and still does get a bit peeved if I tell her he is out and he does nothing with them or for them

No advice but I had the same with dd1, she is very much a daddy's girl.

My DD who is now 2.6 changes her mind almost daily who's her favourite parent.
When she was younger she went through a phase where she was pretty much only daddy's princess and I was cast aside (apart from when she was hungry or tired, then the little madam came mostly running to me).

Absolutely normal, it will pass and both of you will be in favour again (just not together at the same time )

DD is the same, although preferences change regularly. Yesterday she would only hold my hand and be with me, today she will only be with DH (right now they are sat on our bed watching telly, if i go up there and sit on the bed I'm told by DD to get off), I wouldn't worry about it, it will pass. I find it gives me a good chance for a guilt free break as she would rather be with DH and i can put my feet up and have a glass of wine in peace, although like notinmypocket, I always seem to get hungry and tired

It a phase, a painful one but it will pass.